


000.SC 
------

line 138:  You hear a delicate little click from the camcorder
as its tiny battery is now completely drained.

line 249:  x.yyy.zzz

line 250:  mm/dd/yy

line 251:  999-999-9999

line 252:  version

line 355:  Where to, Larry/Patti?

line 358:  L Opening

line 359:  Hollywood

line 360:  Limousine

line 361:  Airports

line 363:  Airplane

line 364:  P Opening

line 365:  K-RAP

line 366:  des Rever

line 368:  New York

line 369:  Atlantic City

line 370:  Miami

line 371:  Closing

line 373:  Restore

line 389:  sex?

line 391:  Larry

line 393:  Patti

line 457:  It's not much to look at.

line 460:  To whom were you trying to speak?

line 463:  There's nothing to do there.

line 469:  Now?!

line 473:  Now?!

line 477:  You coyly turn your back and
relieve yourself.
You quickly feel much better.
The hint of a smile crosses your lips.

line 482:  Visions of cucumbers dance through
your head.

line 493:  Good thinking! Shoot a little tape of that!

line 494:  (But is your pocket camcorder working?)

line 497:  You wave your napkin in the air. How fun!

line 500:  That's one more place that won't accept
your AeroDork Gold Card!

line 504:  That doesn't look like a vending machine!

line 507:  Stop flashing your money around, Larry!

line 510:  That's not something you should set afire!

line 513:  Your doily would look lovely there,
but you'd better keep it instead.

line 517:  Try finding some place else to place %s.

line 526:  You wave the fax in the air. You have fun.

line 527:  (But not much!)

line 530:  That's not a good place to pour out your
champagne.

line 534:  Your gold record would get scratched there.

line 537:  You wave the fax in the air. You have fun.

line 538:  (But not much!)

line 541:  You briefly comtemplate firing your bra
at that, but decide to hold your "fire."

line 545:  Try finding some place else to place %s.

line 574:  Aw, come on! You don't really want to quit, do you?
You were just catching on, too!

line 576:  Where do you think YOU'RE going?!

line 577:  Yep, I'm Gone!

line 578:  Oh, okay.

line 581:  MEMORY.DRV

line 588:  %d

line 591:   

line 663:  Memory fragmented.

line 665:  Who cares

line 666:  Debug

line 952:  An Erased Videotape

line 959:  Michelle Milken

line 960:  Lana Luscious

line 961:  Chi Chi Lambada

line 990:  You just earned %d more points, bringing
your total score up to %d. You only have %d more points to find.
Press Enter after you make a note of it, OK?

line 998:  For Our Q.A. Friends

line 1163:  This is a test

line 1165:  My name is Larry; Larry Laffer

line 1190:  You

line 1192:  You

line 1226:  Walk

line 1227:  Look

line 1228:  Do

line 1229:  Talk

line 1230:  Zipper

line 1231:  UNKNOWN_VERB

line 1234:  %d.msg

line 1235:  ;%s (%s) [%d,%d]: 

line 1243:  r

line 1324:  Use this icon to move your character.

line 1361:  Use this icon to look at things.

line 1381:  Use this icon to do things.

line 1400:  Use this icon to talk to other characters.

line 1419:  Say! You know what your zipper is used for!

line 1438:  This icon lets you "Fast Forward"
to the next interactive portion of the game.

line 1451:  Do you really want to skip ahead?

line 1452:  Fast Forward

line 1453:  Yes

line 1454:  Oops

line 1461:  ERROR: Object passed to SetFFRoom -1 ain't.

line 1485:  Select this icon to use the current inventory object.

line 1587:  Use this icon to bring up the inventory window.

line 1614:  This icon brings up the control panel.

line 1641:  This icon tells you about other icons.

line 1680:  Why, look! It's %s.

line 1685:  You engage in a short, but personally meaningful
conversation with %s.

line 1690:  That feels exactly like %s.

line 1695:  It seems %s just doesn't work with %s.

line 1702:  Don't do that to %s!

line 1865:  Score: %d of %d

line 1893:  Raise this to increase the amount of background animation.
Lower it if game play seems sluggish.

line 1917:  This adjusts the volume on some sound boards and
synthesizers.

line 1935:  This adjusts Larry and Patti's speed,
within the limits of your computer's capabilities.

line 1970:  Lower this slide to make text remain on the screen longer.
Raise it if you are a fast reader.

line 1992:  Use this to save the current state of your game.
When you later select Restore,
everything will be exactly as it is now.

line 2007:  This restores a game you saved earlier.

line 2027:  Use this to restart the game from the very beginning.

line 2040:  Use this to leave the game.

line 2053:  Here's where you learn more than you care to know
about this game.

line 2069:  This helps explain the other icons.

line 2083:  Use this to exit this menu and resume game play.









100.SC 
------

line 72:  rm100

line 99:  Passionate Patti Does PittsbuA Little Undercover Work

line 117:  Throughout this game, you can "Zap" ahead
by clicking this Fast Forward button,
which is now hidden at the top of your screen.

line 120:  Fast Forward

line 123:  Really? Show Me!

line 124:  Oops

line 276:  

line 507:  %c

line 519:  Pittsbu

line 527:   









110.SC 
------

line 72:  Throughout this game, you can "Zap" ahead
by clicking this Fast Forward button,
which is now hidden at the top of your screen.

line 75:  Fast Forward

line 78:  Really? Show Me!

line 79:  Oops

line 118:  Executive Producer  
Ken Williams

line 127:  Creative Director  
Bill Davis

line 136:  Director  
Al Lowe

line 146:  Producer  
Guruka Singh Khalsa

line 161:  Game Designer  
Al Lowe

line 170:  Production Designer  
Andy Hoyos

line 179:  Art Designer  
Jane Cardinal

line 188:  Lead Programmer  
Brian K. Hughes

line 197:  Composer  
Craig Safan

line 211:  An East Coast meeting is not going too well....









115.SC 
------

line 106:  Numbers from disk: %x %x %x

line 135:  Question: %d 
Numbers to disk: %x %x %x

line 162:  "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards"
contains some elements of plot which may not be considered
appropriate for some children.

line 165:  Sturgeon General's Warning

line 168:  Use the TAB key to select, 
then ENTER to continue.

line 181:  So, how old are you, anyway?

line 183:  under 15

line 184:  16 to 18

line 185:  19 to 39

line 187:  40 to 65

line 188:  66 to 99

line 189:  over 100

line 190:  No lying, please!

line 194:  

line 202:  Sorry, but this game can only be played by adults,
or with an adult. Please find an adult, come back,
and try again.

line 214:  Oh no, you're not!

line 220:  Shouldn't you be doing your homework?

line 223:  Yeah, sure you are!

line 226:  Gee, that's funny; you look much older!

line 229:  tttt__Warning!  
This game may be hazardous to your health!

line 234:  To verify your age, please answer these five
simple questions.

line 298:  CHEATER, CHEATER, CHEATER!!!

line 299:  Oh well, O.K., since it's you,
go on and play, but only this time!

line 434:  %c.

line 468:  Correct

line 486:  Oops. You blew that one!  
But since you came so close,
you get to play in spite of yourself!

line 491:  Oops. You blew that one!  
If you miss another, you can't possibly be old enough
to play this game!

line 497:  __________________YOU'RE A KID!!  
Shame on you for trying to deceive a friendly little
computer game like this!
Come back and try again when you're older (or wiser).

line 510:  

line 512:  

line 513:  

line 526:  Thank you.  
And now, slip into your leisure suit and prepare to enter the
"Land of the Lounge Lizards" with "Leisure Suit Larry!"

line 560:  LARRY.DRV

line 568:  %c.

line 624:  %8d%8d%8d









120.SC 
------

line 129:  Vinnie

line 140:  Vinnie

line 167:  Bruno

line 178:  Bruno

line 257:  "As you know, ever since LPs in the 50s, 
our recording industry subliminal message campaign, 
`Just Do Drugs,' has been a resounding success."

line 272:  "Drug sales have never been larger,
while prices remain firm as this slide shows."

line 282:  "Discounting our one abortive push to 
quadraphonic, results have been most gratifying."

line 293:  "Now to you, Leftie."

line 331:  "Our pornography division also enjoyed a period 
of explosive growth as you can see from this slide."

line 345:  "Unfortunately, after a quarter century of 
positive ROI, recent results have been flaccid."

line 355:  "We attempted to counter this trend with a heavy 
investment in rap music, thinking teenagers' continuous
exposure to pornographic lyrics would help sales of our
wider product line."

line 367:  "But the result is obvious: painfully
declining penetration!"

line 409:  "Our market research failed to foresee the 
widespread growth of cable!"

line 419:  "Even when we forced through rapidly
reduced VCR prices in the early 80s it just didn't help our X-rated
movie sales -- no one buys them!"

line 430:  "Why should they, when they can use
their remote controls to flip through channel after channel of almost
the same stuff in the comfort of their own homes?"

line 441:  "Now even the networks
are getting into the act!"









130.SC 
------

line 137:  Mr. Bigg

line 250:  "I understand the problem, but I want a solution!"

line 266:  Six months later, 
and a continent away, 
another Board of Directors meets...









140.SC 
------

line 267:  Biffie

line 314:  Scooter

line 360:  Silas Scruemall

line 414:  "And so," a corporate yes man continues,
"I'm pleased to say our contest to find 
`The Sexiest Woman in America' to serve as the hostess on 
`America's Sexiest Home Videos' 
has been a resounding success!"

line 427:  "The character portrayed by our hostess,
whom we've decided to name `Vanna Black,' 
will be one exceptional woman!"

line 438:  "We've searched for a woman, beautiful, 
yet with those All-American girl next door looks; 
a woman virginal and untouchable;
and yet, a woman who is sexy and slutty."

line 450:  "We've received thousands of submissions, 
and (thanks to the hard work by myself and my colleagues) 
narrowed the field down to three finalists."

line 461:  "I intend to have these women flown here,
first class, wined and dined in regal style,
then outfitted with the finest fashions Rodeo Drive
has to offer."

line 473:  "They'll want for nothing!
And, on the morning of the auditions,
champagne baths for all!
I've arranged national press coverage, of course."

line 485:  "In short, everything is proceeding 
according to schedule."

line 499:  There is a polite smattering of applause from the
the other lackies around the conference table.

line 508:  "But wait, Biffie. 
We all know that if we bring these women to Hollywood to
audition under those circumstances, they'll all be sexy."

line 520:  "Yes sir, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 520:  A Yes Man

line 521:  "Isn't that what we wanted, Mr. Scruemall?"

line 521:  A Yes Man

line 522:  "Bravo, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 522:  A Yes Man

line 526:  "But, we're looking for a woman 
so over-sexed she'd drop (what's she's doing) for any man, 
any time, any place, and for any loser, any dork, 
no matter how lame!

line 538:  "Yes sir, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 538:  A Yes Man

line 539:  "Isn't that what we wanted, Mr. Scruemall?"

line 539:  A Yes Man

line 540:  "Bravo, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 540:  A Yes Man

line 544:  "I've changed my mind!
Now I think we should hold a blind audition, 
where the women don't know they're being auditioned!"

line 556:  "Yes sir, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 556:  A Yes Man

line 557:  "Isn't that what we wanted, Mr. Scruemall?"

line 557:  A Yes Man

line 558:  "Bravo, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 558:  A Yes Man

line 562:  "But (with all due respects, Mr. Scruemall) 
that's impossible. 
We need videotape of their auditions for our own,
uh, personal review purposes.
There's no way we could follow the guy around without 
her seeing us!"

line 577:  "Well, yes, 
we do need those tapes to review. 
But what if we could find an auditioner so inept, so sexless, 
so lame, so unappealing, that it would take the sexiest 
woman in America to find him attractive?"

line 590:  "Great idea, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 590:  A Yes Man

line 591:  "Of course, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 591:  A Yes Man

line 592:  "Masterful stroke, Mr. Scruemall!"

line 592:  A Yes Man

line 597:  "But, Sil--, er, Mr. Scruemall! 
How will we ever find somebody so lame?"

line 637:  "Hi, guys!" you say cheerfully.
"So, who wanted java?"

line 642:  "You may begin with me, boy."

line 648:  (So you decide to do exactly that!)

line 668:  "Here you go, Mr. Scruemall," you say in your
best suck-up tone of voice.
"May I freshen that for you?"









150.SC 
------

line 196:  You

line 213:  You

line 224:  Silas Scruemall

line 264:  Silas Scruemall

line 275:  Silas Scruemall

line 364:  "Yooooooowwwwwww!!!!!!!!"

line 381:  "You clumsy idiot! What a dolt!"

line 390:  "Who hired this fool? 
Sexy women? 
Why even the sexiest woman in America wouldn't..."

line 416:  "Hey, wait a minute! 
Wait just a minute...."

line 418:  Silas Scruemall

line 444:  "Mmmm," says Silas, thinking fast and furiously.
"Uh, say buddy, er, nice leisure suit."

line 454:  "I'm sure I know you, uh, but what exactly is 
your name?"

line 464:  "Why, my name is Larry; Larry Laffer," you reply.

line 473:  "How quaint," he grumbles, 
"your first and middle names are exactly the same. 
Well, never mind about that.
I have a proposal I'd like to make to you, Daffer. 
Now, here's the deal."

line 486:  "You see, Luffner, 
I've got to find a hostess for our new television show."

line 496:  "Yes, I know," you offer proudly,
"I'm the Chief Tape Rewinder and Sterilizer
on this project!"

line 507:  (You conveniently neglect to mention the 
"Betamax Division" portion of your job description!)

line 512:  "And a fine job you're doing (I suppose).
Well, Larcher, we've used those audition tapes to
narrow the field down to three finalists,
but we're, uh, um," he stumbles,
"too ah, busy to hold their auditions here!"

line 525:  "So I want you to visit them in their,
ah, `home environments;' see them in their `natural habitat,'
so to speak; catch them `au naturale' if you can."

line 536:  (You understand many of the words in that last
sentence.)

line 541:  "You do know how to audition girls,
don't you, Loafer?"

line 551:  "What? Audition three women? 
No problem, boss, I'm your guy!"

line 561:  Why, it's like a dream come true! 
In fact, it's like several of your dreams come true!
When those babes find out why you're visiting,
they'll fall all over you!
Not that you mind, of course.
Anything for your company.

line 570:  "But, Loaner, 
if you tell them who you are,
or of your powerful position here at PPC, 
it could easily invalidate the data.
We want to see their reactions to a nice, 
normal guy like you, Lenny."

line 584:  "I must be certain you don't 
`take advantage' of the situation.
So, take this."

line 597:  "Wow, Mr. Scruemall," you say, 
unable to contain your excitement, 
"I can always use another pocket protector.
Mine's getting really vintage!"

line 607:  "Lipper, you fool!
This is no ordinary pocket protector!
It's a brand new, imported, miniaturized, 
.5 lux, Rob Lowe Model 'Complete Video Studio' 
merely disguised as some dork's Pocket Protector!"

line 621:  "I knew that," you pretend.

line 627:  "You must never let a `client'
suspect you are filming them or that you represent
the show!
They must each think of you only as plain 
Larry, Larry Limper!"

line 642:  "I can handle it, Sir," you say excitedly.

line 648:  "I hope so.
If you can pull this off, Lipper, 
I promise you a really big promotion: 
perhaps even to Assistant Associate Director! 
What do you think of that?

line 661:  You think, "Wow! 
This could be the big break I've been hoping for!"

line 664:  "I promise to give it everything I've got!"

line 673:  "Good.
I really want you to take charge, Larry.
Take whatever you need from here in the office;
you're really on your own.
I'll look forward to personally viewing those audition tapes
when you return."

line 687:  "But remember: because this little guy is 
such a new model and because it's so tiny, 
its recording time and battery life are severely limited!
Be sure you recharge after every girl!"

line 699:  "Heh, heh. 
Always a good idea," you think."

line 703:  "OK, Wopner, you've got one, 
maybe two days max! 
You'd better grab the girls' bios and get going!"

line 720:  What a dream assignment!
Travel across the United States, 
visiting three of the sexiest women in America,
and you get paid for doing it!!
Larry, it looks like things are really beginning to
go your way.

line 729:  (Of course, something makes you think you've 
had that thought before!)









160.SC 
------

line 66:  Once PornProdCorp was heavily involved in X-rated movies,
but since their recent I.P.O. and entry into soft-R
television, they've totally changed their image.
Now they are struggling their way into respectibility.

line 258:  Don't leave now, when they're crying for coffee
in there!

line 346:  "Excuse me!" you say, assuming responsibility!

line 380:  You grab the pot from the warmer and head for Mr.
Scruemall's office--eager to once again kiss
up to the boss!

line 422:  the fileroom door

line 427:  This door leads to the filing room where PPC stores
its voluminous correspondence. Some of your favorite
moments have been spent at this exact location, watching
secretaries fill those lower drawers.

line 441:  Don't leave now, when they're crying for coffee in there!

line 468:  Silas Scruemall's office door

line 475:  Remembering your boss' "open door" policy,
you decide to just follow your orders.
Besides, that's what you do best!

line 484:  This is the entrance to the office of
Silas Scruemall, your boss.
Mr. S is famous for his "open door" policy:
open his door and you're fired!

line 488:  A tasteful, wood-grained brass plate on his door reads,
"President, C. E. O., C. F. O., C. T. O., C. O. O.,
Chairman of the Board, Executive Producer"

line 494:  "Hey, Scruemall!" you whisper softly,
"I'm not afraid of you!"

line 496:  ("Only your power," you think.)

line 523:  the coffee pot

line 528:  You notice a fresh pot of "Discount Coffee Warehouse's"
finest Kona-like blend waiting on the warmer. You wonder
if anyone nearby would like a cup.

line 553:  the sound of coffee drinkers

line 554:  It looks like someone wants some coffee!

line 574:  the water cooler

line 575:  The water cooler is the office equipment with which
you're most familiar.

line 584:  You get a refreshing drink of bottled tap water.

line 607:  Here are some suggestions if this is the first
time you've played a Sierra adventure with the
"no-typing" interface.

line 610:  When windows like this one appear,
press ENTER or click your mouse to clear them away immediately.
Or, you can just wait and they'll clear automatically.
Use the control panel to adjust the Text Speed to
your reading speed.

line 615:  When there is no text here, you can press ESC or move
your mouse to the very top of your screen.
The "Icon Bar" will appear.
Click on the Question Mark,
then move your cursor across the other icons.
They'll each tell you what they do.

line 621:  Click on those icons to change your game cursor.
For example, choose the Eyeball icon and click it on
various things around this room to to "Look" at them.

line 629:  Choose the Walking Man icon from the icon bar and
click its feet where you would like to "Walk."

line 631:  Your feet will stop as close as possible to
where you clicked.

line 636:  Choose the Hand icon from the icon bar and
click its index finger where you would like to do some
"Action."

line 642:  This would be a good time to select the Eyeball "Look"
icon from the icon bar and click it on the coffee pot in
the upperleft corner of this room.

line 648:  Select the Hand "Action" icon and click it on the
coffee pot to use the coffee.

line 650:  If you haven't already,
now would be a good time to read the
documentation that came with this game.

line 679:  the coffee maker

line 686:  The coffee maker has just finished brewing a
fresh batch of Kahuii Koala Mocha-Homo Blend.

line 689:  There's no pot here. Remember? You broke it!

line 709:  Silas Scruemall's office door

line 724:  the "America's Sexiest Home Videos" sign

line 725:  Evidently this company is the home of
"America's Sexiest Home Videos."
You've heard of that show!
Especially since you work here!

line 734:  Yes, of course you think the sign is lovely,
but you really have no use for a big, ugly sign.

line 739:  If that thing talks back, you vow to leave the
building immediately!

line 759:  the portrait of Silas Scruemall

line 760:  "Our founder, Silas Scruemall!"

line 766:  Thinking yourself incredibly smart,
you attempt to remove the painting from the wall in order
to crack the safe which you feel certain lies behind it.

line 769:  You fail.

line 770:  (But not because you can't crack a good one!)

line 774:  Try talking to people instead.

line 791:  the poster

line 792:  Art is one thing, but this is something else!

line 798:  Take your hand off her!

line 799:  (You're smudging that fine cardboard surface!)

line 803:  You really ARE lonely, aren't you, Larry?

line 822:  the photographs

line 823:  The pictures are of past stars of PornProdCorp's many
films, television shows and artsy documentaries.
There are a total of zero pictures of
Chief Video Tape Rewinders like you.
You have no reason to assume you'll be the first!

line 833:  You really enjoy playing with your hands, eh, Larry?

line 853:  the hydrant photograph

line 854:  It's either the star of "Manhunter," or a fire hydrant,
you're not sure which.

line 861:  You have so much fun feeling things!

line 865:  You attempt to throw your voice into the picture.
You fail.

line 885:  the certificate

line 891:  "Class B Establishment" granted by the Board of Health.
(Contested by the Board of Good Taste!)

line 897:  This is in keeping with your opinion of this place.

line 917:  the plant

line 918:  You really enjoy the look of fine plastic.

line 924:  Ouch! Those plastic leaves are sharp!

line 928:  Does talking to plastic plants help them grow?

line 947:  the plant

line 948:  You really enjoy the look of fine plastic.

line 954:  Ouch! Pricked again!

line 958:  Does talking to plastic plants help them grow?

line 977:  the plant

line 978:  How you love plastic plants! (Especially the smell!)

line 984:  "SPROING!" says the leaf.

line 988:  Does talking to plastic plants help them grow?

line 1007:  the "Titty" award

line 1013:  "Presented to PornProdCorp for their humanitarian
efforts in the field of free speech and the commercial
development of the steel-reinforced videotape.
 
 
March 10, 1976"

line 1020:  Genuine Engraved Plastic

line 1023:  (Wow! It's a genuine "Titty!")

line 1027:  Is this the best thing you've found to do with your
hand cursor?

line 1046:  the chair

line 1047:  This chair and desk belong to the person least in favor
with your boss, Silas Scruemall.
Currently, they are unoccupied.
Often, you sit here.

line 1056:  You're afraid to sit down here since your boss may come
out of his office at any moment.
Shouldn't you continue with your mission?

line 1078:  the desk

line 1079:  This chair and desk belong to the person least in favor
with your boss, Silas Scruemall.
Currently, they are unoccupied.
Often, you sit here.

line 1088:  Rubbing your hand across the desk makes you appreciate
its fine vinyl woodgrain surface.

line 1107:  the cabinet

line 1108:  The only thing in the cabinet under the coffee pot is a
box of thoughtfully, premeasured, preweakened coffee
portions, and some empty plastic bags that used to hold
stacks of styrofoam coffee cups.
You have no need for either coffee or filters.

line 1118:  You have no need for coffee or filters.

line 1140:  the electrical outlet

line 1147:  The coffee pot is plugged into the upper electrical
outlet, and your battery charger is "currently"
occupying the lower outlet.

line 1151:  The coffee pot is plugged into the upper electrical
outlet, but the lower one is "currently" available.

line 1167:  Good idea! You can never tell when a guy might
need his pocket protector fully charged!

line 1172:  The camcorder can't be plugged into an outlet.
You must use its recharger base.

line 1195:  the hallway

line 1196:  This hallway leads to the Department of Video Tape
Rewinding and your workroom, where you fulfill your job as
Chief Rewinder and Sterilizer (Beta Division).

line 1210:  Teaching

line 1230:  You engage in a short, but personally meaningful
conversation with %s.

line 1236:  That feels exactly like %s.

line 1242:  It seems %s just doesn't work with %s.

line 1249:  Don't do that to %s!









170.SC 
------

line 49:  You are so proud of this, your humble workshop.

line 146:  Nope, nothing of interest in this drawer!

line 151:  This drawer only contains a few old donut crumbs.

line 157:  Without the battery recharger, this drawer
seems so empty!

line 162:  Well, well! What's this? So that's where
you left your battery recharger!

line 167:  You take it from the drawer and pop it into
your pocket.

line 230:  And you always thought those were DAT tapes!
You cleverly label the tapes "Girl 1," "Girl 2,"
and "Girl 3."

line 257:  The tape has already been degaussed.

line 267:  Sliding the switch to send rapidly alternating,
pulsating currents through your degausser, 
you sensually slide the girl's dedicated magnetic 
particles in slow concentric circles over the degausser,
gradually increasing in speed and intensity, 
until they (and you) are randomly aligned.
A shudder passes through your body!!

line 274:  By God, that's degaussing!

line 318:  the camcorder tapes

line 319:  You've found them! These are the tapes you need
for your new Pocket Protector Camcorder.

line 331:  You try in vain to insert your camcorder into
those tiny tapes.

line 371:  the lobby door

line 372:  The door to the lobby seems oh, so familiar to you.
Probably because you entered this room through it!
Your "The Girls of Videotape Technician's Magazine" 
calendar hangs on the back, open to Miss October, 
who (in your opinion) has the best "reels" of the
bunch!

line 414:  the degausser

line 415:  Your degausser, which you use to degauss tapes,
rests on the workbench.

line 422:  Degaussers work on tapes, not hands.
They return the magnetic particles to a random distribution.

line 424:  (They erase tapes!)

line 454:  the drawer

line 455:  It looks like a closed drawer.

line 480:  the drawer

line 481:  It looks like a closed drawer.

line 506:  the drawer

line 507:  It looks like a closed drawer.

line 530:  the cabinet

line 531:  You have no idea what's inside these cabinets since you
are too short to see inside.

line 538:  You've always wanted to look inside those
upper cabinets, but your arms are too short.

line 556:  your barrel of sterilizer

line 557:  This barrel contains the sterilizing solution that you use
on all incoming video tapes before rewinding them and
distributing them to the members of the ASHV Audition Team.

line 566:  You quickly rinse your hands with the sterilizing
solution. You rather enjoy it, although for the life
of you, you don't know why.

line 571:  "Hey, Sterilizer!" you yell into the metal drum.
"Every night's your night in the barrel!"

line 575:  You rinse %s in a stream of sterilizer,
effectively removing over 90%c of the bacteria from
its environmental surfaces.

line 598:  the video monitor

line 599:  You use this monitor every day to preview the incoming
submissions, making sure they're explicit enough to
pass on to the official members of the Submissions Team.

line 607:  You've seen enough of this monitor over the last few
months. You don't want to see any more.

line 612:  These tapes only fit in your Pocket Protector
Camcorder.

line 650:  the floor drain

line 651:  You often feel this is where your life is headed.

line 657:  Cleverly surmising the humble floor drain is really a
secret passage to another part of the building,
you yank and tug on the grate, 
only to find it is firmly screwed.

line 661:  (You can relate to that!)

line 664:  "Hello!" you shout down the drain.

line 665:  "Heeeellllooooo."

line 666:  "Heeeellllooooo."

line 667:  "Heeeellllooooo."

line 684:  the boxes

line 685:  You have no use for empty boxes.

line 691:  "Nah," you think, "who needs a box?"

line 708:  some videotapes

line 714:  These tapes are of no use to you.

line 717:  These are the tapes of the women who didn't make
the cut. They won't fit in your camcorder.

line 719:  (And neither do their tapes!)

line 826:  the lamp

line 827:  It's just hanging around here... rather like you, Larry!

line 860:  the fuzzy dice

line 861:  Your sole attempt to decorate your
workspace is one-half of a pair of
fuzzy dice, left over from your '74 Bug.









180.SC 
------

line 44:  PPC's file room is filled with file cabinets which
are filled with files.

line 114:  the credit card imprinter

line 128:  The empty credit card imprinter holds no 
fascination for you.

line 131:  Say! 
An exclusive "AeroDork Airlines Gold Card" 
rests in the credit card imprinter. 
Probably just someone racking up a few charges 
on the ol' company dole!

line 140:  The imprinter is of no value to you.
The Gold Card was all you needed.

line 162:  the drawer

line 170:  The "Winners" drawer is now empty.

line 173:  There are three resume files here.

line 176:  Why look! Here it is!! 
This drawer is labeled "Winners!"

line 184:  There was nothing else of value in that drawer.

line 240:  Assuming that your recent promotion now authorizes such
extravagance, you remove the luxurious "AeroDork Gold Card"
from the credit card imprinter.

line 322:  You take the three resumes from the drawer.

line 346:  the light

line 347:  Staring into the lamp
is an enlightening experience for you.

line 361:  the bookcase

line 362:  This bookcase is filled with everything but books.

line 368:  The bookcase contains nothing that is of use to you.
Perhaps you should look elsewhere.

line 386:  the nude painting

line 387:  You don't know much about art, 
but something about this painting touches your fancy!

line 394:  You'd love to fold this up for your wallet,
but you refuse to create a bulge in your leisure suit.

line 398:  "Were you ever featured in `National Geographic?'"
you wonder.

line 416:  your desk

line 417:  Why are there no workers in this place?

line 423:  What? You work?! No way!

line 440:  the lamp

line 441:  You admire anyone who uses incandescent lighting.

line 447:  You have no use for the lamp.

line 450:  "Testing 1, 2, 3!" you say forcefully, thinking that
desk lamp is a hidden microphone.

line 468:  the magnifier

line 474:  One of your favorite pastimes here at PornProdCorp is to
stand here holding the magnifier up to various parts of
your anatomy.

line 477:  Like your fingerprints, Larry!

line 478:  (Shame on you for thinking thoughts like that!)

line 481:  You move the magnifier slightly, 
then restore it to exactly the same spot again, 
all in the twinkling of a video scan!

line 502:  the file drawer

line 503:  This file drawer is labeled "Losers." 
You're looking for the files of the three finalists. 
This is no time to try to fatten your address book, Larry!

line 511:  As you start to open the drawer, you read the label, 
and decide this is not the drawer for you.

line 530:  the file drawer

line 531:  This file drawer is labeled "Losers." 
You're looking for the files of the three finalists. 
This is no time to try to fatten your address book, Larry!

line 538:  As you start to open the drawer, you read the label, 
and decide this is not the drawer for you.

line 557:  the file drawer

line 558:  This file drawer is labeled "Losers." 
You're looking for the files of the three finalists. 
This is no time to try to fatten your address book, Larry!

line 565:  As you start to open the drawer, you read the label, 
and decide this is not the drawer for you.

line 583:  some books

line 584:  Why would you want to look at books, Larry?
You can barely read!

line 598:  the fan

line 599:  This is your biggest fan!

line 605:  You are afraid to turn on that fan without 
protective garments.

line 607:  (And it, you!)

line 624:  your chair

line 625:  This chair is your favorite work-place sleeper.

line 631:  Remember: the Sexiest Woman in America. 
THE Sexiest Woman in America! 
You're not going to find her sitting around in here!

line 652:  the twins poster

line 653:  This poster is your personal favorite.
You've always had a soft spot for twins.

line 659:  This poster is your personal favorite.
You've always had a soft spot for %s-haired twins.

line 661:  red

line 661:  blonde

line 680:  the rolls of paper

line 681:  There are some unimportant rolls of paper lying there.









190.SC 
------

line 39:  You are outside PPC's general headquarters,
nestled in the smog beneath the Hollywood hills.
Gawd, how you love being in show biz!

line 204:  your limousine

line 205:  At last! You finally get to ride in a real limo.

line 233:  the front door of PornProdCorp

line 234:  This door leads back into the PPC lobby.

line 255:  the fountain

line 256:  Passing the tinkling water makes you want to pass
tinkling water.

line 263:  Carefully checking to make sure that no one
can see you,
you take full advantage of the PPC Memorial Fountain.

line 268:  Now %s is wet!

line 274:  Carefully checking to make sure that no one
can see you,
you take full advantage of the PPC Memorial Fountain.

line 317:  Chesty

line 323:  You remember her!
She's PornProdCorp's founding mother: Chesty Turbo!

line 329:  You can't really do what you're thinking!

line 332:  "I'm so lonely," you moan to the statue.

line 335:  Larry! She's not that good!

line 352:  that PornProdCorp logo

line 353:  You presume PPC chose that logo because the tongue
is the universal symbol of good taste.

line 368:  the palm tree

line 375:  For just a moment, you have the feeling that tree is
the only thing in Hollywood that's straight!

line 378:  (Then you notice it's leaning!)

line 381:  You love the feel of palms, don't you, Larry?

line 384:  "I Talk to the Trees," you sing.

line 401:  the Hollywood sign

line 402:  You love working here because everyone in this city tries
so hard to treat you fairly.

line 416:  the buildings

line 417:  You wonder how many disco parties are going on in those
office buildings over there!

line 431:  the buildings

line 432:  You wonder how many disco parties are going on in those
office buildings over there!

line 446:  the windows

line 447:  You just love voyeurism, don't you?

line 453:  Keep your hands off the glass

line 456:  "Hello! Is anybody in there?" you shout through the
glass.

line 458:  (There is no response.)

line 475:  the windows

line 476:  You just love voyeurism, don't you?









200.SC 
------

line 65:  You've always wondered what it would be like to
travel by limousine.

line 161:  Bobbi

line 245:  Bobby

line 347:  "Home, Bobby!"
you tell your handsome chauffeur.

line 360:  You change your mind and hang up the telephone.

line 363:  Hmmm. Wrong number.

line 502:  the fish

line 503:  There's a carsick goldfish swimming in the
limousine's aquarium.

line 510:  As much as you would love to pet the fish,
the fish prefers you to leave him alone.

line 529:  the privacy window

line 530:  A piece of soundproof glass blocks conversation
between you and your driver.

line 569:  the DayTrotter05

line 576:  Look! Some poor unfortunate traveler forgot his
appointment calendar.

line 606:  your leg

line 607:  You've always felt your legs were one of your
better assets.

line 624:  the television set

line 645:  the television set

line 663:  This is a good show, but one you've seen before!

line 665:  This show is SO boring.

line 666:  (Oh, wait. The television isn't on!)

line 678:  You turn the television set off.

line 682:  You turn the television set on.

line 703:  the telephone

line 711:  A cellular phone rests conveniently beside you.

line 770:  Look! Some poor unfortunate traveler forgot his
appointment calendar.

line 773:  Yeah, too bad for the other guy. He'll never know.
Besides, he would probably want you to have it!

line 801:  the champagne bottle

line 810:  A chilled bottle of champagne awaits your pleasure.

line 837:  the fax

line 858:  You grab the fax from the machine.
The header says "Reverse Biaz."

line 864:  You grab the fax from the machine.
The header says "P. C. Hammer."

line 914:  the video recorder

line 915:  A professional quality videotape player rests above
the television set.

line 922:  Too bad it's broken.

line 940:  the video tapes

line 941:  There are many videotapes in that rack that you
would love to see. Unfortunately, the VCR is broken!

line 948:  You have no way to play those tapes since the
limo's videotape player is broken.

line 967:  the aquarium

line 968:  How bizarre! A limousine with an aquarium!

line 975:  You would love to grab the little fishy and pet him
and make him your friend and take him home and the two
of you grow old together and spend his final years resting
in a small bowl of briny water on your nightstand.

line 980:  As much as you would love to pet the fish,
the fish would prefer if you'd leave him alone.

line 1010:  the bottles and glasses

line 1011:  There are enough bottles of liquor and glasses
to throw a party.
All you need now is some friends!

line 1023:  Leave the bottles and glasses alone.

line 1044:  the stereo

line 1045:  The limousine's stereo has both a cassette tape player
and a CD.

line 1052:  Both the CD player and the cassette deck are broken.

line 1070:  the cabinet door

line 1071:  A small, locked liquor compartment rests beneath the
right front passenger's seat.
You wonder when it will be your turn to live high on
the hog.

line 1081:  The cabinet is locked!

line 1175:  "I'm sorry, Sir," crackles the driver's voice
through the intercom,
"but my cellular telephone won't work in this area.
Too much interference or something."

line 1179:  "Besides, I'm sure you were not given authorization
for cellular calls."

line 1181:  DAMN! And all your life you've wanted to try a cell
phone!

line 1188:  Hang up! You have a fax coming!

line 1194:  xxx You already have the information you need,
Patti!

line 1204:  You don't need to use the phone right now.
But, perhaps later.

line 1217:  You dial Inspector Desmond's office telephone.
Soon a familiar voice answers.

line 1219:  "Hello, this is Desmond."

line 1220:  "Hi ya, Boss!" you say cheerfully.
"I was wondering if I might get some
information from you."

line 1229:  "Sure, Patti!" replies Desmond.
"What is it you're looking for?"

line 1233:  "Inspector,
please fax me some information about..."

line 1235:  ReverseBiaz

line 1236:  PCHammer

line 1242:  "Inspector," you ask,
"could you please fax me some information about
P. C. Hammer?"

line 1248:  "Inspector," you ask,
"could you please fax me some information about
Reverse Biaz?"

line 1322:  the mirror

line 1365:  the window

line 1371:  If you roll down the windows,
you'll spoil the air-conditioned comfort in which you ride.

line 1376:  It looks like you are moving.

line 1378:  Bored silly, you find yourself staring out the
windows!

line 1402:  the fax machine

line 1410:  How wonderful. Your own personal fax machine.

line 1411:  (Doesn't everybody travel like this?)

line 1420:  The fax machine has no way to dial out.
If you want to make a telephone call,
your cellular phone rests right beside your right hand.

line 1451:  The fax machine awakens...

line 1486:  your limo driver

line 1504:  You are sealed off from your driver by that big
soundproof glass window.

line 1701:  "Sir, we have arrived at your destination!"
says your driver.
"I hope your journey was a pleasant one."

line 1722:  As you are ready to exit the limousine,
you notice a small leather binder on the seat beside you.
You feel certain the limo company will make no attempt to
locate its rightful owner, so you take it,
vowing to search relentlessly until you find its owner
and return his missing DayTrotter05 to him!

line 1738:  You think, "Who wants a stupid old DayTrotter05
anyway?" So you leave it and all the things that
came with it on the seat of your limo.
"Let somebody else hassle with that thing!" you think.
"I've got better things to do!"

line 1753:  Meanwhile... 
in a plane far, far away....

line 1804:  As you drift off to sleep, you begin to dream.

line 1922:  "Oh, Donald!" you moan in your dream.

line 1923:  "The Donald," he corrects you.

line 1924:  "MY Donald," you correct him!
"I so love this little boat you bought me..."

line 1926:  "...I'm going to name it, `The Tramp Pianist!'"

line 1929:  "Oh, Willi," you moan in your dream.
"Put down that keyboard and practice a little
touch typing on me!"

line 1932:  "Not now, Patti!" he replies,
"I'm about to finish cutting a deal with IBM!"

line 1936:  "Oh, OH, OOOOOHHHHHH!" you shout in your dream!
"I just love it when you do that!"

line 1938:  "I just hope my three nephews don't come in
about now!" he replies.

line 1956:  your limo driver

line 1965:  Geez, no matter where you go,
no matter which limousine rental company you use,
no matter who the driver...
these limos all look exactly alike!

line 1976:  "Airport, eh?" says Bobbi.
"It's a great place--if you like flying!"

line 1982:  "Hard Disk Cafe, eh?" says Bobbi.
"It's a great place--if you like computers!"

line 1987:  "Tramp's Casino, eh?" says Bobbi.
"It's a great place--if you like gambling!"

line 1992:  "Doc Pulliam's, eh?" says Bobbi.
"It's a great place--if you like pain!"

line 1997:  "The Shill Building, eh?" says Bobby.
"It's a great place--if you like music!"

line 2005:  "K-RAP Radio, eh?" says Bobby.
"It's a great place--if you like rap!"

line 2037:  Bobbi Bang, your limo driver,
is as cute as a button.

line 2041:  Bobbi Bangue, your present limo driver,
is as cute as a pin.

line 2045:  Bobbi Bahng, your latest limo driver,
is as cute as a baby's bottom.

line 2049:  Bobbi Biang, your current limo driver,
is as cute as any limo driver you've ever had.

line 2054:  Bobby Bang, your limo driver for the entire tour,
is about as cute as guys come.

line 2061:  Please leave your driver alone!

line 2064:  You tap on the glass but there is no answer.

line 2084:  Please leave the driver alone!
%se's doing the best %se can!

line 2086:  Sh

line 2086:  H

line 2087:  sh

line 2087:  h

line 2094:  You try to get the driver's attention,
but she ignores you.

line 2098:  The driver points to her ear and shrugs,
indicating she is unable to hear you through
the soundproof glass window.

line 2103:  Perhaps you could show her where you want to go.

line 2106:  "Hello, Miss.
Thanks for lowering that window.
I'm sorry, but I can't hear you anyway--I'm deaf!
Just show me where you want to go."

line 2112:  The intercom from the driver's compartment
crackles to life, "I'm sorry,
but I can't hear you through the soundproof glass!"

line 2121:  "Hey Baby!
How about crawling back here and letting me drive you
for a change?!"

line 2124:  (She ignores you completely--an experience
not wholly unfamiliar to you!)

line 2128:  "I thought I tried that when we were in
Baltimore?!"

line 2132:  "Hey, baby," says Bobby Bang,
"if you're serious about that,
maybe I should stop the car?!"

line 2137:  "Hey, baby," says Bobby Bang,
"that's okay with me!
Let's wait until we get to Baltimore!"

line 2146:  "Please!" she shouts through the intercom,
"It's not safe to bother me while I'm driving!"

line 2153:  You're at the airport now!

line 2170:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"I ain't gonna haul you all the way to
New York City!"

line 2175:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"you're already there!"

line 2179:  You have no need to return to
New York City.

line 2198:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"I ain't gonna haul you all the way to
Atlantic City!"

line 2203:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"you're already there!"

line 2207:  You have no need to return to
Atlantic City.

line 2226:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"I ain't gonna haul you all the way to
Miami."

line 2231:  "Waddayou, crazy?" shouts Bobbi,
"you're already there!"

line 2235:  You have no need to return to
Miami.

line 2261:  "Oh, come on, lady!" says the driver,
"that's where you are now!"

line 2265:  "I'm sorry, lady," says Bobby,
"But I can only handle one destination at
a time!"

line 2287:  "Oh, come on, lady!" says the driver,
"that's where you are now!"

line 2291:  "I'm sorry, lady," says Bobby,
"But I can only handle one destination at
a time!"

line 2313:  Your driver stares blankly
at the totally blank DataMan.

line 2319:  "Oh, come on, lady!"
says the driver,
"that's where you are now!"

line 2324:  "I'm sorry, lady,"says Bobby,
"But I can only handle one destination
at a time!"

line 2348:  "Oh, come on, lady!"
says the driver,
"that's where you are now!"

line 2353:  "I'm sorry, lady,"says Bobby,
"But I can only handle one destination
at a time!"









205.SC 
------

line 166:  Meanwhile, 
back in your limo...

line 191:  Meanwhile, 
another East Coast 
1cBoard Meeting" 
takes place...

line 211:  "So, tell me, boys," says Mr. Bigg,
"is everything proceeding according to our plan?"

line 213:  Mr. Bigg

line 223:  "Yes sir, Mr. Bigg!
Our friends in Hollywood have the industry in an uproar.
Their `America's Sexiest Home Videos' show is the talk of
show biz!"

line 235:  "There's every indication it will be the
smash hit of the fall season."

line 245:  "And, we've found the perfect way
to attack our little straw dog:
I've discovered a new, hyper-active,
political action committee called
`Conservatives Against Nearly Everything.'"

line 258:  "I'm sure they would be willing to become
the focus of a national campaign to clean up the airwaves."

line 268:  "I'd like to propose to you, Boss,
that we make a `little investment' in the health and
well-being of C.A.N.E.
You know, a `little something' to show how much we support
their cause.'"

line 278:  The room is filled with suppressed laughter.

line 286:  "Well, boys, I think you know I'm always interested in
`raising C.A.N.E.!'"

line 288:  Mr. Bigg

line 297:  The laughter becomes unsuppressed!

line 302:  "This bunch sounds like the perfect group
to be the vanguard of our little protest against
the filth of the airwaves!
Why don't you make an anonymous contribution to our
simple little friends at C.A.N.E., eh, boys?"

line 307:  Mr. Bigg

line 325:  Meanwhile, 
your boss receives an 
angry telephone call...

line 337:  Silas Scruemall listens intently and deferentially
to the powerful voice on the other end of the line.

line 344:  "Let me assure you, Julius:
everything IS proceeding nicely.
No, sir.
I will NOT let you down."

line 356:  "Yes, sir.
That's also being taken care of.
No, it's handled.
I have a man on it right now.
All right; whatever you say, Julius!"

line 381:  Meanwhile, 
a conservative political action 
committee is pleased to receive 
a sizable contribution...

line 394:  "Well, thank you, gentlemen.
I promise your CONSIDERABLE contribution will not be wasted!"

line 404:  "I dare say this one donation will enable us to
now succeed where we've been unable to before.
You just don't know how grateful we are!"

line 415:  "You're welcome.
But, just remember:
our `benefactor' insists that his contribution remain
completely anonymous."

line 427:  "There are no strings attached;
do with it as you will.
But--he expects to see positive benefits immediately.
Is that acceptable to you?"

line 439:  "Why, sure.
In fact, I know just where this money would do the most good.
Tell your boss he's made the right decision going with us!
C.A.N.E. will not let him down!"

line 451:  "Oh, let's just say he fully intends to see
that you live up to your end of this bargain
(if you get my drift)."

line 474:  Meanwhile, 
a conservative political action 
committee peddles a little 
more than just influence...

line 494:  "And as you know
(blah blah blah)
interested in traditional American values,
(blah blah blah)
my campaign promises
(blah blah blah)
good and virtue
(blah blah blah)"

line 502:  Your Elected Official

line 508:  "And furthermore
(blah blah blah)
if re-elected, I will
(blah blah blah)
pornography, blatant exploitation
(blah blah blah)
minors, miners
(blah blah blah)"

line 516:  Your Elected Official

line 522:  "And in conclusion,
(blah blah blah)
(blah blah blah)"

line 525:  Your Elected Official

line 531:  "Yeah, okay, Senator, we've got it.
Here's the deal: there's plenty more where this comes from,
as long as we see some progress on that bill to tighten
regulation of the airwaves."

line 543:  "We want that smut off the air--and we're
willing to back up our beliefs in the `traditional' American
way. So? Do you want it or don't you?"

line 554:  "Gimme that suitcase, boy.
I got legislation to write!" he grins.

line 556:  Your Elected Official

line 653:  A Flunkee

line 681:  A Flunkee

line 709:  Silas Scruemall

line 754:  President of C.A.N.E.

line 796:  Mob Flunky

line 833:  A C.A.N.E.-er









250.SC 
------

line 179:  Look! There's a plain brown envelope lying on top of
that trash recepticle near the ATM machine.

line 183:  You are outside the %s airport.
AeroDork Airlines has installed one of their exclusive
ATMs near the entrance.

line 188:  Los Angeles

line 191:  New York

line 194:  Atlantic City

line 197:  Miami

line 231:  the ATM

line 239:  AeroDork was the first airline to feature
ATM machines ("Automated Ticket Machines").
These machines have allowed AeroDork to completely
eliminate ticket agents.

line 249:  "Hello!" you cry, "is this machine voice activated?"

line 250:  The ATM's voice activation circuits may be implemented
"Real Soon Now."

line 279:  your limousine

line 322:  A small,
tasteful bumper sticker on the back of the limo reads,
"Honk if you can last more than thirty seconds."

line 348:  the control tower

line 354:  This tower contains all the many new air traffic
controllers recently hired to keep you totally safe
during takeoffs and landings.

line 372:  the bushes

line 378:  "Is your name George?" you joke to Mister Bush.

line 381:  There's nothing hidden in the planter.

line 384:  Do you talking to the plants will make them grow?

line 399:  the luggage

line 405:  That piece of luggage belongs to some other jet
setter, Larry.

line 421:  the luggage

line 427:  That piece of luggage belongs to some other jet
setter, Larry.

line 443:  the car

line 449:  This car has been parked here well over
the 3 minute time limit!

line 465:  the car

line 471:  This car has been parked here well over
the 3 minute time limit!

line 487:  the driveway

line 493:  This is the part of the airport where planes
are not supposed to drive!

line 510:  the door

line 516:  That door is for those travelers with enough wisdom and
experience to not choose AeroDork Airlines.

line 532:  the sign

line 537:  The sign says you are presently in %s, Larry!

line 540:  Los Angeles

line 543:  New York

line 546:  Atlantic City

line 549:  Miami

line 569:  the plain brown envelope

line 574:  You conveniently "forget" to leave any money.
You feel guilty... but only for a few moments.

line 581:  There's an envelope here.

line 590:  You take the envelope,
open it and find your non-personalized,
"100% legal," surrogate green card inside.

line 608:  the airplane

line 614:  "Da plane, boss, da plane!"

line 617:  You may think you can touch that airplane...
but you're wrong!

line 637:  the trash can

line 646:  There's a plain brown envelope resting
inconspicuously on the top of the trash can.

line 649:  A small sign on the side of the trash receptacle
reads, "Hold it till you get to the can!"

line 657:  There's nothing in the trash can--in THIS
Leisure Suit Larry game!

line 673:  the cloud

line 679:  A lonely cloud drifts by on V.F.R.

line 682:  You may think you can touch the clouds...
but you're wrong!

line 699:  the door

line 712:  This door leads to the exclusive AeroDork gates.









258.SC 
------

line 135:  Out of boarding passes at this time.
Please try again in another city!

line 165:  You have entered an incorrect destination for this
airport at this hour. But, we still appreciate your
selection of AeroDork Airlines.

line 188:  You are standing before one of AeroDork Airline's
amazing new Automatic Ticket Machines.
Just insert your exclusive AeroDork Gold Club membership
card into the slot on the left.

line 195:  Insert your exclusive AeroDork Gold Club membership
card into the slot on the left.

line 214:  Hey! Take your Aerodork gold card!

line 223:  Look, you twit. If you wander off and leave
that card here I'll see to it that your luggage
goes non-stop to Muncie, Indiana!

line 234:  Fine. I'm ignoring you.

line 262:  Hey! Don't forget your gold card!

line 309:  PM

line 311:  AM

line 313:  %2d:%02d %s

line 333:  the boarding pass

line 340:  Oh, it's you Mr. Hughes! Of course you may
have a boarding pass! Right away, Sir!

line 349:  Please take your boarding pass now.

line 392:  Your newly obtained boarding pass is just hanging
there, waiting for you to grab it.

line 423:  your Aerodork card

line 433:  Please take your Aerodork gold card now.

line 455:  Your AeroDork Gold Card is ready to return to your
pocket.

line 462:  Thank you for flying AeroDork!

line 501:  Welcome, Mr. Davis! Where to today?

line 512:  New York

line 532:  Atlantic City

line 552:  Miami

line 572:  Los Angeles

line 624:  the card slot

line 630:  Insert your AeroDork Gold card into this slot.

line 658:  the boarding pass slot

line 659:  Boarding passes are emitted from this slot.

line 672:  the nameplate

line 673:  The nameplate says, "AeroDork Airlines."

line 686:  the screen

line 687:  The AeroDork ATM has a touch-sensitive screen.

line 701:  the destination

line 706:  Click the hand icon here to select the flight
to %s.

line 709:  Los Angeles

line 710:  Miami

line 711:  Atlantic City

line 712:  New York

line 720:  Please enter the five character Destination Code from
your AeroDork Airline Travel Brochure.

line 748:  the destination

line 753:  Click the hand icon here to select the flight
to %s.

line 756:  Los Angeles

line 757:  Miami

line 758:  Atlantic City

line 759:  New York

line 767:  Please enter the five character Destination Code from
your AeroDork Airline Travel Brochure.

line 795:  the destination

line 800:  Click the hand icon here to select the flight
to %s.

line 803:  Los Angeles

line 804:  Miami

line 805:  Atlantic City

line 806:  New York

line 814:  Please enter the five character Destination Code from
your AeroDork Airline Travel Brochure.









260.SC 
------

line 60:  You are in the west wing of the lavish AeroDork Airline
terminal building.

line 305:  You are in the west wing of the lavish AeroDork Airline
terminal building.
It's easy to tell when you're traveling via AeroDork--you're
bored!

line 311:  Los Angeles

line 314:  New York

line 317:  Atlantic City

line 320:  Miami

line 388:  the cigarette machine

line 395:  How quaint!
A public cigarette vending machine.
You thought those had all been eliminated by
anti-smoking activists.

line 425:  the chairs

line 431:  Evidently Aerodork Airline's automated
flight handling is efficient--there's not
one person waiting in this waiting room.

line 436:  Sit? Now? When your plane is scheduled for departure
in a matter of seconds?

line 457:  the column

line 463:  Why would such a modern structure require
a post so near a corner?

line 467:  Feeling that familiar sense of "adventure game
frustration," you long to bang your head against that post
in the corner, but refuse to give up!

line 472:  "You know, I once had a girl friend that
reminds me of talking to you," you say to the post.

line 493:  the plant

line 499:  Aerodork has spared no expense to decorate
this fabulous gateway.

line 520:  the door

line 526:  This door leads to a part of the game that
Al never got around to writing.

line 530:  This door not only is locked, it doesn't
even have a knob!

line 577:  You feel around in the cigarette vending machine's
change slot and find...

line 588:  ...a pair of quarters!

line 591:  ...nothing.
Someone must have taken whatever change was left here!

line 618:  the outlet

line 636:  This outlet would be perfect for plugging in
something electrical.

line 642:  Your battery pack is nearly recharged.

line 644:  There is an electrical outlet on the wall.

line 666:  the plant

line 672:  Aerodork has spared no expense to decorate
this fabulous gateway.

line 701:  the sign

line 708:  Injured in an Automobile Accident?
Hurt in a Work-Related Accident?
Been pulled over by the L.A.P.D.?
Let our personal injury lawyers work for YOU!
We collect only if you win your case.
Free consultation.
Ambulance Chasers, Inc.

line 717:  Now in its 1st Straight Season on Broadway!
Harold King's "Kiss Me, My Fair Fiddler on the
West Side of the Best Little Cabaret in Oklahoma!"
Sold out through April, 2003.
Vincent Couldbe says,
"Even better than last year's
`Hello Annie's Greasy South Pacific Chorus Line!'"
Contact TicketMeister.

line 727:  Welcome to Atlantic City,
"Where Dreams Come True."
Remember, bet your limit... never limit your bet!

line 732:  Welcome to Miami, "America's Friendliest City."
Warning: local ordinances forbid carrying lead pipes
or tire irons in a concealed manner.
Just keep them visible. Have a wonderful stay!

line 751:  the sign

line 759:  For elegant dining in an informal atmosphere,
come to Bubba's-On-The-Bay.
Exquisite nouvelle cuisine served in the classic
Deep South style.
Chicken-fried Medallions of Veal,
Blackened Carpaccio with Capers and Oleo,
Jambalaya Sorbet.
Check out our new puzzle placemats!

line 769:  Welcome to New York City!
Home of the San Francisco Giants, New Jersey Jets,
and Los Angeles Dodgers!

line 774:  Broke? Down on your luck?
Stupidly lost all your money gambling?
Looking for some kind person to give you a break?
Don't hang around here and we
won't hang out in your cardboard box.

line 781:  Irv's Pre-Passing Extended Care Home.
Finest nursing home arrangements in the country.
TV night every other Sunday. Bingo.
Guaranteed digestable food.
Irv says, "If you're waiting to pass away,
stay with us today!"

line 802:  the sign

line 809:  Take the Yawniversal Studios Tour!
Get bit by the Real Shark from "Maws."
Get crushed in the hand of the Giant Robot Ape
from "King Dong."
Get stabbed in the abdomen at the Gates Hotel
from "Psicko."
Camera rental and infirmary services FREE.

line 819:  From anywhere to anywhere,
in New York City there's no limousine service
that's precisely, totally, exactly like the
fabulous Checker Limo Co.
Nearly-instantaneous service from our fleet of
radio-dispatched cars.
Floors disinfected regularly!
Call 552-4668, anytime.

line 829:  On your next trip, try TWAL, The Women's Airline.
All female crew, all male flight attendants.
Extra protection down the center of the plane,
where women need it most.
Remember our slogan:
"Fly TWAL... The Darn Thing Has Wings!"

line 837:  Phil's Pharmacueticals is open 24-hours
for all your drug needs.
53 varieties of addictive over-the-counter chemicals
flown in fresh daily.
Ask about our Spring Break specials.
We do not condone illegal drug use.
However, bulk discounts on Valium clones are
available this month only!

line 862:  the sign

line 869:  While you're here in Los Angeles,
be sure to visit wonderful "Wizneyland."
Your children will be terrified when they see their
favorite cartoon characters running up to them in
enormous grinning overstuffed costumes...
horrified when they ride through the
bowel-loosening haunted house!
Wizneyland!
It's a million trips to the bathroom!!

line 880:  It's Carefree Living in the Eurasian Style
in new Exorbitania Townhouses.
Only 1/2 block from Central Park, Broadway,
Madison Square Garden, Statue of Liberty, UN Building,
World Trade Center, Automat.
One-bedrooms start at $10,000,000.
Security locks, no pets.
And no vacancies to the likes of you, either, buddy!

line 890:  Where does the Moral Majority turn to
promote censorship and creeping Facism?
"Slant," the Holier-Than-Thou Newsweekly.
No liberal pandering, no pinko editorial cartoons,
no objective journalism...
just good ol' fashioned Fundamentalism.
Printed on 100% recycled environmentalists.

line 899:  tttRIOT GEAR! 
 
Explosives, weapons, armor.
Brass knuckles, nunchuks, pipe bombs, switchblades,
guns, bazookas, tanks, stealth bombers
(24-hours notice, please).
Senior citizen discounts.

line 927:  the ashtray

line 933:  You appreciate the historical accuracy of
an ashtray simulator in public places.

line 938:  You want to put your butt in the ashtray?

line 1006:  the slot machine

line 1021:  the slot machine

line 1033:  Slot machines!
You haven't played the slots since "Leisure Suit Larry 1:
In the Land of the Lounge Lizards."
Now available in a all-new, 256-color version with
enhanced graphics, music and sound effects!!

line 1059:  the slot machine

line 1081:  the slot machine

line 1102:  the slot machine

line 1169:  You try to pull the handle of the slot machine
but since you didn't insert a quarter first,
nothing happens.

line 1202:  You reach into the slot machine's coin bin and grab
the one measly coin that lies there.









270.SC 
------

line 74:  You are inside the AeroDork Airline waiting room and
former ticket counter.
A security camera peers at you from the far wall.

line 204:  Buffi

line 205:  Muffi

line 230:  Tracie

line 231:  Stacie

line 257:  Cherri

line 258:  Barri

line 284:  Dixie

line 285:  Trixie

line 326:  You are inside the %s AeroDork Terminal's waiting room (and
former ticket counter).
A security camera peers at you from the far wall.
AeroDork is famous for building exactly the same terminal
in every city they serve (except Muncie, Indiana--that's
where they hide your lost luggage!.

line 334:  Los Angeles

line 337:  New York

line 340:  Atlantic City

line 343:  Miami

line 410:  
;** blondeX %d
;** blondeLoop %d
;** redHeadX %d
;** redHeadLoop %d 

line 445:  the charity collection canister

line 458:  You already took all the money from those
poor little kids!

line 460:  (You big bully!)

line 467:  Directly beneath the security camera is a
charity cannister containing many pennies, nickels and dimes,
but only one quarter.

line 472:  Directly beneath the security camera is a
charity cannister containing many pennies, nickels and dimes,
but no more quarters.

line 482:  You are much too frugal to ever part with
a hard-found quarter!

line 487:   (TIGHT-ASS!) 

line 513:  the plant

line 519:  Aerodork has spared no expense to decorate
this fabulous gateway.

line 539:  the chairs

line 545:  Evidently Aerodork Airline's automated
flight handling is efficient -- there's not
one person waiting in this waiting room.

line 550:  Sit? Now? When your plane is leaving in a
matter of seconds?

line 570:  the ashtray

line 577:  You appreciate the historical accuracy of
an ashtray simulator in public places.

line 583:  What are you expecting? A disco admission card?

line 585:  You want to put your butt in the ashtray?

line 606:  the sign

line 613:  The sign over the door reads,
"Chartreuse Carpet V.I.P. Lounge."

line 631:  the ticket counter

line 637:  This counter was once staffed by highly
trained, courteous young men and women.

line 639:  (Of course, that was when this area was
part of the frozen yogurt concession!)

line 643:  A few days ago, you could have bought a ticket here.
But now %s and %s,
AeroDork's last remaining employees,
have nothing to do but stand around and gossip.

line 650:  (So, in essence, not that much has changed!)

line 653:  You must have just missed them.
Perhaps you should talk to one of the girls,
instead of to the ticket counter!

line 674:  It's %s, AeroDork's blonde bombshell.
Once she was a highly motivated employee.
Once she was a highly trained professional.
Once she never forgot to ask,
"Didya wan'sum fries wit' dat?"

line 685:  %s was once a ticket agent here.
Now her only responsibility is to the few remaining employees:
she fires them!

line 693:  "Excuse me, Miss. Could you help me?"

line 694:  "Buddy, I don't think ANYONE could help you!"
she replies sarcastically.

line 699:  "Get that away from me, dork!" shouts %s.
"Anything YOU have, I don't want!"

line 722:  It's %s. Once she was AeroDork's red-headed,
red-blooded, red-hot, temptress of the flight path.

line 727:  Now she's lucky if she even sees a pilot.

line 730:  "Excuse me, Clerk," you cry,
"Could I buy a ticket here?"

line 732:  "Nope," she retorts with a snap of her gum,
"we're all out. Try our ATM machine outside, ok?"

line 736:  "Excuse me, Miss. Could you help me?"

line 737:  "Fella, I ain't interested in anyone that can't
support me in the style to which I've grown to,"
she says, interrupting your clever inquiry.
"And nobody I know is accustomed to a style like yours!"

line 744:  "Get that away from me, dork!" shouts %s.
"Anything YOU have, I don't want!"

line 776:  There goes your chance for a "Larry's Kids" telethon!

line 909:  the door

line 925:  This door leads to the exclusive
AeroDork Airline V.I.P. Chartreuse Carpet Lounge.

line 929:  You can't open this door.
It's secured from within.
If only you had some form of identification to prove
you really belong inside.

line 935:  "Hello!," you shout. "Is there anyone inside?"

line 936:  (You hear no response.)

line 953:  the sign

line 961:  While you're here in Los Angeles,
be sure to visit wonderful "Wizneyland."
Your children will be terrified when they see their
favorite cartoon characters running up to them in
enormous grinning overstuffed costumes...
horrified when they ride through the
bowel-loosening haunted house!
Wizneyland!
It's a million trips to the bathroom!!

line 972:  It's Carefree Living in the Eurasian Style
in new Exorbitania Townhouses.
Only 1/2 block from Central Park, Broadway,
Madison Square Garden, Statue of Liberty, UN Building,
World Trade Center, Automat.
One-bedrooms start at $10,000,000.
Security locks, no pets.
And no vacancies to the likes of you, either, buddy!

line 982:  Where does the Moral Majority turn to
promote censorship and creeping Facism?
"Slant," the Holier-Than-Thou Newsweekly.
No liberal pandering, no pinko editorial cartoons,
no objective journalism...
just good ol' fashioned Fundamentalism.
Printed on 100% recycled environmentalists.

line 991:  tttRIOT GEAR! 
 
Explosives, weapons, armor.
Brass knuckles, nunchuks, pipe bombs, switchblades,
guns, bazookas, tanks, stealth bombers
(24-hours notice, please).
Senior citizen discounts.

line 1013:  the sign

line 1021:  The Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce
welcomes YOU to Los Angeles!
See Movie Stars' homes!
See the Beverly Hills Wax Museum!
See your favorite TV shows actually being taped
for future broadcast!
Some culture also available; call for details.

line 1030:  Gay? Lesbian? Divorced? Single? Widowed? Depressed?
Sorry, but the `Blecchnaven Center' offers weekly
seminars for happy, straight couples only.

line 1036:  For the biggest ride you've ever had,
give us a call right now.
Let us expose your blatant consumerist backside.
"Tramp Limo Service, 553-4468"

line 1042:  Luxury Accomodations are merely a brick's throw
away at the Miami Fountainblooey Hotel.
28-story shatterproof glass atrium,
fire-resistant deluxe suites.
Every Thursday night is Singles Night
at "The Castro Room."
Valet parking, coat check, firearms rack.

line 1064:  the sign

line 1072:  It's the second-most fun you've had getting wet!
Visit MARINELAND,   U. S. A.!
See authentic U. S. Marines swimming, playing,
doing tricks.
Watch Porca, `The Killer Marine,'
leap out of the water at feeding time for fishsticks!

line 1080:  Now through September 31st at
Madison's Glare Garden!
Monster Trucks! Funny Cars!
Stupid Motorcycles! Mutant Mopeds!
We've turned the floor of the coliseum
into a giant mud bog!
See audience members with necks twice
as thick as their heads!
Call Ticket-O-Rama for details.

line 1091:  `Honest' Noah's Check-Cashing Service.
The fastest way to get money when you've gambled
away all your cash.
Sorry, no second-party checks, third-party checks,
bank checks, personal checks, out-of-state Czechs,
wheat checks, rice checks.
Plenty of corn checks!

line 1100:  "Wet 'n Watery Wild Whooshing World!"
Home of the "PsychoKiller Two-mile Waterslide."
Speed downhill at 75 miles an hour with nothing to
protect you but a thin slice of cheap foam rubber and
your bathing suit (assuming it stays on).
You must be under 90 to ride.
"It was soooooooo scary!
Luckily, at 75 miles an hour,
who can tell you're peeing?"
says Barry Smith, of East Miami.

line 1125:  the sign

line 1133:  How do busy executives stay on
top of world finance?
"Businessmen's Financial Hourly," of course.
All the financial news you need,
delivered to your home or office every hour on the hour,
all day, all night.
Latest markets.
Millions of pages a year of the information YOU need
every minute to keep your business from
sinking like a rock.

line 1145:  The NYC Ballet Company's 2015th production of
"Sleeping Beauty" opens August 15th.
The NYC Times called it,
"A classic... never gets all that boring,
even though you've seen it several hundred times."
Opening September 20:
the 2016th production of "Sleeping Beauty."
Call The Ticketster for details.

line 1155:  Gambleholic's Anonymous.
Kick the gambling habit!
We'll lay you 2 to 1 we can clean up even
the worst gambling problem.
Meetings held on best 2 out of 3 Thursdays each month.
Ex-major league baseball players admitted FREE!

line 1164:  "Misplace" something?
"Lose" something important?
"Can't find" that important documentation?
Let us help.
We're "Just Green Cards"
and we're here to help any alien who has
"lost" their card!
Just call me, Carlos, at 554-1272!
You'll get your "replacement" immediately.
And remember: "We deliver!!"

line 1194:  the security camera

line 1232:  Hey! You're smudging the lens!

line 1235:  You have the distinct feeling that someone is
watching you.

line 1244:  While the boarding pass proves you have a flight
on this airline, it doesn't prove you have enough class
to be admitted to the exclusive AeroDork Chartreuse
Carpet V.I.P. lounge.









280.SC 
------

line 70:  This end of the lobby is distinguished only by
a bank of pay telephones against the far wall.

line 183:  Buffi

line 184:  Muffi

line 224:  Tracie

line 225:  Stacie

line 280:  Cherri

line 281:  Barri

line 334:  Dixie

line 335:  Trixie

line 406:  This end of the %s AeroDork Terminal lobby is distinguished
only by a bank of pay telephones against the far wall.
You feel AeroDork carries this "identical terminals"
bit a little too far!

line 412:  Los Angeles

line 415:  New York

line 418:  Atlantic City

line 421:  Miami

line 466:  Darn. Their line is busy.

line 481:  Darn. Their line is busy.

line 498:  Darn. Their line is busy.

line 513:  Darn. Their line is busy.

line 519:  You change your mind and hang up the phone.

line 523:  You presume you must have dialed a wrong number.

line 599:  the lost and found department

line 605:  This was once Aerodork's proud department of lost
luggage mishandling.
Since those big cutbacks, it's never been the same!

line 610:  You have no lost luggage to claim.
Of course, if you did it wouldn't matter anyway,
as there are no workers here to help you.

line 627:  the plant

line 632:  Aerodork has spared no expense to decorate
this fabulous gateway.

line 650:  the plant

line 655:  Aerodork has spared no expense to decorate
this fabulous gateway.

line 673:  the post

line 678:  Why would such a modern structure require
a post so near a corner?

line 682:  Feeling that familiar sense of "adventure game
frustration," you long to bang your head against that post
in the corner, but refuse to give up!

line 687:  "You know, I once had a girl friend that
reminds me of talking to you," you say to the post.

line 707:  the ashtray

line 714:  You appreciate the historical accuracy of
an ashtray simulator in public places.

line 720:  What did you expect? A disco admission card?

line 722:  You want to put your butt in the ashtray?

line 744:  the counter

line 749:  Once upon a time this ticket counter sold tickets.
Now it provides a resting place for the last
remaining AeroDork employees, %s and %s.

line 757:  A few days ago, you could have bought a ticket
here. But now %s and %s have nothing to do
but stand around.

line 763:  (So really, not that much has changed!)

line 766:  You must have just missed them.
Perhaps you should click on one of the girls,
instead of on the ticket counter!

line 787:  the sofa

line 793:  Evidently Aerodork Airline's automated
flight handling is efficient -- there's not
one person waiting in this waiting room.

line 798:  Sit? Now? When your plane is leaving in a
matter of seconds?

line 819:  It's %s, AeroDork's blonde bombshell.
Once she was a highly motivated employee.
Once she was a highly trained professional.
Once she never forgot to ask,
"Didya wan'sum fries wit' dat?"

line 829:  %s was once a ticket agent here.
Now her only responsibility is to the few remaining employees:
she fires them!

line 837:  "Excuse me, Miss. Could you help me?"

line 838:  "Buddy, I don't think ANYONE could help you!"
she replies sarcastically.

line 843:  "Get that away from me, dork!" shouts %s.
"Anything YOU have, I don't want!"

line 867:  It's %s. Once she was AeroDork's red-headed,
red-blooded, red-hot, temptress of the flight path.

line 872:  Now she's lucky if she even sees a pilot.

line 875:  "Excuse me, Clerk," you cry,
"Could I buy a ticket here?"

line 877:  "Nope," she retorts with a snap of her gum,
"we're all out. Try our ATM machine outside, ok?"

line 881:  "Excuse me, Miss. Could you help me?"

line 882:  "Fella, I ain't interested in anyone that can't
support me in the style to which I've grown accustomed to,"
she says, interrupting your clever inquiry.
"And nobody I know is accustomed to a style like yours!"

line 889:  "Get that away from me, dork!" shouts %s.
"Anything YOU have, I don't want!"

line 1005:  the pay phone

line 1019:  Finally, a working telephone!

line 1023:  You insert a quarter into the only working pay
telephone.

line 1027:  These telephones require a quarter.
If you had a quarter, you could just stick it in the
telephone and it would work.

line 1037:  These telephones only accept quarters.

line 1041:  These telephones require a quarter.
If you had a quarter, you could just stick it in the
telephone and it would work.

line 1060:  the pay phone

line 1074:  the phone

line 1086:  the phone

line 1098:  the phone

line 1110:  the phone

line 1123:  the pay phone

line 1128:  This pay phone is broken.

line 1131:  You can't dial this telephone. It's broken.

line 1135:  Save your quarter. This pay phone is broken.

line 1137:  These telephones only accept quarters.

line 1161:  the sign

line 1170:  How do busy executives stay on
top of world finance?
"Businessmen's Financial Hourly," of course.
All the financial news you need,
delivered to your home or office every hour on the hour,
all day, all night.
Latest markets.
Millions of pages a year of the information YOU need
every minute to keep your business from
sinking like a rock.

line 1182:  The NYC Ballet Company's 2015th production of
"Sleeping Beauty" opens August 15th.
The NYC Times called it,
"A classic... never gets all that boring,
even though you've seen it several hundred times."
Opening September 20:
the 2016th production of "Sleeping Beauty."
Call The Ticketster for details.

line 1192:  Gambleholic's Anonymous.
Kick the gambling habit!
We'll lay you 2 to 1 we can clean up even
the worst gambling problem.
Meetings held on best 2 out of 3 Thursdays each month.
Ex-major league baseball players admitted FREE!

line 1200:  "Misplace" something?
"Lose" something important?
"Can't find" that important documentation?
Let us help.
We're "Just Green Cards"
and we're here to help any alien who has
"lost" their card!
Just call me, Carlos, at 554-1272!
You'll get your "replacement" immediately.
And remember: "We deliver!!"

line 1231:  the sign

line 1241:  Suffering from copy machine breakdown?
Tired of messy toner bottles?
Sick of paper cartridges and service calls?
Ready to rip the guts out of your piece-of-crap,
document-mangling Shmearox copier?
Call us.
We're ACME Carbon Paper.

line 1250:  We want your old jewelry. 
Rings, chains, earrings, brooches. 
No Money Paid. 
 
"Stick 'em Up Pawn Shop" 
1525 Park Avenue West

line 1260:  Calling all married men!
Entertain women discreetly and privately in
our new "Stayfree Bachelor Pads."
Exclusive panel slides into place whenever
your wife knocks on the front door.
Vibrating beds, imitation leopard-skin rugs,
fake fireplaces.
Contact Escobar Enterprises Estates today!

line 1270:  Welcome to Miami.
Rent a limo for your stay.
North Beach Limousine Rentals.
Cheap.
No client too old!
554-8544

line 1300:  the sign

line 1309:  When the sharpest image counts,
count on Canonan camcorders.
The official camcorder of the Amateur Cinematographer's
Committee on Los Angeles Police Conduct.
"I love it!
I'm gonna get one when I get these bandages off!"
says a 
Mr. R. King of Los Angeles, California."

line 1320:  Dr. Seymour Weiners of the Weiners Clinic says,
"Chronic fatigue? Prostate problems? Hemorrhoids?
Kidney stones? Liver spots? Osteoporosis? Arthritis?
Psoriasis? Cataracts? Incontinence? Allergies?
Hernia? Yecch! Go somewhere else, okay?"

line 1327:  New Jersey Associated Faux Health Clubs.
Slim down the fast, easy way.
No weight equipment, no exercycles, no treadmills.
One aging anorexic celebrity says,
"Dieting doesn't give you a great body.
But having your fat sucked out with a teeny
little vacuum cleaner sure does!"
Come by today.

line 1337:  This man is hanging in midair... by his gums!
Is he crazy?
Yes, crazy about "Krazy Dentu-Poxy."
Guaranteed to keep dentures from wiggling,
slipping or falling out for the rest of your life.
Bonds denture material to flesh permanently in seconds.
Eat corn-on-the-cob, apples, rock candy, and
furnace clinkers just like you used to.

line 1368:  the sign

line 1377:  tttBIG-R'StCREDIT 
 
Need credit?
Need a loan?
Or just want to talk to someone who really understands
what "deep in debt" really means?
Call Roger H at Big R's Credit Carnival!
Applications accepted over the phone.
$10.00 non-refundable service charge might even
be tax deductible!

line 1389:  The Mayor's Office is pleased to announce the
25th Annual "Why I Love New York Even Though You Take
Your Life In Your Hands Every Time You Open Your Front
Door and Who Can Afford To Live Here Anymore Anyway?"
Songwriting Contest.
Forms available at City Hall.

line 1397:  Now through December at the Conventional Center:
"An Evening With Bobby Vinton."
New Jersey Herald says,
"Bobby sings all his hits,
including `Blue Velvet,'
`Red Roses For A Blue Lady,'
`Blue Roses For A Red Lady,'
`You Only Look Blue When You're Standing Next To
All Those Red Roses,'
and `Blue Ladies Plus Red Roses Equals Purple Velvet.'
A must see!"
Call TicketMonster for details.

line 1411:  Jiffy-Pace Lube-and-Battery service.
We'll have your pacemaker in and out within 15 minutes
or your money back!
Free valve check.
(We use only Catatonic State Motor Oil.)

line 1441:  the telephone directory

line 1450:  There are two local telephone directories hanging
from the pay telephones.

line 1454:  Opening the plastic telephone directory covers,
you notice someone has thoughtfully ripped out all the pages
to prevent needless alphabetical confusion on your part!

line 1457:  Now how will you dial the right number?

line 1475:  the telephone directory

line 1560:  heCalled

line 1569:  "Hello, Checker Limo.
Wearya? Weardjawannago?"

line 1574:  "Uh, my name is Larry; Larry Laffer," you say,
"What was the question again?"

line 1579:  "Waddaya deff? Wearya? Weardjawannago?"

line 1583:  "Oh, I'm at the airport. At the AeroDork Terminal."

line 1587:  "Weardjawannago?"

line 1591:  "Oh, I guess I'd like to go downtown."

line 1595:  "Gotcha. Mee'cha ou'side."

line 1599:  (And he hangs up the phone.)

line 1610:  "Good afternoon, and welcome to lovely Miami,"
a pleasant voice answers the telephone.
"How may North Beach Limousine Service assist you today?"

line 1617:  "Hello. My name is Larry; Larry Laffer," you say,
"I'm at the AeroDork Terminal at the airport."

line 1622:  "Very well, Sir. And how will you be paying
today?"

line 1627:  "Uh, would you take an AeroDork Gold Card?" you say.

line 1631:  "Ahhh, but of course, sir!
Your limousine will be outside in a few seconds!"

line 1633:  He concludes, "And thank you for thinking of us!"

line 1638:  (And he hangs up the phone.)

line 1649:  "Good day. Tramp Limousine at your service."

line 1653:  "Good day, Mr. Tramp," you presume, mistakenly.
"I'm at the airport, and require transportation to the city."

line 1658:  "Yes sir!" he replies,
"I'll send one of my best girls right over!"

line 1663:  (And he hangs up the phone.)

line 1674:  "`JesGreeenCars.'
Si habla Espanol y Eeengleesh.
Haf ju `lost jour carrrd?'"

line 1680:  "Hello, I'm looking for a limousine to take me from the
airport into town, I guess."

line 1685:  "Ho-kay. Aeropuerto? Ho-kay.
Wee deeleefer jur carrrd!
On dee trash can.
Outside de aeropuerto.
Ju leeef a-ten-dousand pesos outside de aeropuerto.
On dee trash can.
No problemo!"

line 1695:  (And he hangs up the phone.)

line 1701:  "Please deposit seventy-five cents for the
next three minutes."

line 1706:  "Since you don't have three quarters, you
decide not to call %s."

line 1709:  Miami

line 1710:  New York City

line 1711:  Atlantic City

line 1712:  Miami

line 1713:  Miami









290.SC 
------

line 66:  All your life you assumed those snooty, private
airport waiting rooms were filled with luxurious
appointments.

line 163:  All your life you assumed those snooty, private
airport waiting rooms were filled with luxurious appointments.
Once again, you were wrong!
In fact, you'd swear that AeroDork installs that same folding 
chair in every terminal in every city they serve!

line 170:  Los Angeles

line 173:  New York

line 176:  Atlantic City

line 179:  Miami

line 209:  A voice comes over the public address system,
"AeroDork Airlines is proud to announce the departure
of its Chartreuse Service to msdffft, wqpaffw,
and paovnnq."

line 213:  Hmm. That speaker is none too clear.

line 240:  the chair

line 246:  How thoughtful! Aerodork has provided a
comfortable metal folding chair for your
sitting convenience!

line 268:  the jetway door

line 275:  The door to the jetway is firmly locked,
and without protrusions of any kind.

line 279:  You can only open this door by using the
ABM machine to the right.

line 295:  the boarding sign

line 311:  The Boarding Pass sign is currently flashing.
Are you going to miss the plane?

line 314:  It appears to be a sign.

line 368:  the Automatic Boarding Pass Machine

line 375:  Your AeroDork Gold Card will only work
in the ATM machine outside the airport.

line 385:  You're a little early.
That flight isn't due to board for another few
minutes.

line 396:  Near the far door is one of Aerodork Airline's
exclusive "ABM" machines.

line 398:  ABM is an acronym for "Automatic Boarding Pass Machine."
So far, Aerodork is the only airline to have them.

line 400:  (You expect it to remain that way!)

line 419:  the coffee pot

line 427:  It's just another example of Aerodork's
extravagant attitude towards its customers.
Freshly brewed coffee just for you!

line 432:  YUCK! The pot has boiled dry! Nothing remains
but the stench of burned coffee.

line 452:  the coffee cabinet

line 458:  The cabinet holds up the coffee maker.

line 461:  There's nothing in the cabinet that you need.

line 480:  the light fixture

line 486:  Wouldn't you think the local transportation
authorities would worry about exposed wiring?

line 490:  Right! Of course you can reach the ceiling in here!

line 509:  the lovely painting

line 510:  You've always admired paintings on velvet!

line 516:  There's nothing hidden behind the painting.

line 535:  the beautiful painting

line 536:  The last time you saw art this nice, you
were in Tijuana.

line 543:  There's nothing hidden behind the painting.

line 676:  Welcome to %s!

line 679:  Los Angeles, cheater

line 682:  New York

line 685:  Atlantic City

line 688:  Miami

line 698:  New York

line 701:  Miami

line 704:  Atlantic City

line 707:  Los Angeles

line 710:  This airport looks just like the one in %s!

line 745:  Your boarding pass is sucked...

line 746:  ...into the slot of the ABM!









295.SC 
------

line 156:  "HIP, HIP,"

line 169:  "HURRAY!!"

line 187:  What's this?
The now all-too-expected Charteuse Carpet Lounge is filled 
with people, all here to celebrate the country's newest hero 
-- Larry; 
Larry Laffer!

line 200:  "It's him!"

line 214:  "It's Larry!"

line 226:  "It's Larry Laffer!"

line 235:  "HUZZAH!!"

line 244:  "HUZZAH!!"

line 253:  "HIP, HIP,"

line 262:  "HURRAY!!"

line 276:  "So tell us, Mr. Laffer," asks a reporter,
"how does it feel to save the lives of hundreds of people?"

line 286:  Another reporter chimes in,
"Where did you learn to fly a commercial airliner?"

line 296:  "What is the secret of your amazing rescue 
technique?" asks a third.

line 306:  "And will you earn extra Frequent Flyer credits?"

line 315:  Before you can answer any questions,
you hear a telephone ring.

line 325:  "Mr. Laffer! There's a telephone call for you!"

line 334:  "For me?" you wonder, "no one knows I'm here."

line 345:  "Here, take the phone,"
says the reporter.
"It's the President of the United States!"

line 383:  Well, Larry, things are finally working out for you!
Who would have ever thought you'd get a personal invitation
from the President of the United States to attend a 
big State Dinner -- especially one in your honor!

line 410:  "Er, hello?"

line 417:  "Hello, who is this?" asks the voice on
the phone.

line 425:  "My name is Larry; Larry Laffer," you reply.

line 432:  "Well, Mr. Lafner, this is the President of the
United States!"

line 442:  "I just wanted to telephone to express the
appreciation of this great nation to you,
Larry Lasner, for the heroic deed you just accomplished!"

line 453:  "(And, of course, take this opportunity to up
my approval rating another few points.
You know, it never hurts to be seen worldwide on CNN 
under these circumstances!)"

line 465:  "Eh, um, anyway, what I mean is," 
he says, getting back on track, "You probably didn't know, 
but the Vice-President's Mommy was on that airplane you
just saved."

line 477:  "(By the way, he's still gaining the approval of the
great American people; yes, gaining every month, 
little by little, getting better and better...)"

line 488:  "Ah, in any case, he's so grateful that he wants me
to host a big dinner in your honor here at the White House.
He would have called you himself, but it's long distance."

line 499:  "So, Lafter, do you think you could drop by the
White House, oh, say, Tuesday next week for one of those
typical, Big National Hero Of The Week Dinners?"

line 511:  You are astonished. "But, of course, sir,"
you reply, "I'll be there!"

line 519:  "Do I have to bring a date?" you wonder.

line 526:  But to the President you say,
"I really look forward to meeting you and the First Lady!"

line 534:  "Oh, sorry, Lasser," he says, 
"I'll be too busy fish, er, uh, MEETing with some
important ambassadors or something, to attend.
But I promise to send the Vice-President instead."

line 546:  "Nice talking to you, Licker," he concludes.
"Good job!"

line 556:  "And, good bye."

line 562:  "(Click.)"

line 569:  "Good bye to you, Mr. Pres... oh, you've hung up."

line 831:  Mr. President









310.SC 
------

line 108:  To you, all airports look alike (although the
landscaping does vary slightly).

line 593:  the sky

line 594:  Hills stretch off into the distance.

line 608:  the trees

line 609:  This airport is rife with trees.

line 624:  the tree

line 625:  This airport is rife with trees.

line 639:  the trees

line 640:  This airport is rife with trees.

line 655:  the airplane

line 656:  You hope you don't have to wait for that airplane to
take off.

line 671:  the airplane

line 689:  the tower

line 690:  The control tower is staffed with non-union air traffic
controllers.

line 703:  There's the runway, Larry! Steady now.
Bring 'er in carefully! You're "coming in" too fast!

line 736:  "YEOW!" you scream!

line 738:  You

line 764:  Whew! That was close.
You just barely "pulled out" in time!

line 771:  You circle around 180 degrees to try again.

line 791:  "OH, NO!!" you scream!

line 793:  You

line 829:  Larry! You've got to "keep it up" longer!

line 835:  You circle around 180 degrees to try again.

line 855:  "ARRRGGGGGHHH!!" you scream!

line 857:  You

line 890:  Next time, try it with both hands on your "yoke!"

line 894:  You circle around 180 degrees to try again.

line 898:  "This is it," you think,
"I've got to make it this time!"

line 901:  You

line 937:  You did it, Larry!
You saved an entire airliner filled with innocent people.
Surely, you'll finally gain the respect you deserve.

line 948:  But how stupid were those airport designers!
They built a runway 100 feet long...

line 950:  ...and TWO MILES wide!

line 1130:  Your visit to the East Coast finished,
your airplane heads back to Los Angeles.









320.SC 
------

line 111:  Enter dream to debug:

line 113:  Dream of Athens

line 115:  Wake up from Athens

line 117:  Dream of Venice

line 119:  Wake up from Venice

line 121:  Dream of Taj Mahal

line 123:  Wake up from Taj Mahal

line 125:  Dream of Casablanca

line 234:  For the first game in your life,
you are traveling First Class.
You feel certain you could easily grow accustomed to such
luxury.
You kick back in the leather seat, relax, and find yourself
growing rather sleepy.

line 241:  In fact, you feel too sleepy to even read the
stupid "AeroDork In-Flight Magazine" in the seatback
pocket in front of you.

line 247:  You start to order a drink, but instead you fall asleep.

line 250:  There's nothing to do here in First Class--they have
people to do things for you!

line 436:  your head

line 442:  You've hated airplane travel ever since
"Leisure Suit Larry 2: Looking for Love
(in Several Wrong Places)."

line 445:  (Another fine Al Lowe game.)

line 448:  You briefly consider talking to yourself but then
realize you already know what you were going to say!

line 452:  You tighten your seat belt and wish this flight were
over.

line 454:  (Perhaps on this flight,
you'll be able to get a little shut-eye.)

line 473:  the tray

line 482:  This tray sometimes holds your food.

line 485:  You consider eating some of that delicious airline
food, but realize you are getting sleepy.

line 489:  You could fold up the tray table but then you'd have
no place to rest your stomach!

line 507:  your arm

line 508:  You've always liked this arm.

line 520:  your arm

line 521:  You've always liked this arm.

line 532:  your body

line 538:  What a body!

line 539:  (You need!)

line 557:  the cloud

line 577:  Clouds drift lazily by outside your window,
at about 650 miles per hour!

line 581:  You reach over and leave your fingerprints on the window,
thus ruining the next amateur photographer's chances of
getting a clear picture of the ground.

line 746:  the airline magazine

line 752:  There's a copy of AeroDork Airlines' complimentary
magazine, "Fly the Dorky Skies."

line 759:  You take the magazine because you never know when
you might be having so much fun that you need something
boring to read just to calm down.

line 1071:  During our absence,
your dream of Passionate Patti's Parthenon performance
progressed.
The concert, a huge success, is now over;
the critics have acclaimed her technique, interpretation,
and mature musicianship;
her promoter is arranging a year-old tour;
and the two of you take this opportunity to celebrate....

line 1206:  You awaken with a start to hear the stewardess say...

line 1213:  "Why, Mr. Laffer! Is there a problem with your nuts?"

line 1215:  The Stewardess

line 1249:  A voice crackles through the intercom speaker
above your head,
"Please tighten your seatbelts and return your tray tables
to their fully upright and locked position.
We'll be landing momentarily.

line 1302:  During our absence,
your dream of you and Passionate Patti has progressed.
You snuggle up together,
drifting dreamily through the moonlit canals of Venice,
the songs of other gondoliers wafting softly across the
waters.
Suddenly your gondola springs a most inopportune leak....

line 1427:  Awakening from your dream,
you realize you just filled your lap with
complimentary beverage!

line 1438:  A voice crackles through the intercom speaker
above your head,
"Please tighten your seatbelts and return your tray tables
to their fully upright and locked position.
We'll be landing momentarily.

line 1530:  In your dream, you are watching Passionate Patti perform
a rock concert before the reflecting pool of the Taj Mahal!
What a great musician!
What a romantic setting!
What a gorgeous babe!!

line 1611:  During our absence, your dream of Passionate Patti's
Taj Mahal concert has progressed.
Late at night, the gig over,
the amps and drums packed in the road cases,
it's now time for just the two of you,
relaxing together on a couple of overstuffed cushions,
emotionally drained.
To calm herself,
and prepare you for the evening ahead,
Patti plays a little selection on her oboe....

line 1659:  You soon realize the snake is not the only thing Patti
has charmed!

line 1772:  A voice crackles through the intercom speaker
above your head,
"Please tighten your seatbelts and return your tray tables
to their fully upright and locked position.
We'll be landing momentarily.

line 1779:  You hope none of the other passengers notices that
your tray table is already up!

line 1847:  Ah, this is the life!
In your dream, you are the handsome gondolier,
poling through the canals of Venice with
your lone lovely female customer: Passionate Patti!
Everything is going well until...

line 1876:  ...you stick it in too deeply.

line 1877:  (An experience wholly unfamiliar to you!)

line 1939:  Deciding to seize the moment,
you wriggle down beside your Patti,
relying on the subtle canal currents to propel you
through your night of love...

line 1976:  the magazine

line 2028:  "It's not hard to see, Patti,
the problems of two little people 
don't amount to a hill of beans
in this crazy mixed-up world..."

line 2040:  "Larry, in all the scenes,
in all the games, in all the world...
you had to walk into mine!"

line 2051:  "Remember Larry:
we'll always have Nontoonyt!"

line 2061:  "Here's looking at you, kid!"

line 2094:  Leisure Suit Bogie

line 2119:  Ingrid Patti









380.SC 
------

line 135:  "Well, Patti,
I'm glad to see you made it back safely.
I told you there was nothing to worry about!"

line 146:  "You were right, Inspector Desmond.
But for a while there, I was really stumped!"

line 156:  "Oh, you did fine!
Now let's go over what you discovered through
your investigations."

line 167:  "Let's begin with Baltimore and des Rever
Records.
What happened?"

line 183:  "It was easy.
I got past that guard in the Shill Building Lobby
just by showing him the DataMan05
into which I had inserted Reverse Biaz' cartridge."

line 192:  "It was easy.
I got past that guard in the Shill Building Lobby
just by showing him the Reverse Biaz fax."

line 200:  "It was easy.
I got past that guard in the Shill Building Lobby
just by finding Reverse Biaz' office in the building
directory."

line 209:  "I had real trouble there, Inspector.
I never could figure out any way to get past that
guard in the Shill Building Lobby."

line 225:  "Good work, Patti.
But what happened after you were upstairs?
Did you learn anything about des Rever or Biaz?"

line 233:  "Oh, no. That's too bad.
I thought Reverse Biaz was a major player.
He might have been the key to breaking this case."

line 249:  "While upstairs in des Rever's outer office,
I found a gold record which I think might contain some
valuable evidence.
Here, take it!"

line 258:  "I couldn't find anything interesting
in des Rever's outer office."

line 270:  "I discovered the gold record could
actually be played on a stereo system there.
It sounded fine."

line 282:  "But when I played the gold record
in reverse at 33-1/3, I heard a strange message.
It should be proof positive!"

line 299:  "Good going, Patti.
Did you make the recording session I booked for you?"

line 307:  "Actually, the studio session went pretty
well, Boss.
After a couple of tries, I started really cookin'!"

line 314:  "I'm sorry, but I just couldn't,
Inspector."

line 327:  "You'll loved this, Boss!
I just used an old technique with which I'm quite
familiar!
I grabbed some champagne from my limo and
got Reverse drunk!
So drunk, in fact, he gave me this cassette tape
to impress me."

line 340:  "Gosh, Boss.
I just used an old technique with which I'm quite
familiar!
Here's the tape I, uh, `talked' him out of!"

line 350:  "Here's the tape I, uh,
`talked' him out of!"

line 359:  "Too bad, Patti.
I wish you could have found something there."

line 371:  "You really have a way with men, Patti!"
he laughs.
"Our agents could have never `obtained'
evidence like you did."

line 386:  "So did you discover
anything at K-RAP radio?"

line 394:  "Well, I sneaked into John Krapper's
office just as the receptionist came back from her break."

line 400:  "Sorry, Boss, but I couldn't even
get past the K-RAP lobby!
They really had tight security!"

line 413:  "Good job, Patti.
Nice job of sleuthing!"

line 420:  "It's too bad you didn't get further
into the K-RAP building, Patti.
I think P. C. Hammer might well be crucial to this problem."

line 434:  "I searched John Krapper's desk and
discovered a folder filled with what looked like
incriminating evidence to me!"

line 442:  "I assumed he'd miss the folder if I stole it,
so I used his photocopier to make copies of it.
Here they are!"

line 451:  "Way to go, Patti. Nice work."

line 460:  "And, besides that,
I overheard what `2 Live 2 Screw' thought were private
conversations.
They didn't realize they were meeting in a room with
an open microphone!"

line 470:  "Although I nearly got trapped by P. C. Hammer,
I recorded `2 Live 2 Screw' on a reel-to-reel tape."

line 478:  "Great!
Patti, you have proven yourself the right woman for the
job!"

line 486:  "Good, Patti. May I have the tape?"

line 494:  "Uh, well, Inspector,
I must confess: I left it on the tape recorder
in the K-RAP control room.
I'm sorry."

line 507:  "Oh, that's all right, Patti.
Mistakes happen; even to super-spies!"

line 529:  "Patti, I don't know if this is an
appropriate time, but I must tell you:
I find myself strongly attracted to you."

line 536:  "Patti, you've done a wonderful job!
I'm so proud of you!"

line 545:  "You have such wonderful big, uh, er, eyes!
Even though you weren't much help as a spy,
I hoped you might feel something for me, too.
So, here's a little favor."

line 562:  "I have a small souvenir for you, Patti--a little
something for you to remember your experiences as
an F.B.I. agent."

line 572:  "I want you to have the exploding bra--and every time
you wear it, think of me!"

line 580:  "Oh, great! I'll wear it to my next 
heavy metal gig."

line 587:  He laughs, "And that may be sooner than
you think, Patti!"

line 594:  "In anticipation of your success,
I made all the necessary arrangements for your
White House..."

line 604:  Suddenly, 
a westbound flight 
heads South!

line 631:  You

line 659:  Desmond









385.SC 
------

line 147:  Hey! This is no dream!
Your airliner is actually falling out of control!

line 156:  As your flight plummets from the sky,
your life passes before your eyes.

line 165:  For a while, you consider that redhead you dated
during high school, wondering if there could have been
some reason she wanted you to come over to her house
that afternoon when her parents were out of town?

line 176:  But then you consider your performance since you
were back at PornProdCorp....

line 192:  "Was there an award back at good ol'
PornProdCorp?
I wish I had looked around more while I was there!"

line 200:  "How I wish I had taken the charger
for my camcorder!"

line 207:  "What if I would have brought along some
videotapes from PornProdCorp?
I could have recorded those women I saw!"

line 215:  "Boy, I wish I had degaussed those
videotapes before I left my office."

line 222:  "I wonder what was inside that
DayTrotter05 I found in that
New York City limousine?"

line 230:  "And how about that AeroDork Airline magazine?
What was in that?"

line 237:  "Was there something I could have done
with my Hard Disk Cafe membership tape?
Besides just entering the cafe?"

line 245:  "I wonder how much the overdue charges
are on those rollerskates?"

line 252:  "Was there anything in that dentist's office
I missed?"

line 259:  "Was there anything in that dentist's office
I forgot to wear?"

line 266:  "Did I ever finish that dentist's
receptionist's survey?"

line 272:  "I wish there had been some way I could
have seen `more' of Chi Chi Lambada!"

line 278:  "Why didn't I pursue Michelle Milken harder?
She seemed so easy to get to know!"

line 285:  "Why didn't I record my encounter with
Michelle Milken?"

line 291:  "That Chi Chi Lambada was so easy!
I wonder what making love to a gymnast would have
been like?"

line 299:  "Why didn't I record my encounter with
Chi Chi Lambada?"

line 305:  "I bet if I had gone to see Lana Luscious
mud wrestle, I could have gotten a kiss!"

line 312:  "I could have recorded my mud wrestling
session with Lana Luscious."

line 331:  All in all, you wish you had accepted that redhead's
offer!

line 340:  The loudspeaker crackles with a panic-stricken voice,
"Any passengers with flight experience are urged to report
to the cockpit immediately!"

line 344:  The P. A. System

line 352:  "Hmm," you think,
"I used to sell flight simulator software door-to-door!
Maybe I could help?"

line 363:  "Oh, stewardess," you shout,
"What's wrong?"

line 373:  She replies, "Oh, not to worry.
It's just that the pilot's contract ran out a few moments ago
and (being a good union man),
he refuses to work without a contract!"

line 377:  The Stewardess

line 382:  "Oh, sir, can you help us?"

line 383:  The Stewardess

line 391:  "Well, I'll do the best I can," you volunteer.
"Did I mention I used to sell flight simulator software
door-to-door?"

line 402:  "Oh, that's wonderful, Sir!
Hurry! Follow me up to... er, down to the cockpit!"

line 404:  The Stewardess









390.SC 
------

line 115:  No matter where you look, nothing looks familiar!
Whatever made you think those hours you killed playing
"Red Baron" when you should have been working could possibly
prepare you to handle a modern passenger jet?

line 121:  "AAAAEEEEEEEE!" you scream.

line 123:  You

line 127:  Oh, right!
Like that's gonna help you land this thing!

line 131:  You're too late.
You drained your bladder shortly after entering the cockpit!

line 137:  You turn on the radio.

line 138:  (It's tuned to a nice, soft-rock, easy-listening,
MOR, album station.)

line 142:  The wing surface deicers go to work,
quickly removing any trace of ice from the hot
summer sun-baked flight surfaces.

line 147:  Good idea!
Change to the auxilliary fuel tanks!!

line 151:  You change back to the main fuel tanks!

line 154:  You flip the switch that signals the stewardess
to bring you a fresh cocktail!

line 161:  How you wish you had acted earlier!

line 374:  Your jetline plummets through those clouds like
a hot knife through a buttery-flavored, artifical, non-dairy,
lard-like, food product substance.

line 379:  As much as you'd like to grab onto the clouds,
you just can't do it from inside the cockpit.

line 381:  (However, you soon may be sitting on one as you
strum your harp!)

line 571:  the console

line 588:  the throttle

line 605:  the window

line 628:  Oh, Larry!
Here's another fine mess you've gotten yourself into!

line 639:  Whatever possessed you to volunteer to land a major
aircraft? This is far different from your futile attempt
a few years ago when you tried to sell flight simulator
software for a major computer games company!

line 657:  As the ground rushes headlong toward you,
you decide to make a run for it!
Maybe there are some parachutes tucked away under the
stewardesses' seats.
Maybe the other passengers won't notice you heading
for the exit with a parachute tucked under your leisure suit.
Maybe you'll be able to open the door.
Maybe you'll be able to fly!

line 672:  As you rise to leave,
you struggle against the severe G-forces pummelling your body,
inadvertantly catching the cuff of your leisure suit
on an inconspicuous switch labeled 
"Auto Pilot."

line 702:  Grasping at anything and everything on the dashboard,
you brilliantly (and totally accidentally)
hit something called an "Auto Pilot."

line 716:  The airplane's computer takes over,
stopping its spin, leveling out the plane,
and preventing certain disaster!

line 734:   YOU DID IT, LARRY!  

line 745:  But there's a slight problem...
now you've got to land this sucker!

line 764:  your plane

line 781:  yourself

line 803:  you

line 809:  You look like you're gonna die!

line 812:  You begin to talk to yourself then realize,
"I've gotta fly this sucker!"

line 816:  You scratch your ear instead of saving this plane!

line 819:  That won't help! Do something!

line 838:  the plane

line 844:  This is your plane, plummeting to Earth,
soon to crash, killing all aboard.

line 848:  "MAYDAY! MAYDAY!!" you scream,
into no apparent microphone!

line 852:  That won't help a falling airplane!

line 855:  How you wish it were that simple--to just reach
outside and grab your airplane,
pull it back to safety.
But you've learned long ago: you're not Superman!









400.SC 
------

line 208:  "Oh, great," you think, "another lousy crowd.
And on a Saturday night, too."

line 213:  "Too many drinkers and talkers; too few listeners,"
you think. "Are there no good places left to play?"

line 218:  "Another grimy week on a grimy stage before 
another grimy scene in a grimy office with another 
grimy little night club owner!"

line 224:  (Just what did you expect from a club called 
"The Piano Pit," Patti?)

line 229:  Finishing your bows, you head for the manager's office.
"Now I suppose I'll have to endure another scene with 
another cheap club manager.
The perfect way to top off a perfect night," 
you think sarcastically.

line 242:  "Oh, well," you sigh, 
"Chin up! Positive attitude!"

line 244:  (Right. You feel positive he'll be a jerk!)

line 262:  "That pig!" you think disgustedly.
"Gawd, I wish there was some way to get even with the rotten
crooks that run this stinking business!"

line 270:  Poor Patti. 
Once again, you're "too hip for the room!"









405.SC 
------

line 108:  the door

line 148:  the Club Owner

line 195:  Patti

line 269:  "Well, Andy," you say to the swarthy club
owner, "that about wraps it up for me.
Looks like you've had another good week!"

line 273:  "Funny you'd mention that, Patti."

line 282:  "I was just getting ready to talk to you."

line 291:  "I hope you enjoyed the show, Andy,"
you say with a smile.

line 297:  "Oh, Patti, it ain't me.
You know I like you just fine.
It's just my boss that don't."

line 308:  "Julius doesn't much care for small audiences."

line 317:  "He says your fans listen too much and drink too little."

line 326:  (How ironic! You were just thinking the opposite!)

line 328:  "He can't see how he and his 'backers' can be
expected to make a profit like that."

line 338:  "Patti, I'm just going to have to let you go."

line 347:  "But, Andy! How could you? After all I've done
for you?"

line 350:  "It's not me, Honey," he says,
"you treated me jus' fine.
I'll be sorry to see you go."

line 361:  "Well, then, give me my pay,
and I'll get out of here!"

line 364:  "Ah, er," he stutters,
"I guess that's the other thing:
I can't do that."

line 375:  "Julius says your contract was never valid,
so he doesn't have to pay."

line 385:  "WHAT!" you explode,
"Now you're saying I don't even get paid for the week
I have worked?!
I ought to file a grievance with the Musicians' Union!"

line 390:  Not exactly shaking, he replies,
"Do what you have to do, Patti, but if you ever want to work
anywhere in this town again..."

line 401:  His meaning is not lost on you.
"Goodbye, Andy! Somehow I expected more of you.
I don't know why!"

line 405:  "Patti, take my advice:
play more commercial.
Give 'em what they like!
A broad as good lookin' as you could really pull 'em in,
if you'd just get smart!"

line 428:  "Andy, when I start taking musical criticism from you,
I'd appreciate it if someone would just kill me and put me
out of my misery!" you say, leaving his grimy desk.









410.SC 
------

line 193:  Entering the brisk night air, you notice a dark
figure leaning against the far wall.

line 204:  Evidently, he has noticed you, too.

line 206:  You aren't afraid.
You've handled rough situations before.
After all, think of all you went through back in 
"Leisure Suit Larry 3!"

line 309:  The following morning, 
in a much nicer area of the city 
Patti meets Desmond at  
F.B.I Headquarters...









415.SC 
------

line 72:  You

line 100:  Desmond

line 131:  "Patti, I'm Inspector Desmond, of your
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
If it's alright, I'd like to request a few moments of your
time."

line 143:  "But, of course, Inspector," you reply.
"Nice trench coat!"

line 153:  "You too," he smiles, easily recognizing your joke.
"I'm here, on behalf of your country, to ask a favor of you."

line 163:  "Go ahead, Inspector, but I don't usually grant favors
on a first date! 
Besides, I'm not the private-eye type."

line 174:  He smiles again.
"Oh, you won't have to do that, Patti.
You see, you're exactly the `type' we need!"

line 185:  "Let me explain: we're right in the middle of a 
months-long, nation-wide investigation into the infiltration 
of organized crime into the entertainment industry."

line 196:  "I'm looking for a special someone,
someone willing to take some risks,
someone without a family, 
without many social ties,
without any extenuating circumstances to get in the way."

line 209:  "Someone who understands the music business,
who plays an instrument, 
and who has the looks, brains and talent to be accepted by
those insiders we're trying to catch."

line 221:  "I know you've been `stiffed' by these guys--probably
many times. 
I want these guys, and I bet you do too.
So, Patti, in short: I need you to go `undercover'!"

line 233:  "What do you say?"

line 242:  You are taken aback. 
But considering the requirements, 
who could be better for the job than you?
It would be sweet to get revenge on these guys, 
not just for tonight's embarrassment,
but for all those others times when you gave your talents
for a bunch of ingrates.

line 250:  "But, of course I'll help you, Inspector Desmond!"
you hear yourself say,
"after all, I recently learned I'll have the next week off."

line 261:  "So, how do we start?"

line 270:  "Follow me, Patti. 
I have a car and driver waiting for us."









420.SC 
------

line 58:  "Alright Patti, here's the deal:
we're convinced of organized crime's considerable influence
in the entertainment industry.
I want you to use your musical talent to help us obtain
sufficient evidence to convict the guilty parties."

line 72:  "But, Inspector," you say worriedly,
"I know nothing of spying."

line 83:  "Don't worry, Patti, most of the spies we use are amateurs!
You won't be `licensed to kill!'
Just keep your eyes and ears open,
learn what you can,
take advantage of any opportunities,
and try to bring back some hard evidence!"

line 98:  "We'll make sure you're in the right place at the right time.
And you'll be doing good for your country."

line 108:  You think, "Not to mention getting even with those
bastards for all the times I've been screwed in the past!"

line 114:  "Alright, Inspector Desmond," you say.
"But what places and what times?"

line 125:  "Two specific areas:
one is subliminal messages in popular music.
Our studies link the recent nationwide rise in crime to
increased popularity of hard rock music."

line 138:  "`des Rever Records' in Baltimore is heavily involved
in such subliminal recordings.
Much of the overdubbing at that studio is handled by a
young recording engineer named Reverse Biaz."

line 151:  "The second area is the recent flood of obscene
rap recordings.
I personally believe records like these are being used by the
Mob to undermine the moral fiber of our nation's youth."

line 164:  "`K-RAP Radio' in Philadelphia is the headquarters of
the rap group `2 Live 2 Screw,'
who have had an unjustified string of hits recently.
I'm sure that place is a center of Mob involvement."

line 176:  "That's hard to believe," you think.

line 181:  But to Desmond you say, "Well, all right, Inspector,
but I'm hardly an expert in subliminal recordings or
rap music!"

line 193:  "Oh, don't worry, Patti.
With your `talents,' you can easily fake your way through the
simplistic noise these guys pass off as music.
After all, they're hardly the M.J.Q.!"

line 206:  "One more thing: a man we know only as `Julius' has been
connected to both these businesses.
I think this `Julius' character may be the key
to the entire problem."

line 219:  "Anything you can discover about `Julius'
or KRAP or des Rever Records would be helpful.
We'll provide you with background information
on all the pertinent people, places and groups,
but it will be up to you to get in and
get out with whatever hard facts you can."

line 234:  "Okay, boss, I'm on! Now, how do I begin?"

line 244:  "Earlier this morning,
I set you up with a gig at des Rever Records as a keyboard
sub on a recording session."

line 256:  "We've also arranged a short East Coast tour as your
cover story.
The government will handle all your travel arrangements."

line 268:  "First class, of course?"

line 278:  "Yes," he laughs, "first class, of course!
I'll get you a private limousine and your own personal driver!
And, Patti, if things go well,
I'll even set you up with a gig at the White House!
Would you like that?"

line 292:  "Yes, of course!" you agree,
afraid now that you're in way over your head.

line 303:  "Come with me, Patti," Desmond says, rising to his feet,
"we'll get started right now!"

line 327:  Inspector Desmond

line 362:  You









425.SC 
------

line 27:  xxx This is the outside of the FBI offices in DC?, your limo is
waiting for you as Desmond promised.

line 203:  the door

line 211:  This is the door you just came out of.

line 232:  your limousine

line 233:  Your limousine awaits you.

line 261:  the Stein sign

line 262:  The large sign identifies the F.B.I. labs as
"Stein Labs--We'll Be Frank With You."

line 277:  Stein Laboratories

line 278:  Isn't it interesting that the F.B.I. would disguise their
offices with such unusual names.

line 293:  the Gynoman sign

line 294:  Dr. Lyccus von Pelt's office is disguised as "Gynoman."

line 308:  the Gyno-Man building

line 309:  You wonder what sort of offices are on the upper floors
of this building, above the office of Dr. Lyccus von Pelt.

line 324:  the Woodwind Repair Shop building

line 325:  The Woodwind Repair Shop is an unusual cover for an
F.B.I. office.

line 340:  the Woodwind Repairs Shop sign

line 341:  The Woodwind Repairs Shop has an attractive sign
out front.









430.SC 
------

line 85:  Although you haven't really thought about it much,
somehow this is not what you have pictured the F.B.I.'s
development lab to look like.

line 287:  "Welcome to our Technical Laboratory.
This is the head of our Office of Agent Field Equipment,
Commander Twit.
Commander Twit, meet Passionate Patti."

line 300:  "Good morning, Patti," says Commander Twit.
"It's so very nice to meet you."

line 311:  "Likewise, Commander," you reply, thinking that is
the first time you've ever said THAT phrase!
"What is all this wonderful equipment you have here?
I've always been very interested in research--and
researchers!"

line 322:  "You have?" Twit asks suspiciously.
"Well, allow me to show you about for a moment
before we begin your indoctrination."

line 334:  "Oh, I'd just love a tour," you say,
flashing your best smile.

line 342:  "Fine," Twit says, obviously charmed.
"Feel free to explore the lab a bit, Patti;
when you're ready, I'll get some information you'll need."

line 354:  "Enjoy your indoctrination, Patti,"
says Desmond, turning to leave,
"and especially your physical!"

line 396:  "Excuse me, Commander Twit," you say.
"I'm particularly interested in this man's research!
What is he up to?"

line 404:  "I suspected you might be intrigued.
Dr. Rolfing is working on refining our new
`infrared, heat-seeking, surface-to-air vibrator.'
We feel it will be of considerable value as a
protective device against certain types of enemy agents."

line 479:  "Of course, it works much better when you remember
to turn it on and then RELEASE it!"

line 499:  "Oh, Commander Twit," you say.
"What are these two men doing?"

line 505:  "Ah, now this is an experiment that I think should be of
great interest to you, Patti.
These two technicians are working on one of our latest 
Title 9-funded developments: the hair-trigger,
double-barreled, armor-piercing brassiere cannon."

line 549:  "How interesting, Commander!" you say.
"But how could you fire such a device?"

line 560:  "Heh, heh, that's the beauty of this baby," he exclaims,
his voice rising with pride.
"Just touch your elbows together behind your back!"

line 588:  The technician mistakenly believes Commander Twit is
speaking to him!

line 639:  "You idiot!" Twit shouts at the bra-slinging technician,
"I was talking to Patti!"

line 668:  "Obviously, our turnover rate is rather high here!"

line 700:  Commander Twit

line 701:  He's the perfect image of a man more interested in
science than in his own self-image!

line 720:  There's nothing you can do to Commander Twit that
he hasn't done already.

line 735:  "Whenever you're through exploring this area,
we'll set you up with the mission-required
information you're going to need."

line 744:  Perish the thought!

line 773:  Desmond's door

line 774:  This door leads to Inspector Desmond's office.
It is presently locked.

line 787:  You decide that it wouldn't be a very good idea to
try to open your new boss' private office--especially
when he's locked the door.

line 792:  "Hey, Desmond!" you cry. "Are you in there?"

line 808:  the exterior door

line 809:  This door leads outside.

line 815:  "Whenever you are finished with your indoctrination,"
says Twit,
"I'll have a limousine waiting for you outside that door."

line 838:  the vibrator technician

line 855:  the bra-slinging technician

line 881:  the bra-tender

line 885:  Knowing what excellent medical coverage the government
offers key employees like these, you feel certain this man
will make a full and complete recovery!

line 921:  the Jacob's ladder

line 922:  To think: all your life you assumed there was no real
purpose for Jacob's ladders!

line 944:  the dart board

line 950:  It is easy to see that F.B.I. employees
don't always score!

line 954:  This dart board is here only for the amusement of the
full-time, salaried employees.

line 956:  (Besides, you've never played darts in your life,
and you don't intend to begin now!)

line 975:  the monitors

line 976:  These monitors are presently disconnected.
When they were heavily used many years ago,
it was only to play Frogger!

line 984:  You try to turn on the monitor,
but are unable to do so.

line 1003:  the giant plug

line 1004:  You wonder exactly what that giant plug plugs into.

line 1010:  What? And get electrocuted?!

line 1028:  the intercom

line 1029:  The lab technicians use this intercom to communicate
with the front office and Commander Twit.

line 1036:  You attempt to communicate through the intercom,
but your clearance is insufficient.

line 1055:  the chair

line 1056:  This office chair prevents you from accessing the
intricate equipment below it.

line 1063:  Don't move it.
You don't need anything that's past the chair.

line 1082:  the joystick

line 1083:  Wow! What a joystick!

line 1089:  You briefly picture yourself playing "Zelliard."

line 1107:  the circuit board

line 1108:  This looks like a giant circuit board.

line 1114:  Be careful. You'll get shocked!

line 1133:  the laboratory tables

line 1134:  These tables are filled with highly-expensive
scientific equipment, all paid for with your tax dollars!

line 1141:  You really shouldn't mess around with the F.B.I.'s
equipment.

line 1160:  the laboratory tables

line 1161:  These tables are filled with highly-expensive
scientific equipment, all paid for with your tax dollars!

line 1168:  You really shouldn't mess around with the F.B.I.'s
equipment.

line 1200:  Commander Twit

line 1246:  Inspector Desmond









435.SC 
------

line 36:  Although you haven't really thought about it much,
somehow this is not what you have pictured the F.B.I.'s
development lab to look like.
There are many fun things just lying about.
Which of them do you need?

line 155:  You take the double-barreled brassiere from the workbench.
It smells strongly of fresh gunpowder.

line 160:  (You hope they lowered the size of the charge!)

line 181:  the exterior door

line 182:  This door leads to the street outside.

line 204:  the brassiere cannon

line 206:  It appears the F.B.I. technician left his
bra lying on the workbench!

line 239:  Desmond's door

line 240:  This door leads to Inspector Desmond's office.
It is presently locked.

line 247:  You decide that it wouldn't be a very good idea to
try to open your new boss' private office--especially
when he's locked the door.

line 252:  "Hey, Desmond!" you cry. "Are you in there?"

line 253:  (Evidently not!)

line 271:  the dart board

line 277:  It is easy to see that F.B.I. employees
don't always score!

line 281:  This dart board is here only for the amusement of the
full-time, salaried employees.

line 283:  (Besides, you've never played darts in your life,
and you don't intend to begin now!)

line 302:  the laboratory tables

line 303:  These tables are filled with highly-expensive
scientific equipment, all paid for with your tax dollars!

line 310:  You really shouldn't mess around with the F.B.I.'s
equipment.

line 328:  the laboratory tables

line 329:  These tables are filled with highly-expensive
scientific equipment, all paid for with your tax dollars!

line 336:  You really shouldn't mess around with the F.B.I.'s
equipment.

line 355:  the monitors

line 356:  These monitors are presently disconnected.
When they were heavily used many years ago,
it was only to play "Frogger!"

line 364:  You try to turn on the monitor,
but are unable to do so.

line 383:  the giant plug

line 384:  You wonder exactly what that giant plug plugs into.

line 390:  What? And get electrocuted?!

line 408:  the intercom

line 409:  The lab technicians use this intercom to communicate
with the front office and Commander Twit.

line 416:  You attempt to communicate through the intercom,
but you find you're suffering from insufficient clearance.

line 435:  the chair

line 436:  This office chair prevents you from accessing the
intricate equipment below it.

line 443:  Don't move it.
You don't need anything that's past the chair.

line 462:  the joystick

line 463:  Wow! What a joystick!

line 469:  You briefly picture yourself playing "Zelliard."

line 487:  the circuit board

line 488:  This looks like a giant circuit board.

line 494:  Be careful. You'll get shocked!









440.SC 
------

line 66:  The F.B.I. laboratory is filled with interesting
equipment, most of which baffles you.

line 177:  "Patti, please step over here to the computer for a moment,"
says Twit.
"I need to take care of your indoctrination paperwork."

line 217:  "First, let's get you a contact telephone number."

line 228:  "Ah, here's one: 
556-2779."____ 
_______________ 
_______________ 
_______________ 
_______________ 
_______________ 
_______________ 
_______________ 

line 243:  "Now let's issue you a computer account number."

line 250:  "Here we go. How about BB-30,7.
Now for your E-mail ID number."

line 258:  "65493756.
And your official password is..."

line 266:  "...MAKING_WOOPY. How appropriate.
Now I'll apply for security clearance for you...."

line 274:  "Granted.
And you need some sort of codename;
everybody who's anybody around here has a codename."

line 283:  "How about `Agent 88'?" you suggest.

line 290:  "Okay, let's see if that's taken."

line 297:  "Well, it appears it was used once,
but that was years ago!"

line 321:  "And now all you have left is your Official Departmental
Medical Checkup and then we'll be ready to fit you with
your `Safety First Field Locator Device.'"

line 357:  "That's the door to Dr. von Pelt's office.
Let's go in there now.
He'll fit you with your `Field Locator Device.'"

line 382:  "Agent, uh, 88, I'd like you to meet our staff physician,
Dr. Lyccus Von Pelt.
Dr. Von Pelt, this is Agent 88!
Don't worry about a thing, Patti:
you're in good hands with Dr. Von Pelt!

line 393:  "Nice to meet you, Patti.
Come inside and take off all your clothes!"

line 406:  "Wow. Fast worker!" you think.

line 416:  "Assume the position!" he barks.

line 426:  "Oops. Sorry. I used to be a field agent!
Old habits, you know."

line 443:  You enter his office,
slip behind a screen and remove your clothes,
replacing them with one of those wonderful hospital
gowns that leave nothing to the imagination.

line 447:  Oh, well. Things could be worse.
At least the good doctor is also a good looker!

line 462:  "Ah, yes, Patti.
I see you're interested in one of my pet projects,
which I find fascinating.
This man has developed a high-yield, space-age polymer,
macrobiotic, flatulence-inducing powder."

line 477:  "We feel it will be excellent for those times we find it
necessary to destabilize a public leader by humiliating
him during a major public appearance or state function!"

line 655:  "Well, well. That seems to be progressing nicely!
However, a lighter dosage may well be preferable!"

line 685:  Commander Twit

line 686:  He's the perfect image of a man more interested in
science than in his own self-image!

line 706:  There's nothing you can do to Commander Twit that
he hasn't done already.

line 717:  "Whenever you're through exploring this area, Patti,
please feel free to enter Dr. von Pelt's office."

line 725:  Perish the thought!

line 742:  Doctor von Pelt's door

line 743:  Through this door lies the offices of Dr. Lyccus von Pelt,
F.B.I. gynecologist.

line 768:  the computer

line 769:  If only you had paid attention when Larry chattered
on and on about his computer.
You know nothing about this computer and
are sure you'll be unable to do anything with it.

line 778:  You are afraid to touch any computer keyboard that
doesn't have MIDI built in!

line 842:  the duck

line 843:  If it drinks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck,
it must be an experiment.

line 858:  Commander Twit

line 904:  Dr. Lyccus Von Pelt

line 965:  the machine

line 966:  This machine does something, you feel quite certain.

line 972:  You have not a clue as to what this machine may do!

line 990:  the chemistry set

line 991:  This must be the source of the flatulence powder.

line 997:  You'll never be able to duplicate his
"secret formula" of twelve natural herbs and spices.

line 1016:  the workbench

line 1017:  Lots of chemicals, beakers, and junk food wrappers
fill this workbench.

line 1024:  After seeing the results of Commander Twit's earlier
experiments, you think it best not to touch anything
here unless truly necessary.

line 1045:  the books

line 1046:  These books are filled with Latin phrases.
The only Latin phrases you know,
would get a sailor thrown out of a bar in Tijuana!

line 1054:  You don't have time to read a book now, Patti!

line 1073:  the desk

line 1074:  This desk doesn't contain any secret documents;
they all were burned in the big fire last week!

line 1081:  You open the drawer and look inside.
There's nothing in there but a few charred slips of paper.









445.SC 
------

line 50:  The F.B.I. laboratory is completely deserted.
Perhaps they had more experiments than experimenters?

line 212:  the DataMan

line 213:  A tiny electronic display device lies on the counter.

line 242:  the DataPak

line 243:  What appears to be some sort of ROM cartridge lies
on the counter.

line 272:  the DataPak

line 273:  What appears to be some sort of ROM cartridge lies
on the counter.

line 298:  the DataPak holder

line 299:  A small rack rests on the counter.

line 304:  You can't take the rack as it is attached to the table.

line 321:  Doctor von Pelt's door

line 322:  This door leads back into Dr. Lyccus von Pelt's office.
After what you just went through,
you're in no hurry to go back in there!

line 330:  It's locked, and you're glad that you can't get in!

line 333:  You knock on Dr. Lyccus von Pelt's office door.
There is no answer because the good Doctor is off playing
golf.

line 361:  the machine

line 362:  This machine does something, you feel quite certain.

line 368:  You have not a clue as to what this machine may do!

line 386:  the computer

line 387:  If only you had paid attention when Larry chattered
on and on about his computer.
You know nothing about computers and
are sure you'll be unable to do anything with it.

line 396:  You are afraid to touch any computer keyboard that
doesn't have MIDI into built it!

line 415:  the chemistry set

line 416:  This is where the technician made the flatulence powder.
(Un)Fortunately, he left his equipment thoroughly clean.

line 423:  You'll never be able to duplicate his
"secret formula" of twelve natural herbs and spices.

line 442:  the workbench

line 443:  Lots of chemicals, beakers, and junk food wrappers
fill this workbench.

line 453:  After seeing the results of Commander Twit's earlier
experiments, you think it best not to touch anything
here unless truly necessary.

line 457:  There's nothing on that bench that could be
useful to you in your mission.

line 478:  the books

line 479:  These books are filled with Latin phrases.
The only Latin phrases you know,
would get a sailor thrown out of a bar in Tijuana!

line 487:  You don't have time to read a book now, Patti!

line 506:  the desk

line 507:  This desk doesn't contain any secret documents;
they all were burned in the big fire last week!

line 514:  You open the drawer and look inside.
There's nothing in there but a few charred slips of paper.

line 538:  Aw! The technician took his duck with him!









450.SC 
------

line 93:  "Hello, Patti, and welcome aboard. 
I'm Dr. Lyccus Von Pelt, staff physician and 
volunteer gynocologist around here!"

line 102:  "It will be my pleasure to be serving you today."

line 147:  "I love this job!!"

line 164:  "Now that you've passed your official departmental checkup
(with flying colors, I might add),
it's time for me to install one of our
lab's latest inventions, our `Safety First
Field Locator Device.'"

line 175:  "Is this really necessary, Doctor?"

line 182:  "Of course, Patti.
This device lets our team of highly-trained professional
trackers follow you wherever you go."

line 191:  "Well, okay, I guess. But will this procedure be
painful?"

line 199:  "Of course not, Patti.... Trust me!"

line 206:  (You've heard that line before!)

line 257:  "Oh, I'm sorry; let me warm that for you first."

line 300:  "Oops! Perhaps you'd prefer something in a D-width?"

line 344:  "Now just relax, Patti; 
you'll only feel a little prick."

line 354:  (A feeling not wholly unfamiliar to you!)

line 433:  Two hours later...

line 534:  Dr. Lyccus Von Pelt









460.SC 
------

line 201:  What an honor for you, Patti!
Just look at all the dignitaries here to hear you perform.

line 211:  (Well, you presume that's why they're here.)

line 220:  You are seated at the table closest to the door,
near the piano you are to perform upon after dinner.
Inspector Desmond sits across from you,
chatting with the women beside him.

line 232:  You carry on a meaningless dialogue with the two men
beside you.
What a shame the President was too busy to be here, though.
You feel sure he would have loved to meet you!

line 249:  A voice rings out from just outside the doorway,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, our Guest of Honor this evening,
fresh from his heroic rescue of an airplane filled with
U. S. citizens, including our Vice President's Mommy,
Mr. Larry, Larry Laffer!"

line 256:  "What!" you think. "Larry? MY Larry Laffer?"

line 274:  "Larry!" you shout. "It's you!!"

line 277:  "Patti!" Larry shouts. "It's you!!"

line 278:  Larry

line 342:  "Oh, Larry! I've missed you so!!"
You whisper in his ear.

line 356:  "What happened to you, Patti?" Larry sighs.
"The last I remember,
we were together on a deck overlooking a lake!
Where did you go?
Hell, where did I go?!"

line 361:  Larry

line 374:  "Oh, you sweet dear.
You really don't remember a thing, do you?
It's a long story that perhaps I'll tell you some day,
but right now,
all that matters is that we're together again!"

line 391:  "Uh, say Patti," Larry says,
"Since I had a little trouble finding a date for tonight,
why don't you join me on the dais?
We can talk about old times."

line 395:  Larry

line 408:  "Why, Larry! That would be wonderful."

line 462:  "Come on, Inspector Desmond," you say,
"we're gonna sit at the head table!"

line 480:  "Uh, Patti, er, well, I meant..."
Larry stutters, then finally gives up.
"Hi, Inspector. My name is Larry; Larry Laffer."

line 483:  Larry

line 486:  "Charmed," grunts Desmond.

line 607:  "Uh, excuse me, Patti.
Would you two scoot over a little
so your guest of honor can sit down, too?"

line 611:  Larry

line 679:  From nowhere, a Secret Service man appears
with a folding chair.

line 734:  "You know, Mr. Vice President," Larry says,
"you've always been a secret hero of mine!
In fact, the Vice Presidency is one office
to which I have always aspired to!"

line 739:  Larry

line 744:  "Mr. Laffer," responds the Vice President,
"has anyone ever mentioned to you that we look alike?"

line 746:  "Oh, of course. And am I proud!"

line 747:  Larry

line 779:  Before you can talk to Larry or Desmond,
you realize the large burly gentleman to your left is
already speaking to you.

line 810:  "...and it's fortunate that you're here this evening
as I'm only in town for a short time.
Yes, I'm testifying tomorrow on Capitol Hill at the Senate
hearings on pornography in the entertainment industry."

line 819:  "Oh, really?" you say, feigning interest.

line 825:  "You've heard of me, then?" he swells up noticably.

line 830:  "Yes, my job is simple:
tomorrow I intend to convince Congress to create tough,
anti-pornography legislation tough enough to make
the airwaves "Beaver" clean again,
just like they were back in the Fifties!"

line 843:  You love these dinners and being seated next to people
who feel their sole mission is to impress you with
themselves!

line 848:  (Especially a man who's breath is enough to curdle
hairspray!)

line 853:  "Allow me to introduce myself," he says,
"I'm Mr. Bigg, a major West Coast corporate leader."

line 861:  "My name is Passionate Patti," you reply.

line 867:  "And I bet I can guess how you earned that name,"
he grins.

line 878:  What an obnoxious creep!
Now he's humming at you.
Some familiar song.
A love song?
Who does he think he's impressing?

line 885:  "What is that song," you think.
"It sounds so familiar."

line 892:  Realizing you are still unimpressed, Bigg digs in deeper.

line 895:  "You know, Patti (may I call you Patti?),
I find you a very sexy woman.
In fact, I've been looking for just such a
woman for a new position I recently created."

line 904:  Between phrases, he continues to hum that melody.

line 910:  "Patti, you seem like a woman interested in quick
success.
Why don't you be the hostess of my new TV show?"

line 917:  "For months I've had minions out hunting for the
sexiest woman in America.
But tonight, I've discovered her myself!
Just say the word, Babe, and the gig is yours!"

line 926:  At the mention of "sexiest woman in America,"
Larry's head jerks toward Bigg,
his attention riveted on the conversation.

line 934:  "Really, Mr. Bigg, your offer is not interest..."

line 940:  Bigg interrupts you.
"Oh, Patti! Stop being so formal.
Please. Call me `Julius.'"

line 952:  "JULIUS!" you think, your mind racing!

line 993:  "Patti, something's wrong," says Larry.
"He's offering you the job as hostess of
`America's Sexiest Home Videos!'
But he has nothing to do with that show!
I should know, I do!
I was sent by the producer to find...
Say, wait a minute.
He could be the money behind the show...?"

line 1001:  Larry

line 1004:  "JULIUS!" you cry,
suddenly putting everything together!
"Desmond! Arrest this man!!"

line 1008:  "WHAT?!" shouts Bigg.

line 1009:  "You scoundrel!
You've been humming the love theme that I wrote for the
soundtrack of `Larry 4!'
That song was never published and the recording was
never released!
There's no way you could know it unless you
played Larry 4!"

line 1018:  Of course, I see it all now.
Bigg, you're the man who hired me to create the music,
then erased the floppies to keep from paying me!
You're the reason my poor Larry has amnesia!
You're the man behind K-RAP and des Rever Records!
Julius Bigg--you're the man I've been following this
entire game!"

line 1027:  "You're so smart, Patti!" screams Bigg,
"let's see you deduce your way out of this!"

line 1029:  And leaping to his feet,
he pulls a revolver and aims it directly at you!

line 1042:  "Everybody stay away or I'll shoot!" shouts Bigg.

line 1043:  Larry cries out, "I'll save you, Sir!"

line 1044:  Larry

line 1086:  Do something, Patti!

line 1103:  "It's a good thing I wore that F.B.I. bra!"
you think, touching your elbows behind your back.

line 1182:  "Congratulations, Patti!" says Desmond.
"You've saved the Vice President's life!
We'll haul this guy down to headquarters right now!"

line 1186:  Under his breath, Desmond whispers to you as he
passes, "Well, there goes our weekend!
Looks like I'll be stuck at the office filing paperwork
for days!"

line 1246:  "I'm sorry I shoved your face in that custard pie,
Mr. Vice President!" Larry says.

line 1248:  Larry

line 1267:  You turn to Larry,
"So... it looks like I'm free for the weekend.
How about you?"

line 1300:  Assuming you are talking to him, the Vice President
whispers carefully, so as not to let his wife overhear,
"Er, uh, well, yes.
Perhaps I could set up a little excursion to Camp David..."

line 1320:  Larry presumes the VeePee is being magnanimous.
"Gee, thanks!" he says in a loud voice,
"and I hope you and the missus get a chance
to come along too.

line 1324:  Larry

line 1330:  Later...

line 1503:  Larry Laffer

line 1539:  Desmond

line 1551:  the chair

line 1563:  the chair

line 1578:  Roger

line 1597:  Humphrey

line 1616:  the sleeping guest

line 1635:  the Secret Service man

line 1649:  the Vice President

line 1667:  Mr. Bigg

line 1748:  the chair

line 1760:  the chair

line 1772:  the chair

line 1786:  Marilyn Quayle

line 1799:  the pie

line 1828:  Mr. Bigg

line 1857:  You









480.SC 
------

line 93:  "Larry? What's that bulge in your leisure suit?"

line 99:  "Oh, Patti! Oh. I know what you mean.
Why those are just some miniature video tapes 
I recorded while on the road."

line 107:  "Hey, fun! 
That'll give us something to watch at Camp David!"

line 114:  "I love home movies!" chimes in the Vice President.

line 120:  "Uh, Patti, er, Sir, ah, I don't think... 
Oh, never mind," Larry says.
"Grab your glasses everyone.
Patti, I propose a toast to us--and 
to our wonderful future together!"

line 130:  "Excellent, Larry. Here's to a great week-end!!"

line 188:  And so, all's well that ends well?

line 191:  Well, well!

line 195:  It seems all your "work" videotaping those girls
was for naught.
Silas Scruemall, producer of "America's Sexiest Home Videos," 
decided to "simplify the audition process" by magnanimously
awarding the show's hostess gig to his current girlfriend.

line 201:  "America's Sexiest Home Videos" went on to become 
the megahit of the season, proving clearly that P. T. Barnum
was right.

line 207:  Congress never did get around to doing anything to 
"clean up the airwaves."

line 210:  It seems every bill submitted somehow got mysteriously
"stuck in committee."

line 215:  After a lengthy trial that increased tabloid sales
nationwide, Julius Bigg was found innocent of all charges
related to his incident at the White House dinner.

line 219:  In what was quickly dubbed the "custard pie" defense,
he pleaded "temporary insanity due to the high 
sugar content of those White House desserts" 
and got off with a mild reprimand from the judge
and six months of mandatory Jenny Craig meetings.

line 227:  Reverse Biaz soon found himself out of a job when
des Rever Records went bankrupt.

line 230:  Executives realized there's no longer any reason to add 
subliminal messages to recordings since kids can't figure out
how to play their CDs backwards.

line 236:  K-RAP became a national sensation when they expanded
by buying a small television station outside of Atlanta 
and a 24-hour satellite channel.

line 240:  They promoted P. C. Hammer to his new position as
the nation's first "Nude VeeJay."
Their new slogan: "K-TV -- More Rap, Less Wrap!"

line 246:  The Mob's pornography business continued its
steady decline.

line 249:  But they'll find newer, more profitable investments
somewhere.

line 254:  Piano bars continue to change into karoake bars and
the entertainment industry remains exactly as honest as
it has always been.

line 261:  But all is not lost:
Leisure Suit Larry and Passionate Patti are together again!

line 266:  ...at least for the weekend!

line 270:  Art Team Manager  
Cheryl Loyd

line 291:  Animators  

line 299:    
Cheryl Loyd 
Barry T. Smith 
Roger Hardy Jr. 
Dana M. Dean 
Karin Young 
Marc Hudgins 
Eric Kasner

line 314:    
Richard Powell 
Phyllis Cucchiara 
Terry Falls 
Michael Hutchison 
Desie Hartman 
Willis Wong

line 330:  Background Artists  
Jane Cardinal 
Maurice Morgan 
Andy Hoyos 
Cheryl Loyd 
Jay Friedmann 
Jennifer Shontz 
Gloria Garland

line 343:  Programmers  
Brian K. Hughes 
Carlos Escobar 
Steve Conrad 
John Hartin 
Oliver Brelsford 
Al Lowe

line 355:  Music Director  
Mark Seibert

line 376:  Sierra's Creative Interpreter 
Development System  

line 385:     
Jeff Stephenson 
Robert E. Heitman 
Dan Foy 
Larry Scott 
John Rettig 
J. Mark Hood 
Chris Smith 
Terry McHenry

line 401:     
Eric Hart 
Chad Bye 
Mark Wilden 
Ken Koch 
John Crane 
Steve Coallier 
Randy Moss

line 418:  Additional Music  
Chris Braymen

line 425:  Additional Written Material  
Josh Mandel

line 432:  Quality Assurance Team Leader  
Robin Bradley

line 439:  Coffee Grinder  
C. Escobar

line 460:  Remember Al Lowe's Slogan:

line 481:  Better Babes Through 
Technology!









500.SC 
------

line 123:  The exterior of "The Hard Disk Cafe" is in keeping
with their computer memorabilia motif.

line 130:  Your limo is gone, Larry. Why not walk inside?

line 133:  The limousine you ordered has arrived.
Why not get in?

line 137:  You try in vain to find a means of transportation,
but to no avail.
How will you ever be able to telephone that limo
company?

line 163:  Ahhh

line 237:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Larry.

line 239:  Save

line 240:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 241:  AL says

line 362:  your limousine

line 363:  xxx Al, this lookstr doesn't make sense if you just called
for it-> Your limousine will return whenever you contact
the company.

line 395:  the front door

line 396:  If you could figure out how to open this door,
you might enter "The Hard Disk Cafe."

line 421:  the front door

line 428:  If you could figure out how to open this door,
you might enter "The Hard Disk Cafe."

line 447:  the lava lamp

line 448:  Wow! A giant lava lamp!
(You've always loved those things!)

line 456:  It feels so warm to the touch.

line 474:  the lava lamp

line 475:  Wow! A giant lava lamp!
(You've always loved those things!)

line 483:  It feels so warm to the touch.

line 502:  the plant

line 503:  These plants grow here in spite of the atmosphere.

line 526:  the plant

line 527:  These plants grow here in spite of the atmosphere.









510.SC 
------

line 68:  The lobby of "The Hard Disk Cafe" is filled with a
tremendously exciting (to you nerds) display of ancient
computer memorabilia.
Your pulse quickens just looking around the place.

line 295:  You change your mind and hang up the phone.

line 301:  "Hello," says the voice on the telephone,
"You've reached the `Fabulous Checker Limo Company.'
I hope you're having a nice day!"

line 304:  "Hello! This is Larry; Larry Laffer," you say.
"Please send my limo to The Hard Disk Cafe immediately!

line 306:  "Yes sir! It'll be there damn near instantly."

line 308:  That line is busy.

line 312:  "I'm sorry, but that is not a working number.
This is a recording."

line 388:  "Say, good fellow," you say to the maitre d',
"would you be willing to accept a little bribe?"

line 396:  "But, of course, My Sewer," says the
maitre d' snootily.
"It worked in Larry 3, didn't it?"

line 404:  "I suggest you find transportation to another
location, Mr. (heh, heh) Laffer!" he smirks.

line 412:  "You have your tape, Mr. Laffer.
Stop bothering me!"

line 433:  Please enter the amount you wish to bribe the Maitre d'

line 434:  Grease That Palm

line 443:  "Please, follow me, sir,"
says the maitre d', walking to the punch tape reader.
"Allow me to prepare you for membership
in our exclusive club."

line 453:  "Thank you very much, sir," says the
maitre d' greedily. "Have a nice day!"

line 503:  Larry! How brilliant you are!
Carefully wrapping your membership tape around the music
box's cylinder,
you punch a new set of holes in your membership tape,
altering it forever.
But now, will you be able to enter the cafe?

line 616:  "Hello," you say to the maitre d',
"do you have a table for a swinging guy like
me?"

line 621:  "But sir," you protest,
"perhaps you've heard of me...
my name is Larry; Larry Laffer."

line 626:  "I'd really like to get something to eat,"
you say to the maitre d'.
"May I have a table now?"

line 631:  "I'd really like to get something to
drink," you say to the maitre d'.
"May I please have a table now?"

line 636:  "You know, it's amazing that a place like
this could even stay in business," you say,
beginning to lose your temper.
"I've never been to a place where the customer
is always WRONG!"

line 643:  "Let me into that cafe, you ninny,"
you shout at the maitre d'.
"You better let me in, I think!"

line 648:  "So when can I get in, eh?" you whine,
"I've got to meet somebody here!"

line 652:  "She's really quite lovely," you offer,
"in fact, I bet you know her."

line 656:  "Say, since I'm just going to stand here
anyway, why don't I tell you a little story?
A story about how a unassuming, traveling
software salesman, born near a log cabin in
Gumbo, Missouri, made it into the big time..."

line 663:  "Want to hear a little more about me?"
you offer.

line 670:  "Thanks for making that tape for me.
Could you give it to me now?"

line 675:  "Uhh, I seemed to have misplaced my membership
tape," you tell the maitre d'.
"Could you cut me a new one?"

line 681:  "Excuse me," you say to the maitre d',
"How do I get into that inner door?"

line 686:  "Thanks for the membership tape!" you say to
the maitre d'.
"But where do I go?"

line 699:  "No."

line 702:  "No."

line 705:  "No."

line 708:  "No."

line 711:  "No?"

line 714:  "Know."

line 717:  "Ho."

line 720:  "Who?"

line 723:  "OK! STOP!! I'll get you a damned ticket!"
he shouts.

line 732:  "I'm sorry, sir, but my limit is
one bore per customer!"

line 739:  "You fool! Eeet's hanging there in plain sight!"

line 744:  "I suggest you find transportation to another
location, Mr. (heh, heh) Laffer!" he smirks.

line 753:  "Just find a place to sit down.
You have an assigned table. Find it!"

line 769:  (Nice going, Larry!)

line 830:  "There you are, Sir!" barks the maitre d'.
"Enjoy your visit here at the lovely Hard Disk Cafe!"

line 863:  "I'm sorry, sir," he replies,
"but admittance to the exclusive `Herman Hollerith Room'
is limited to only our very finest customers."

line 871:  "(...which you are not!)"
he concludes under his breath.

line 910:  You grab your tape from the tape reader.

line 932:  the telephone

line 943:  A telephone rests near the maitre d's podium--and
it's finally available for your use!

line 946:  That woman has tied up the telephone for as long
as you've been here.

line 956:  There's no need to use the telephone again,
since you've already contacted the limo company.
Shouldn't you walk outside?
Your limo may be waiting for you.

line 965:  "Get off that phone," you shout.
"There are others here that want to make a call."

line 967:  She ignores you completely.

line 989:  the computer terminal

line 1002:  Bertha

line 1005:  A large aggressive woman has been talking on the
telephone for as long as you've been here.

line 1011:  "Get off that phone," you shout.
"There are others here that want to make a call."

line 1013:  Bertha ignores you completely.

line 1016:  "Hey, I'd like to make a call someday, myself,"
you say to the large woman.

line 1018:  Bertha ignores you completely.

line 1033:  Bertha's head

line 1049:  the music box

line 1062:  Music boxes show an early use of the principle that
made punchcard possible. It gave precisely aligned pins
meaning as musical pitches.

line 1066:  (How interesting: the music box's cylinder
appears to be the same width as your membership tape.)

line 1069:  Its cylinder is exactly 35 millimeters wide.

line 1075:  The music box is either very old and very tired,
or some practical joker has altered the pin placement
on its cylinder. It sounds terrible!

line 1082:  It's a music box, not an Edison cylinder recorder.

line 1091:  You wonder if this will ruin your only means
of admission to the Cafe!

line 1095:  If you punch any more holes in that piece of
tape there will be nothing left!

line 1128:  your membership tape

line 1132:  The membership tape you wanted so badly now hangs
limply from the side of the paper tape reader,
twisting slowly in the wind.

line 1173:  the maitre d'

line 1174:  You are quite envious of those that can look
stupid and snooty at the same time.

line 1182:  (You wonder if his French accent could
be fake?)

line 1190:  "Hello," you say to the maitre d',
"do you have a table for a guy like me?"

line 1194:  "Just use the membership tape I created for you," he replies.

line 1196:  "Please keep your hands off me," says the
maitre d'. "I'm for the use of members only!"

line 1208:  "Why don't you get your tape out of
the machine?"

line 1221:  "You know, I'd really love to be rid of
all these troublesome credit cards,"
you tell the maitre d'.
"Would you be willing to trade them for a table
inside?"

line 1226:  "But, of course, Sir!" he replies,
snapping to attention.
"I always have a soft spot for a fine
fellow like you!"

line 1238:  "You might want to save these,
Sir," he replies. "You may need them later.

line 1245:  "Would you mind throwing this away for me,"
you say, "Now that I know how to get here
I don't need it any more."

line 1249:  "Wee, wee, moisture!" he replies.

line 1261:  "Would you like to see my appointment
calendar for the next year?" you ask the maitre d'.

line 1263:  "Hardly," he sniffs.

line 1288:  the swinging doors

line 1310:  the swinging doors

line 1319:  You presume this door leads to the cafe proper.

line 1335:  This door operates by means of a Membership
Tape inserted and read by that machine to the left.

line 1341:  Insert your tape into the machine just
to the left of this door.

line 1345:  You might try using that on the maitre d'.

line 1362:  the maitre d'

line 1418:  the paper tape machine

line 1427:  An ancient mainframe computer's paper tape reader
sits against the far wall near the door.

line 1430:  Your membership tape is still hanging from the side
of the machine.

line 1442:  This paper tape reader grants access to the
"Hard Disk Cafe" proper,
which is located behind those closed doors.
To enter, just insert your membership tape in the slot.

line 1476:  the antique disk drive

line 1478:  This early disk drive was the size of a washing
machine and held an enormous amount of data--over
one megabyte.

line 1485:  This disk drive is for display purposes only.

line 1503:  the Pet Computer

line 1504:  You haven't seen a Pet Computer since
the early days of "InfoWorld!"

line 1510:  This computer is for display purposes only.

line 1527:  the Apple II computer

line 1529:  You cut your first computer teeth on an old integer
BASIC Apple II. It wasn't even a Plus!

line 1535:  This computer is for display purposes only.

line 1552:  the cash register

line 1554:  This NCR baby was one of the first
microprocessor-controlled point-of-sale cash registers.

line 1560:  This computer is for display purposes only.

line 1578:  the green screen monitor

line 1579:  This ancient device could display text in any color
you wanted, as long as it was green on black.

line 1585:  This computer is for display purposes only.

line 1602:  the Atari 400 computer

line 1604:  Boy, does that Atari 400 bring back fond memories of
your misspent youth, playing "Frogger" when your
classmates were dating!

line 1611:  This computer is for display purposes only.

line 1628:  the antique tape drive

line 1629:  This is one of the world's first tape drives,
revolutionary in its day, it seems incredibly
quaint today. Why it couldn't even hold
"Space Quest" let alone a "King's Quest!"

line 1639:  This machine once used magnetic tape,
not paper tape.

line 1663:  the piano roll

line 1665:  The player piano was an early use of punched holes to
control a mechanical device.
A vacumn was applied to 88 holes in a metal bar,
with each hole indicating a different musical pitch.
Where holes occuried in the moving paper,
the corresponding notes were played.

line 1673:  The historic old piano roll is hermetically sealed
in that glass case.

line 1686:  the punch card machine

line 1688:  This punch card reader dates from the 1890 U. S. Census.
It could handle up to 80 characters or columns of data,
a number which remains to this day as the width of most
computer video display devices.

line 1694:  A sign on the punch card reader requests
that you keep your hands off.

line 1708:  the chair

line 1710:  This chair is for the exclusive use of the maitre d'.

line 1723:  the bulletin board

line 1725:  The bulletin board is filled with photographs of
famous nerds who frequent this place!

line 1739:  the maitre d's podium

line 1742:  The maitre d's podium is just the right size for him
to hide behind when the crowds here start throwing
things!

line 1757:  the desk

line 1759:  You wish you had such a nice desk in your crummy
office.

line 1773:  the cactus

line 1776:  The cactus is covered with needle-sharp needles.
(Hence, the name "Needlenose Cacti.")

line 1782:  "OUCH!"

line 1785:  Who do you think you are, Snoopy's Uncle Spike?

line 1790:  Punch holes in your membership tape?
A good idea, but this is not the way to do it.

line 1814:  the cactus









520.SC 
------

line 48:  You are looking at "The Hard Disk Cafe's" exclusive
paper membership tape reader.
It controls admittance to the club.

line 91:  You carefully insert your paper membership tape
into the ancient machine.

line 105:  Welcome to "THE HARD DISK CAFE" customer database.
Please insert your membership tape now.

line 115:  Processing...

line 128:  Since you have no membership tape,
you decide there's no use wasting your time here.

line 137:  User #104725029871492 found.  
Welcome, Mr. Larry Laffer.
Tonight you are assigned to Track 45, Sector 4F.

line 147:  User #104725029871491 found.  
Welcome, SuperUser Laffer.
Go right on in. Sit anywhere you like.
Make yourself at home.

line 158:  SuperUser #1 found.  
Welcome, Mr. Gilbert Hyatt!
Go right on in.
Make yourself at home.
Sit anywhere you like!

line 170:  error

line 190:  You carefully insert your paper membership tape
into the ancient machine.

line 204:  Processing...

line 218:  User 104725029871491 found.  
ALERT! ALERT!  
SysLevUser Error!

line 233:  User #104725029871491 found.  
Welcome, SuperUser Laffer.
You may now enter the "Herman Hollerith Room."

line 245:  SuperUser #1 found.
Welcome, Mr. Gilbert Hyatt.
Feel free to enter the "Herman Hollerith Room."
Sit wherever you wish.

line 264:  Listen, Laffer:
your lowly clearance level prevents access to the
exclusive "Herman Hollerith Room."
You were assigned to Track 45, Sector 4F.
Now sit there!

line 293:  "Hey! Come on! Gimme back my tape!"

line 294:  That stupid machine ate your tape!
You hope you won't need it again, Larry.

line 315:  

line 316:  

line 326:  your tape

line 327:  Your membership tape hangs from the machine's open lip.









525.SC 
------

line 167:  At last you are inside the "Hard Disk Cafe's" cafe.
But where in the world is YOUR seat?

line 170:  You could sit like these and watch people all day.
In fact, you may have to, as there seems to be an 
extreme shortage of waiters in this place.
No wonder there's no crowd!

line 247:  Look, Larry! 
There she is!!
It's your "target" for New York City:
Michelle Milken.

line 425:  the door

line 444:  You know it's possible to get in there, but
how will you? Michelle used that paper tape reader.

line 447:  You wonder what lies behind "The Magenta Door."

line 452:  This door operates by means of a Membership
Tape inserted and read by that machine to the left.

line 459:  "Hello. Is there anyone inside?"

line 464:  Insert your tape into the machine just
to the left of this door.

line 468:  You might try using that on the maitre d'.

line 489:  It's her, Larry! 
Watch her carefully; perhaps you could follow her!

line 491:  Michelle Milken

line 496:  "Yoo hoo, Michelle!" you cry, 
fumbling to find the words that would stop a knockout like
this one.
"Wait! I've just got to meet you!"

line 516:  the fat lady

line 517:  You presume she's the one who sings when it's over.

line 525:  "Getchur hans off'n my grub!" screams the
woman.

line 529:  "Excuse me, madam," you say, "do you 
have any idea how to enter the other room?"

line 531:  "Glub, glub, glub," is her only sound.

line 546:  the monitor

line 559:  the bald man

line 560:  That's one of the few people in this huge cafe.

line 572:  the lonely man

line 573:  That's one of the few people in this huge cafe.

line 586:  the lonely man

line 587:  That's one of the few people in this huge cafe.

line 599:  the lonely woman

line 601:  That's one of the few people in this huge cafe.

line 614:  Jack

line 622:  An extremely skinny man is eating with an extremely
not-very-skinny woman!

line 642:  their table

line 643:  This table seems to be occupied. Extremely occupied!

line 649:  You can't sit there.
You weren't assigned to that table.

line 669:  your table

line 680:  Look! How convenient! 
A small sign on the table reads, 
"Track 45, Sector 4F."
This is your table, Larry!

line 686:  You no longer have to sit at this table, Larry.
You are now a "SuperUser!"

line 688:  (Whatever that means!)

line 719:  the tables

line 720:  What a huge cafe to have so few customers.

line 726:  You can't get to those tables.

line 729:  You voice echoes throughout the nearly empty
"Hard Disk Cafe."

line 749:  the cactus

line 750:  Insert your favorite cactus and "prick" joke here.

line 756:  "OUCH!"

line 774:  the tape reader

line 783:  This is identical to the reader you used to
enter this room.

line 822:  the door









530.SC 
------

line 42:  Now you understand why this is such an exclusive room.
It's quiet, lovely and private.

line 159:  "Nearly as many times as I'm here,"
she responds.

line 166:  "That may be,
but I look even better out of it!"

line 173:  "Well, you may sit down,
but it may be for dessert!"

line 184:  (Now what did THAT mean?)

line 188:  (Say, this may turn out all right yet!)

line 192:  (A better offer you've never had, Larry!
Go for it!!)

line 211:  her ice cream

line 224:  the couple

line 237:  the couple

line 250:  the couple

line 263:  the couple

line 276:  the couple

line 288:  her

line 305:  your chair

line 306:  It's the only place you've got to sit. And you like it!

line 312:  You can't stand up; you have nowhere else to go.

line 315:  Why not talk to that beautiful woman instead.
Go on, Larry; strike up a conversation.

line 334:  the cactus

line 335:  Isn't it funny how this cactus blooms
when none of the others do.

line 343:  "OUCH!"

line 361:  the table

line 362:  Here's another couple having a wonderful evening
while you wander around all alone again!

line 369:  You can't sit with a strange couple!

line 374:  "Excuse me, may I join you?"
you ask the couple at the left table.

line 378:  "No. I'm sorry, but we're eating."
replies the wit at the table.
"And I don't want to lose my appetite."

line 404:  the table

line 405:  Here's another couple having a wonderful evening
while you wander around New York City all alone!

line 411:  You can't sit with a strange couple!

line 416:  "Excuse me," you shout to that far table,
"but can you explain why I don't talk to that lovely woman
sitting all alone at that table in the corner?"

line 421:  "Could your head be up your..."

line 444:  the table

line 445:  Here's another couple having a wonderful evening
while you wander around all alone again!

line 452:  You can't sit with a strange couple!

line 457:  "Hi, folks; I'm from out of town." you yell to
the diners at the table across the room.

line 482:  the table

line 483:  A breathtakingly beautiful black woman sits alone at a
booth, playing slowly and sensually with her dessert.
It's Michelle Milken. You've found her, Larry!

line 491:  You know what you want to do, Larry.
Your problem is figuring out how to do it!

line 495:  Perhaps you should sit down with her first.

line 498:  A little premature, aren't you, Larry?
Maybe first a little dinner,
then a show,
perhaps a little dancing....

line 506:  "Hello, Lovely Lonely Lady," you say to the
gorgeous babe sitting all alone in the booth near you.
"Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Larry; Larry Laffer."

line 512:  You hope she doesn't just ignore you.

line 513:  "Hi, Larry," she says with a friendly smile,
"new in town?"

line 518:  Remembering your boss' warning not to reveal
your identity, you decide to begin with a casual
opener, "Do you come here often?" you ask.

line 526:  Perhaps I could mention her "power clothes,"
you think to yourself.
A compliment on her apparel might be appropriate...

line 531:  "What a lovely suit you're wearing,"
you tell her. "And you certainly look good in it!

line 538:  "I notice you're dining alone," you try again.

line 541:  "Yes, and dining isn't the only thing I
don't enjoy doing alone!" she responds with a smile.

line 546:  "I was wondering: may I join you for dinner,"
you say.

line 573:  the serving cart

line 574:  It looks like this cart is the only table available.

line 580:  You can't move the cart. Then you'd have no table!

line 598:  the lamp

line 599:  It casts an even illumination.

line 792:  "Allow me to make our booth just a little more
private," says Michelle, standing up.

line 812:  the curtain

line 831:  Every booth has curtains to assure your total privacy
while dining.

line 835:  There's nothing you can do with the curtains.

line 841:  They don't want to talk to you, Larry!

line 844:  Just leave them alone!

line 847:  Don't you get the hint?
They don't want to talk to you!

line 867:  the curtain

line 875:  "DEAR!" interrupts his wife, "that's not necessary!
This is a family restaurant!"

line 896:  There's nothing you can do with the curtains.

line 899:  Every booth has curtains to assure your total privacy
while dining.

line 923:  the curtain

line 929:  "Why doesn't that come as a surprise?"
the woman replies snootily.

line 944:  There's nothing you can do with the curtains.

line 947:  Every booth has curtains to assure your total privacy
while dining.

line 971:  the curtain

line 983:  Michelle Milken









535.SC 
------

line 87:  You are sitting with the gorgeous Michelle Milken
in an exclusive private booth
in the exclusive Herman Hollerith Room
in the exclusive Hard Disk Cafe
in exclusive New York City,
trying hard not to stare through
her see-through blouse.

line 167:  Perhaps you should take the initiative, Larry.
You've been sitting there for over a minute now.
Try something!

line 180:  "You know, Larry,
it's nice just sitting here with you,
but I'm going to have to run.
I've got a big, uh, er, `bored' meeting I'm late for.
Maybe I'll see you around, eh?"

line 193:  "Wait, Michelle!" you cry as she leaves,
"I've still got a few things left to say..."

line 200:  Well, Larry, you "blew" that one!

line 204:  Hanging your head in shame,
you wander back to the lobby.

line 333:  Oh, NOW you get her drift!

line 337:  You're almost sorry you're recording all this.
What will the boys in Hollywood think?

line 340:  What a shame you didn't get this on tape, Larry!

line 371:  You more than willingly give all your money to
Michelle!

line 376:  xxx You won't need those credit cards,
so you gladly offer them to Michelle,
in return ?to? more of the same!

line 382:  Leafing through your DayTrotter05 with Michelle,
she expresses an interest in some of those cryptic numbers
listed beside the notation "Swiss Accounts."
You allow her to keep the book,
since you have no interest in chocolate.

line 389:  After a few more minutes with Michelle,
you stagger to your feet and attempt to walk back
to the Hard Disk Cafe lobby.

line 459:  "Oh, Larry. Don't you just love stiff cream?"

line 513:  "Well, there goes her cherry," you think.

line 528:  "Oooooh, Larry!" says Michelle.
"I know a way we can `increase your interest!'"

line 538:  (What does she mean by that, Larry?)

line 542:  "You're a `software' kind of guy and
I'm a `hardware' kind of girl," she says.
"How about if I `download onto your hard disk?'"

line 553:  "I have an idea, Larry.
Why don't I make our booth a little more private."

line 570:  "Would you be interested in this?" you ask.
"It's `my' personal organizer and contains a list of all
`my' Swiss bank accounts, off-shore deposits, and
international funds."

line 574:  "Well, I don't know," she pretends to hesitate.

line 582:  "Why, yes," she says with a big smile,
"I'm sure I could `invest' these for you tomorrow!
Trust me!"

line 600:  "Would you be interested in this?" you ask.
"These credit cards would surely be useful to you
if you ever need to withdraw funds.
You know, cash advances, things like that?"

line 606:  "Oohh," she squeals,
"perhaps I haven't mentioned how much I enjoy
these things!"

line 624:  "I also have this little bit of cash on me,"
you say, offering it to her.
"Could you make some investments for me with this?"

line 629:  "Oh, could I?!" she cries.
"As my friend, Donald Tramp says, `cash is king!'"

line 649:  "Did I mention my name?" you ask.
"I didn't think so. My name is Larry; Larry Laffer."

line 651:  "Good evening, Lawrence," she says,
"I'm Michelle Milken, program-trading specialist and
sometime computer hobbyist."

line 661:  "I'm really into computers," you say,
exposing wisdom beyond your years.
"In fact, I've written a couple of very successful
computer games. At least, I think I have."

line 667:  "Oh, really," says Michelle.
"Does that mean you have lots of money?"

line 675:  "I make a nice living, er, well, that is,
I think I did!" you say. "But now I'm not so sure.
You see, I've been having a little trouble lately with amnesia.
So what is it that you do?"

line 681:  "I laugh all the way to and from the bank!"
she says with a grin. "I'm a junk bond dealer."

line 690:  "So, what does a junk bond dealer do?" you ask.

line 693:  "Whatever she can," Michelle replies cryptically.

line 700:  "I've been hearing lots of good things recently
about junk bonds," you say.
"Would you recommend them as an integral part of my
portfolio?"

line 706:  "Junk bonds, eh?" she warms perceptibly.
"Why I was just telling a friend about them today.
Yes, I think they would be perfect for someone like you!"

line 715:  "Really? I always thought investments like that were
too risky for an ordinary guy like me!"

line 719:  "Larry, no one I know would ever admit to
thinking that you are in any way, shape, or form, `ordinary!'"

line 727:  "So,
do you have any cash-equivalent funds lying about,
just gathering whatever conservative interest rate you're
presently earning?"

line 737:  "Well, no, Michelle, I don't," you say.

line 744:  "Michelle, I just thought of something!" you say.
"I might just have lots of royalties waiting for me
from my last job.
Of course, I can't quite remember if I do or not,
but it is something to consider."

line 751:  "And consider it I do, Larry," Michelle replies.
"In fact, perhaps I could open your account right now."

line 760:  "Huh? Well, oh, I don't... Ohhh!"
you say as a big smile crosses your lips.
"Well, okay, Michelle, have it your way!"

line 783:  Michelle Milken

line 791:  You can see why this woman made the finals back at
good ol' PornProdCorp!
She has to be one of the sexiest babes YOU'VE ever seen!

line 794:  (But she sure has a funny way of eating ice cream!)

line 797:  While you may wish to reach across the table and just
grab her, your professionalism to your mission and your
employer prevent such blatant, crass behavior.

line 802:  "Hmmm," says Michelle, with a coy smile,
"that's an idea!"

line 823:  Yeah, that ought to impress her, Larry.
Give her a napkin that she could pick up off any
table in the building!

line 828:  "Oh, no thanks, Larry," responds Michelle.
"I have no idea what I'd do with that."

line 851:  her eyes

line 852:  Her sultry eyes burn into your soul.

line 868:  her mouth

line 869:  Her lips are moist and inviting.

line 892:  You love ice cream. Especially ice cream that's sitting
where THAT ice cream is!

line 894:  the ice cream

line 906:  her cherry

line 907:  Her cherry looks soft, red, ripe and ready for the
picking!

line 927:  her breasts

line 933:  "You really enjoy staring at me there,
don't you, Larry?"

line 937:  "There's plenty of time for that later, Larry!"

line 956:  her face

line 962:  This is a face you could dream about, Larry!

line 966:  "I like it when you stroke my face, Larry!"

line 984:  Michelle Milken









600.SC 
------

line 46:  The Shill Building is one of Baltimore's finest office
buildings.
Its granite, brass and stainless steel facade
shines in the sunlight.
A revolving door promises access to its interior.

line 181:  "Get your hands off me!" you shout.
"That's not what's meant by `personal driver!'"

line 204:  Squirming across the leather seat,
you grab the door handle, fling open the door,
and escape the limousine (and that chauffeur)!

line 296:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Patti.

line 298:  Save

line 299:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 300:  AL says

line 359:  the flag

line 360:  The Shill Building's management is so patriotic!

line 370:  the flag

line 371:  The Shill Building's management is so patriotic!

line 388:  the revolving door

line 389:  This revolving door is a highlight of the entrance
to the Shill building.

line 451:  the limousine

line 452:  Your limousine waits for your return.
Inside, your driver is still smarting from your arrival!
You feel sure he has learned his lesson.

line 476:  the fire hydrant

line 477:  How do dogs spell relief? "H-Y-D-R-A-N-T"

line 488:  the car

line 489:  You wonder which Shill Building office drone drives
such a junky car?

line 502:  the Shill sign

line 503:  Patti, it says "SHILL."

line 518:  the reflection

line 519:  Don't stare at the sun, Patti! You'll go blind!









610.SC 
------

line 33:  The Shill Building is one of Baltimore's finest office
buildings. 
Its granite, brass and stainless steel facade 
shines in the sunlight.
A revolving door promises access to its interior.

line 114:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Patti.

line 116:  Save

line 117:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 118:  AL says

line 137:  the flag

line 138:  The Shill Building's management is so patriotic!

line 148:  the flag

line 149:  The Shill Building's management is so patriotic!

line 166:  the revolving door

line 167:  This revolving door is a highlight of the entrance 
to the Shill building.

line 220:  the limousine

line 221:  Your limousine waits for your return.
Inside, your driver is still smarting from your arrival!
You feel sure he has learned his lesson.

line 245:  the fire hydrant

line 246:  How do dogs spell relief? "H-Y-D-R-A-N-T"

line 257:  the car

line 258:  You wonder which Shill Building office drone drives 
such a junky car?

line 271:  the Shill sign

line 272:  Patti, it says "SHILL."

line 287:  the reflection

line 288:  Don't stare at the sun, Patti! You'll go blind!









620.SC 
------

line 168:  You are staring at the Shill Building's lobby
directory. Evidently, the building's management ran
short of those little push-in letters.

line 172:  The lobby of the Shill Building is very elegant.
A wonderful mural covers the vast rear wall.
A sleepy guard "works" at a security counter.

line 249:  "Yes?" mumbles the sleepy guard,
"You need somethin'?"

line 280:  As you begin to speak,
you realize you don't know the room number of
Reverse Biaz's office.

line 284:  "Nice outfit you're wearing, Mister!"

line 288:  "Honey, if you don't know where you're going,
how am I supposed to know?"

line 315:  "Excuse me," you say to the sleepy guard,
"Would you please direct me to the offices
shown on this LCD readout?"

line 320:  "Excuse me, Sir," you say to the nappy guard,
"I can see you're quite busy,
but could you help me find the office shown
on the fax?"

line 326:  "Excuse me," you say to the narcoleptic guard,
"Would you please direct me to the office
shown on this LCD readout?"

line 331:  "Excuse me, Sir," you say to the worn-out guard,
"I can see you're quite busy,
but could you help me find the office shown
on this fax?"

line 337:  "Excuse me," you say to the well-rested guard.
"I'm here to see Mr. Biaz in Room 900."

line 346:  "Lady, I already told you:
Reverse Biaz says
`you blew the gig when you split'--whatever
that means!"

line 357:  "Hey, pretty cool!
I was thinkin' about gettin' one of these for
the little missus!
Now, let's see... Biaz? Suite 900?
Sure, no problem.
I'll summon the elevator for you right now!"

line 375:  "Hey, pretty cool!
I was thinkin' about gettin' one of these for
the little missus!
Now, let's see... P. C. Hammer?
I'm sorry,
but there's nobody by that name in this building."

line 390:  "Kinda flimsy paper, ain't it?
Well, let's see here...
You know, it's hard to read this stuff;
the text is all fuzzy looking.
Oh, here it is, Biaz?
Why he's in Suite 900.
Sure, no problem.
I'll summon the elevator for you right now!"

line 410:  "Kinda flimsy paper, ain't it?
Well, let's see here...
You know, it's hard to read this stuff;
the text is all fuzzy looking.
Hmm... P. C. Hammer?
Nah, they only let us use screwdrivers and pliers
on the computers here!"

line 425:  "Huh? Oh, right.
Give me just a second while I make sure he's in,"
sighs the overworked guard.

line 475:  "I'm sorry,
but he says he's found someone else.
Take a hike!"

line 485:  "Ok, honey.
He's waiting for you upstairs.
I'm calling for the elevator for you right now."

line 573:  __allowe____ Supplies________827

line 578:  Hell___ Industries___________301

line 583:  __uck You___________________702

line 588:  des Rever Records_________900

line 593:  Shi___ Heads________________400

line 598:  AeroDork Corp._____________501

line 603:  Big Butt____s_Inc.__________251

line 608:  Hard Di__k Service________601

line 719:  the guard

line 751:  "I'm sorry, lady,
but that don't mean nothing to me."

line 773:  Aren't guards just so precious when they're asleep!

line 778:  The guard is sleeping on the job.

line 780:  The guard would prefer to be sleeping on the job.

line 785:  "Oh, Ma'am," sighs the guard,
"that feels good!"

line 790:  The guard grumbles under his breath and goes back to
sleep.

line 795:  Geez, Patti! Try to trim back that attitude, okay?

line 819:  the elevator

line 825:  An elevator awaits you. 
But how do you access it?
There are no buttons on the wall.

line 830:  You push your hand against the elevator door,
but it does no good.
And, there are no buttons nearby to push.

line 849:  the elevator

line 881:  the Shill Building's directory

line 906:  the directory

line 911:  Halloween Supplies is Baltimore's largest local supplier
of Halloween goods and party supplies.

line 934:  the directory

line 939:  Hello Industries is one of the worlds' leading
producers of greeting cards.

line 962:  the directory

line 967:  Duck Youth is a wonderful public service organization
that specializes in familiarizing inner-city youngsters
with all varieties of barnyard and aquatic fowl.

line 991:  the directory

line 998:  That's it, Patti!
"des Rever Records" is located in Room 900.

line 1026:  the directory

line 1031:  Ship Heads, Inc. provides the finest commodes available
for seagoing naval vessels.

line 1054:  the directory

line 1059:  AeroDork is a very high class airline.
So high class their offices are forbidden to the public.

line 1082:  the directory

line 1087:  Big Buttons, Inc. supplies buttons of all sizes for
every occasion: political campaigns, birthday parties,
fund raisers, software company identification, etc.

line 1111:  the directory

line 1116:  Hard Disk Services can handle all of your computer hardware
needs--from correcting corrupted database files,
to undeleting sensitive information,
to recovering formatted hard drives.

line 1141:  the plant

line 1142:  This plant is obviously well maintained,
but superfluous to your mission.

line 1154:  the mural

line 1155:  It is quite an interesting mural.

line 1169:  the staircase

line 1170:  A staircase winds its way upwards, but a velvet rope
across the bottom indicates it's not to be used under
penalty of law.
It looks like the elevator is your only hope, Patti.

line 1179:  Since the staircase is presently being renovated,
you are unable to use it.
Besides, you know how much you hate climbing stairs in heels!

line 1199:  the lamp

line 1200:  A lovely Art Deco lamp rises above the staircase.

line 1214:  the lamp

line 1215:  A lovely Art Deco lamp rises above the staircase.

line 1231:  the ashtray

line 1232:  Carefully examining the ashtray for a disco pass,
for a brief moment you think you're playing
"Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards."
Of course, you're not.

line 1241:  Carefully examining the ashtray for a disco pass,
for a brief moment you think you're playing
"Leisure Suit Larry 1: In the Land of the Lounge Lizards."
Of course, you're not.

line 1263:  the sconce

line 1264:  My, the Shill Building has tasteful sconces.

line 1279:  the sconce

line 1280:  My, the Shill Building has tasteful sconces.

line 1295:  the clock

line 1296:  A lovely Deco time clock is built into the end of the
Security Guard's counter for those employees still
paid by the hour.

line 1313:  the mural

line 1314:  What? Patti!
When did you develop an interest in other women?

line 1321:  You would, but you have no ladder!

line 1334:  the guard









640.SC 
------

line 225:  The waiting room is filled with an impressive
array of recording memorabilia.

line 333:  Wriggling the gold record on its plaque,
you discover it is loose enough to be removed.
So you do.

line 336:  You've wanted to have a gold record ever
since you began playing professionally at age thirteen.

line 338:  (But you never dreamed you would get it like this!)

line 398:  Amidst the hiss and crackle of this old LP,
you can just barely make out a husky female voice saying,
"Porn is best at a quarter a whack!"

line 412:  Of all the nerve!
des Rever Records imprints subliminal messages
encouraging young Americans to frequent adult bookstores!

line 420:  At least you've found some good solid evidence for
Inspector Desmond.

line 448:  Although the music sounds quite garbled backwards,
you feel certain you can understand the words, 
"Just Say Yes!"

line 462:  "Just Say Yes!"
Why, that's just the opposite of what Nancy Reagan said!
You now have the incontrovertible evidence Desmond sent you
to find!
And you finally understand what evil this place does!

line 472:  How vile. How corrupt!
des Rever Records records backwards music urging innocent
teenagers to violate the law!
You never really believed this before--but you believe it now!

line 481:  If you could only obtain more
evidence to prove your case.

line 509:  Although it seems improbable,
you feel sure you can understand a message among
the speeded-up music:
"Digital Audio Tape causes impotence."
How odd.

line 525:  (Hmm.
This must be a "pre-Sony" Columbia recording!)

line 553:  Well, that's interesting.
You've always wondered whether those were really records
underneath all that "gold."

line 764:  The record player is STILL stopped!

line 767:  You should see how well it stops when there's a
record on it!

line 828:  This turntable is pressure-sensitive.
It will not turn without a record present.

line 877:  This turntable is pressure-sensitive.
It will not turn without a record present.

line 923:  The turntable is now prepared to revolve thirty-three
and one-third times per minute.

line 925:  (But only when it's ON!)

line 967:  The turntable is now prepared to revolve
seventy-eight times per minute.

line 969:  (But only when it's ON!)

line 1007:  "Patti, I promise you:
you'll never work in this town again!"

line 1098:  the stereo

line 1136:  the plaque

line 1143:  One of des Rever Records' gold records
is mounted on a simulated solid walnut plaque.

line 1146:  Once this plaque contained a gold record.

line 1175:  the gold record

line 1186:  It says,
"This gold record is awarded to `des Rever Records.'"

line 1204:  the stereo

line 1233:  the elevator

line 1234:  This is the elevator in which you arrived.

line 1245:  "Where are you going, Patti?
There are a lot of people in this town who would
love a chance to blow this session.
I was happy to give you the gig.
But, if you leave me now,
I promise you I'll be on the phone to the Union
before you're downstairs!"

line 1274:  Reverse Biaz

line 1279:  This is your man: Reverse Biaz,
chief engineer of `des Rever Records' and
the man you've been sent to investigate.

line 1287:  The double-paned, soundproof glass prevents
him from hearing you.

line 1294:  It's difficult to do anything through this glass.

line 1299:  You don't pour THROUGH glass,
you pour INTO glass!

line 1303:  He's probably not going to break that
double-paned, soundproof glass to accept it, Patti!

line 1309:  Gee, Patti, he IS cute--but aren't you here for
business?

line 1313:  There's nothing you can do with Reverse Biaz from
out here.

line 1327:  the turntable

line 1333:  What an unusual turntable;
it still has a 78 rpm setting.

line 1337:  The turntable doesn't require a push start.

line 1370:  the gold record

line 1376:  Round and round and round it goes.

line 1378:  Why don't you take it for a spin?

line 1383:  Don't remove the gold record while it's spinning!

line 1409:  the tone arm

line 1415:  That stylus is really "getting in the groove."

line 1417:  The tone arm rests gently in its holder,
awaiting your next action.

line 1448:  Bring the turntable up to speed before applying
the cartridge.

line 1452:  Don't do that! You'll wreck the stylus.

line 1472:  the speakers

line 1477:  A small plaque on the rear of the speaker reads,
"Digital Ready."

line 1511:  the speakers

line 1516:  A small plaque on the rear of the speaker reads,
"Digital Ready."

line 1554:  the studio door

line 1555:  A small plaque on the door reads, "Studio A."

line 1564:  the Reverse button

line 1575:  This button is marked "Reverse."

line 1592:  the Stop button

line 1603:  This button is marked "Stop."

line 1620:  the Forward button

line 1631:  This button is marked "Forward."

line 1648:  the 33 button

line 1659:  This button is marked "33."

line 1676:  the 78 button

line 1687:  This button is marked "78."

line 1708:  the statue

line 1709:  This sculpture represents the patron saint of recording
companies--  St. Needle.

line 1722:  the left speaker

line 1723:  This transducer converts electrical energy into
rapidly pulsating sound waves.

line 1736:  the right speaker

line 1737:  This transducer converts electrical energy into
rapidly pulsating sound waves.

line 1752:  the plant

line 1753:  Upon close examination, you determine this is a plant.

line 1767:  the shelves

line 1768:  The office's shelves are filled with records, tapes,
and books.

line 1783:  the record jackets

line 1784:  Many famous record album jackets adorn the walls of
the office of des Rever Records.

line 1799:  the record jackets

line 1800:  Many famous record album jackets adorn the walls of
the office of des Rever Records.

line 1850:  Reverse Biaz

line 1900:  the gold records

line 1901:  These gold records are firmly attached
to the wall.

line 1908:  You are unable to remove this gold record
from its plaque.

line 1923:  A speaker crackles in the background...

line 1924:  "Hello, out there!
You must be Passionate Patti!
Everything's all ready for your cut-in session.
Just come on into the studio, I'm waiting for you."









660.SC 
------

line 153:  after recording

line 192:  At last you are alone with Reverse Biaz.
Now what are you going to do to obtain Desmond's
"hard evidence?"

line 196:  You've wanted a chance to play a Farelight 2000
ever since you first heard one. Now's your chance!

line 200:  des Rever's recording studio contains a myriad of
recording equipment.
There are microphones, boom stands, road cases, and
cables everywhere!

line 209:  You're here as a keyboard player, Patti.
So play!

line 252:  des Rever Records' recording studio reminds you
of your last studio session,
a big two-CD recording of background music for a
computer game named "Leisure Suit Larry 4."
And of that big contract you signed with a
mysterious someone known only as "Julius,"
who never paid you one red cent for any of your work!

line 259:  You grimace and silently hope this session goes better.

line 263:  "Why, hello there!
Patti, I'm Reverse Biaz,
Chief Engineer here at des Rever Records.
I'm not sure exactly what happened to my regular synthist,
but I sure appreciate you jumping in here to help us out
like this.
I'm sure you'll have no trouble with these tunes."

line 280:  "The synth is programmed, the charts
are on the music stand, the levels are checked and I'm ready
when you are, baby!"

line 335:  "Go ahead, Patti.
The synthesizer is on that stand. It's all yours."

line 436:  NoteCount = %d

line 440:  "OK, Patti.
Just read the chart there on the stand.
We'll take it from a few bars before your entrance.
Listen for the clicks, then cut in your solo."

line 451:  "That's not quite what the boss is
looking for, Patti, baby.
I'm gonna roll again from the top.
Let's have a little more feeling, okay?"

line 461:  "Well, Patti, I suppose you
just wanted to hear it that time, eh?
Well, now you've heard it,
so this time really let me have your best shot!"

line 474:  "That's a little TOO sparse,
Patti-cakes, babydoll.
Let's take it at the upper-left corner, okay?
And this time, how about a little more intensity,
okay, kid?"

line 483:  "Well, that was fairly outside!
Let's give it one more shot, babe. Here we go!"

line 496:  Play the white synthesizer keys by typing the 
keys on the A S D F row.
Play the black synthesizer keys by typing the
corresponding keys on the W E T Y U row.
Holding down the Shift key plays higher.

line 502:  A Tip from Al Lowe

line 558:  "Take %d!"

line 823:  "Why don't you come into the control room now
and listen to the playback with me?"

line 830:  "Great take, Patti!
Why don't you come into the control room now
and listen to the playback with me?"

line 903:  "Here you go, babe. Check this out!"

line 973:  "Nice playing, Patti," he smiles,
"I bet you have wonderful technique!"

line 988:  "Well, Patti," Reverse says,
"I've got another session starting soon.
You're going to have to go now; I've got to get to work!"

line 998:  After failing in your attempt to get evidence from
Reverse Biaz, you return to your limo.

line 1043:  "What would you say if I proposed a toast,
Mr. Biaz?"

line 1049:  "Why, Patti!" he replies with a grin,
"I'm always interested in sharing a glass of champagne
with a beautiful woman!"

line 1060:  "To you, Patti!" he proposes a toast.
"And to many more successful sessions together!"

line 1112:  Ahh! A pleasant vintage," he sighs,
"but it's a little warm, isn't it?"

line 1122:  "Well, possibly so," you say in its defense,
"but then, you don't know where it's been!"

line 1127:  "Here, Mr. Biaz," you say, "have a little more."

line 1151:  "One more won't hurt, Mr. Biaz," you say,
using a technique on him that's worked more than
a few times on you.

line 1156:  "No, but I'd love to hear!"

line 1159:  "I've shown you my work;
will you show me yours?"

line 1163:  "Oh, really? How could that be, Reverse?"

line 1191:  "Please, call me Reverse!"
slurs Reverse, "So, Patticakes,
have I ever told you what an important guy I am?"

line 1199:  "Sshaay, thissh issh tasshty!"

line 1205:  "Why, ssshweetie, my ssshtuff's on
more recordsssh than anybody'ssh!"

line 1212:  "Eassshy, ssshugar!" slurs Reverse.
"Lemme find you a sshample!"

line 1250:  "Wait'll ya hear thissh," slobbers Reverse.
"Every ssshong hasssh ssshomething ssshublimal!"

line 1260:  Good job, Patti!
The boys back at the F.B.I. Labs will have a wonderful time
extracting those backwards subliminal messages from
Biaz' tape!

line 1281:  "So, Mr. Biaz, I understand you're quite a
successful recording engineer," you say.

line 1285:  "I just love studio work," you say with a
knowing smile.

line 1289:  "Why, thank you, Mr. Biaz," you say,
fluttering your lashes,
"I think I was especially inspired today--by you!"

line 1294:  "Oh, that would be wonderful, Mr. Biaz."

line 1297:  "And please, call me Patti!" you say,
ignoring the fact that he has been calling you Patti.

line 1301:  "I'll only be in town a short time, Reverse,"
you say, your voice filled with warmth.
"I'd certainly like to have a little something to
remember you."

line 1309:  "Is there a chance I could get some samples
of your work," you say with a knowing glance.
"In fact, I'd love to `add your work' to my
collection."

line 1320:  "Yeah, I can't complain," he replies.
"I have several `clients' who keep me quite busy."

line 1327:  "Oh?" answers Reverse.
"Well, you did do a nice job on this cut."

line 1334:  Warming noticeably, he continues,
"Well, Patti, I do know a lot of very important people
in the recording business.
I suppose I could drop your name in a few right places."

line 1343:  "Please... call me Reverse!"

line 1352:  "Why, I think that could be arranged,"
he says.
"What is it you're thinking of?"

line 1360:  "I'd be glad to give you some samples
of my work, Patti," he says with a wink,
"if I can have a sample of YOURS!"

line 1387:  More than willing to "serve your country"
(especially with such a hunk),
you throw yourself enthusiastically into your mission.

line 1563:  Eventually, through one sacrifice after another,
you eventually obtain a small cassette tape from Reverse Biaz
containing some of his best work.
It is exactly the evidence you've been seeking.
The boys back at the F.B.I. lab will have a heyday
playing with this one.

line 1595:  the door

line 1596:  This door leads to the control booth--and Reverse Biaz.

line 1603:  You would like to see the control room,
and talk with Mr. Biaz,
but first you want to complete this recording session.

line 1621:  Reverse Biaz

line 1622:  Reverse Biaz is the man the F.B.I. linked to
backwards subliminal message recording at this studio.
But he does looks cute.

line 1633:  "Oooh! Now that feels nice, Patti."

line 1637:  You are unable to touch Reverse Biaz through
that double-paned soundproof glass.

line 1645:  "Patti, I can see your lips moving,
but I don't have an open mike out there.
Just go ahead and play, and we can talk later, okay?"

line 1659:  You don't pour THROUGH glass, Patti,
you pour INTO glass!

line 1666:  "I don't why you're offering me that, Patti.
Did you come to play or come to bargain?"

line 1678:  You have no way to do that through that window!

line 1712:  the control room mixer

line 1727:  the tape reel

line 1735:  You assumed all modern studios recorded directly to
hard disks!

line 1740:  Reverse would prefer you to leave his reels alone!

line 1742:  Those tapes are inaccessible to you--for now!

line 1759:  the tape reel

line 1776:  the tape reel

line 1793:  the tape reel

line 1809:  the VU meter

line 1810:  This meter measures dynamic levels in decibels,
each of which is about 1/10th of a bel.

line 1823:  the key

line 1864:  Wow! It's a Farelight 2000, the highest-tech high-tech
synthesizer keyboard.
You've always wanted one of these for its wonderful
Boesendorfer patch!

line 1868:  Gurn Blanston plays one with "Rex Famine and the
Limestone Buglegs."

line 1873:  You can't play the synthesizer keyboard from inside
the control room!

line 2088:  your synthesizer

line 2089:  This is the synthesizer Reverse Biaz wants you to play.

line 2109:  the music stands

line 2110:  You see a bunch of music stands.
Or is it a flock of music stands?
Or is it a bevey of music stands?
You always forget.

line 2126:  the control room

line 2127:  From his control room, Reverse can see the entire studio.
He can speak to you through the soundproof glass via
a talkback loudspeaker.
He can hear you through the microphones.

line 2143:  the overhead mike

line 2144:  You wonder how many evil recordings were done with
this microphone.

line 2159:  the drum set

line 2160:  As in most studios, the drum set is behind glass to
enhance the separation of his sound from the other
musicians.

line 2180:  the music

line 2187:  This is the song you recorded for Reverse.

line 2189:  This is the song you are supposed to perform.
You DO remember how to play keyboards, don't you, Patti?

line 2195:  You can't reach the music from inside the control
room.

line 2198:  There's no need for you to turn the page, Patti!

line 2217:  the synthesizer control panel

line 2218:  des Rever Records spared no expense programming this
synthesizer for this session.

line 2226:  You can't reach the synthesizer from inside the
booth!

line 2229:  As much as you hate to,
you just can't resist tweaking a patch here and there!

line 2249:  the control room mixer

line 2255:  The control room mixer is covered with a
complicated array of sliders, knobs, buttons,
patch bays and XLR connectors.

line 2260:  You'd love to get your hands on those potentiometers,
but assume Reverse is as particular as most engineers!

line 2279:  the studio control panel

line 2280:  This panel contains many digital reverb and
special effects units, power amplifiers, patch bays
and a copy of last month's Playboy.

line 2317:  Reverse Biaz









690.SC 
------

line 57:  Meanwhile, 
Back at the F.B.I.'s 
Mission Control Headquarters

line 78:  "What's she doing now, Agent Smith?"

line 80:  Inspector Desmond

line 89:  "Well, I dunno, Inspector Desmond,
it's kinda hard to figure out.
Either I'm picking up a lot of RF interference,
or she's consuming way too much fluid!"

line 94:  Agent Smith

line 98:  "Well, I dunno, Inspector Desmond,
it's kinda hard to figure out.
Either she's in a tunnel somewhere near Baltimore,
or she's dilated 3 cm!"

line 103:  Agent Smith

line 120:  After getting Reverse Biaz totally sloshed
(then finishing off the bottle yourself),
you slip out of the control room,
through the studio,
down the elevator
and back to your limo.

line 127:  After "sacrificing" yourself for your country,
you slip out of the control room,
through the studio,
down the elevator
and back to your limo.









700.SC 
------

line 52:  Tramp's Casino is a perfect example of the style of
architecture exemplified by Frank Lloyd Wrong.

line 421:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Larry.

line 423:  Save

line 424:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 425:  AL says

line 470:  "It's certainly too bad that I have no silver
dollars to tip you," you quip to the unamused fellow.

line 480:  "All I have is one silver dollar," you tell
the doorman. "Normally, I'm quite the generous tipper!"

line 490:  Totally out of character for your cheap self,
you decide to give the doorman a generous tip.
"Here you are, my good fellow," you quip,
"take these %d silver dollars.
I'll have no use for them where I'm going!"

line 509:  "Yeah,
Mr. Lowe always says that, too."

line 516:  "Right."

line 522:  "WOW! Come back again, Sir,
and soon!"

line 620:  "Please enter a number less than 10000, ok?"

line 621:  Change Girl

line 627:  "Amazing! What a genius!
What a coincidence!
Congratulations, Sir!
You have correctly guessed the number of which
I have been thinking of.
Here's your ten `Tramp Casino' lucky souvenir
silver dollars."

line 643:  "Aw, too bad! I was thinking of %d."

line 651:  "But feel free to try again any time!"

line 656:  "Please don't confuse them with
REAL money!"

line 692:  the seagull

line 693:  A lonely seagull flies back and forth,
searching for a likely target--you!

line 721:  the limousine

line 722:  Your limousine has returned.
Or, perhaps, one suspiciously like it!

line 744:  the front door of Tramp's Casino

line 745:  A small bronze plaque over the door reads,
"Through these doors pass the greatest people
in the world -- OUR SUCKERS!"

line 762:  the doorman

line 763:  Tramp's Casino thoughtfully provides a doorman to
satisfy your every travel need--as long as all you need
is for him to summon you a limousine!

line 774:  "May I summon a limousine for you, Sir?"

line 780:  "Well, you're a little ugly,
but I suppose.... Oh, okay. I get off at midnight!"

line 786:  "Thanks for the offer,
but we employees of Tramp's NEVER accept gratuities!"

line 797:  "So? Ya wanna limo or not?"

line 798:  No, thank you

line 799:  Yes, please

line 800:  Your Friendly Doorman

line 803:  "Yes, please... but could you make it back in?"

line 805:  "No problem. Watch this!"

line 810:  "No, thank you.
But I may well come back this way later."

line 824:  the casino greeter

line 825:  Tramp's Casino employs a beautiful young woman
to greet all its distinguished visitors.

line 838:  "Welcome to Tramp's Casino, young man!
I'm here to welcome you because I'm the welcomer,
so `Welcome!'"

line 846:  "Hey, fella! Wanna get lucky?
Guess the number of which I'm thinking of.
You might just win 10 `silver dollars!'"

line 859:  "Hey! I may be standing here on this street
corner, but I'm not that kind of working girl!
Ya want I havta call my boyfriend the bouncer?"

line 881:  the Tramp sign

line 882:  It says you're in front of Tramp's Casino.

line 899:  the slot sign

line 900:  You presume there must be some form of mechanized gambling
within.

line 919:  the light

line 920:  Ain't neon grand!

line 938:  the light

line 939:  Ain't neon grand!

line 957:  the neon nipples

line 969:  You really enjoy this part of the game!

line 972:  You haven't seen neon pasties since the late '60's!

line 978:  You are desperate for entertainment!

line 980:  Cheap feel!

line 984:  Keep your mouth off those!

line 1003:  the neon nipples

line 1024:  the neon nipples

line 1044:  the slot machine sign

line 1055:  That slot machine NEVER stops on a winner!

line 1057:  That slot machine NEVER stops on a loser!

line 1061:  If it's handles you want to pull,
why not go inside?

line 1078:  the slot machine sign

line 1094:  the slot machine sign

line 1112:  the neon sign

line 1113:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1131:  the neon sign

line 1132:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1149:  the neon sign

line 1150:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1167:  the dollar sign

line 1168:  The implication here is that a fella could win some
money inside this place!

line 1192:  the burger stand

line 1193:  How exciting! There's a restaurant along the
Tramp Boardwalk that serves dead cow!

line 1204:  You wouldn't eat there, even if there was a door!

line 1221:  the boardwalk

line 1222:  The boardwalk leads off to the east,
stretching nearly as far as the eye can see.

line 1236:  the beach

line 1237:  That little strip of sand leads to a precipitous drop,
then straight into the Atlantic! Care for a swim?

line 1251:  the lights

line 1268:  the lights

line 1284:  the rear

line 1299:  the rear

line 1300:  Tight butts drive you nuts!

line 1306:  It's only a sign, you know!

line 1309:  "Have you ever heard of `yodeling up the canyon?'"
you ask the sign.

line 1343:  the rear

line 1358:  the girl on the sign

line 1359:  Sure she's only made of plywood, but doesn't she
have a great set of lights?

line 1366:  Touch all you want. She's only a sign!

line 1369:  "I'm so horny, I'd talk to a sign,"
you say to yourself.

line 1387:  the girl

line 1388:  She's in one of your favorite positions... for a sign!

line 1394:  "I'd love to click my cursor on you, Baby,"
you think.

line 1398:  "Wanna get together somewhere after the game?"
you ask the sign.

line 1416:  the girl

line 1417:  And you were so afraid you were wasting your
money buying this game!

line 1424:  "I'll bet she really likes this," you think.

line 1427:  "I'm available tonight," you tell the sign.
"At least, I think I am!"

line 1446:  Change Girl

line 1489:  Doorman

line 1544:  the Tramp sign

line 1545:  It says you're in front of Tramp's Casino.

line 1558:  the light

line 1559:  Ain't neon grand!

line 1573:  the light

line 1574:  Ain't neon grand!

line 1595:  the slot sign

line 1596:  You presume there must be some form of mechanized gambling
within.

line 1611:  the neon sign

line 1612:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1626:  the neon sign

line 1627:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1641:  the neon sign

line 1642:  How you love gaudy things!

line 1656:  the dollar sign

line 1657:  The implication here is that a fella could win some
money inside this place!









710.SC 
------

line 2:  Tramp Casino

line 43:  Tramp's Casino has spared no expense to create the
ultimate in tasteless luxuriant opulent detrius.
Video poker machines surround you to such an extent
you are unsure how to walk around them.

line 221:  xxx It's closed.

line 296:  the gambler

line 297:  All of these gamblers look compulsive to you.

line 310:  Leave them alone, Larry; they're concentrating
on losing.

line 442:  the painting

line 448:  You find the casino's artwork totally tasteless...

line 449:  ...and fascinating!

line 452:  Don't touch those paintings!

line 469:  the painting

line 475:  You find the casino's artwork totally tasteless...

line 476:  ...and fascinating!

line 479:  Don't touch those paintings!

line 496:  the roulette tables

line 497:  You don't know how to play roulette.

line 503:  You? Play roulette? HA!

line 506:  The roulette players are too busy to talk to you.

line 511:  Save your money, Larry!
You'll only lose anyway!

line 534:  the blackjack tables

line 535:  Blackjack is just not your game.
You can remember that much from "Leisure Suit Larry 1!"

line 542:  If you want to play blackjack,
buy "Leisure Suit Larry 1!"

line 544:  (Another fine Al Lowe game!)

line 547:  The blackjack players are too busy to talk to you.

line 552:  Save your money, Larry! You'll only lose anyway!

line 575:  the chandelier

line 576:  Isn't it wonderful what they're doing
with polymers these days?

line 583:  You try your best, but just can't reach the
chandelier from your current (low) altitude.

line 602:  the chandelier

line 603:  Isn't it wonderful what they're doing
with polymers these days?

line 619:  the ballroom entrance

line 620:  It appears a crowd has gathered inside
the exclusive Tramp Ballroom.

line 634:  the statue

line 635:  Naked girls holding balloon bouquets have been a favorite
subject for the world's greatest artists for many
centuries.

line 643:  Larry! She's only a statue!

line 705:  the statue

line 706:  What a set of balloons she has!

line 712:  You find the faux marble cool and exciting to
the touch!

line 733:  the video poker machine

line 738:  The only machines accessible to you are these
progressive video poker machines.
You notice the jackpot is up to $%d!

line 747:  You insert all %d of your silver dollars
into the video poker machine.

line 755:  You have no silver dollars with which to play this
machine.

line 763:  You insert all %d of your silver dollars
into the video poker machine.

line 770:  You have no silver dollars with which to play
this machine.









720.SC 
------

line 2:  Tramp Casino

line 163:  ___________Video Poker Odds 
 
__Progressive Royal Flush___$%d 
 
__Straight Flush____________50 to 1 
__4 of a Kind_______________20 to 1 
__Full House________________10 to 1 
__Flush______________________5 to 1 
__Straight___________________4 to 1 
__3 of a Kind________________3 to 1 
__2 Pair_____________________2 to 1 
__Pair, Jacks or Better______1 to 1

line 178:  Welcome to Tramp's Casino

line 188:  Click on a button instead of where you just clicked.

line 220:  deck

line 249:  Card #%d

line 253:  2

line 254:  3

line 255:  4

line 256:  5

line 257:  6

line 258:  7

line 259:  8

line 260:  9

line 262:  10

line 263:  Jack

line 264:  Queen

line 265:  King

line 266:  Ace

line 271:  Clubs

line 272:  Spades

line 273:  Diamonds

line 274:  Hearts

line 355:  SOMETHINGS WRONG

line 440:  Win:$_____________Bet:$_____________Credits:$

line 447:  

line 448:  %d__

line 458:  

line 459:  %d___

line 469:  

line 470:  %d___

line 565:  the Increase button

line 566:  Click the Hand here to increase your bet.

line 607:  It's too late now to change your bet!

line 616:  You can't bet more than your credits
in the machine.

line 621:  The Tramp Casino poker machines are limited
to bets of $100.

line 639:  the Decrease button

line 640:  Click the Hand here to decrease your bet.

line 678:  It's too late now to change your bet!

line 689:  You must bet something!

line 707:  the Cash Out button

line 708:  Click the Hand here to stop playing this machine.
Your winnings will be given to you automatically.

line 726:  You take your money from the tray.

line 733:  First, finish this hand.

line 749:  the Deal button

line 750:  Click the Hand here to begin a new hand of poker.

line 770:  You have no money and pretend to play the game,
assuming that the other gamblers standing around you
won't notice.
You win zero dollars and have zero fun!

line 790:  the Hold Card 1 button

line 791:  Click the Hand here to hold card #1.

line 831:  the Hold Card 2 button

line 832:  Click the Hand here to hold card #2.

line 872:  the Hold Card 3 button

line 873:  Click the Hand here to hold card #3.

line 913:  the Hold Card 4 button

line 914:  Click the Hand here to hold card #4.

line 954:  the Hold Card 5 button

line 955:  Click the Hand here to hold card #5.

line 1066:  deal

line 1066:  holds

line 1111:   
P R O G R E S S I V E 
 
J A C K P O T___!_! 
 
 
You win %d dollars! 
 

line 1121:  Another Lucky Winner

line 1154:  You sadly walk away, your turned out pockets
telling everyone of your gambling "problem."









730.SC 
------

line 2:  Tramp Casino

line 75:  The Ballroom is pulsating with people -- all of them men.
"Where are the women?" you wonder.

line 428:  The public address system booms through the hall,
"Come on, guys, let's give a great big welcome
to the last contestant in the big
`Tramp This! Wet T-Shirt Contest,'
Miss Jennifer Jiggle!"

line 496:  "And that completes today's matinee, guys!
Come back later today for the wonderful
"Tramp This! Mud Night Madness"
mud wrestling contest!"

line 599:  "C'mon, Larry!
Let's see what you've got!"

line 605:  "What'sa matter, Larry?
Are you a wimp or a mouse?"

line 611:  "What a woosie! Get up here!"

line 616:  "A REAL man would be up here already!"

line 621:  "What's wrong, Big Boy?
Afraid I might win?"

line 627:  "Geez, Larry! What a chicken!"

line 702:  Jennifer Jiggle

line 723:  "Hey, Jennifer! Why don't you really wet down that
T-shirt?" you shout.

line 727:  There's nothing you can use on Jennifer that she
hasn't used on herself already!

line 731:  You really wish she'd take off that shirt,
don't you Larry?

line 746:  Lana Luscious

line 747:  Lana looks much different, now that she's out of her
roller skates and into her element!

line 755:  You'll have to pay first, Larry!

line 758:  "Oh, yeah, Lana? I'm not afraid of you,"
you say quietly.

line 762:  She's waiting for you to climb in that ring and
do exactly that!

line 778:  her robe

line 779:  She threw away her robe!

line 790:  the mud wrestling ring

line 791:  Welcome to "Tramp This! Mud Night Madness"
mud wrestling ring.

line 804:  the ropes

line 805:  Welcome to "Tramp This! Mud Night Madness"
mud wrestling ring.

line 817:  the bouncer

line 818:  You feel certain this bouncer is not nearly as wise
as you in the ways of women.

line 827:  The gentleman blocking your path will be glad
to allow you to pass -- for a price.

line 830:  Since you've paid, he now treats you with all
due respect.

line 833:  (Evidently you have none due!)

line 837:  He'd bounce you a long way if you tried that!

line 843:  Ballroom's closed, Mac! Beat it, before I lose my sense
of humor.

line 851:  "There's one good seat down front,
right at ringside!"

line 858:  $25.00, that's the cover charge and ya ain' gettin'
in fer less!

line 864:  Plenty o' good seats lef, Bud! Butcha ain' gettin'
past me 'lessen ya pays ma price!

line 874:  "You wanna chance to play wit' da goirls?
It'll cost ja $500.00, please!
Up front.
No refunds when ya get beat!"

line 882:  If ya wanna watch, I kin letcha in for a measly
$25.00. If ya wanna participate, it'll cost ya 5
big ones! (Need I mention it's worth it, too!)

line 907:  "What's it gonna be?"

line 909:  I'll just watch

line 910:  Let me at 'em!

line 921:  "Ya paid yer money. Now sit down!"

line 926:  "Ya paid yer money. Now get in there!"

line 936:  "Excuse me, sir," you say to the hopefully
friendly bouncer. "Would it be O.K. if I only
paid you $%d.00? I seem to be a little short!"

line 942:  The bouncer scowls at you.

line 944:  Yeah, and not just in that wimpy little fake
eelskin wallet, Donkeydoo. Get out of here!

line 951:  "Hello, Mister," you say to the bouncer.
"I'd like to purchase one of your better seats.
Here's my $25.00."

line 956:  Thanks for nuttin'. Ya get the best seat in
the house -- which presently is also the only
seat in the house!

line 964:  "Hello, Mister," you say to the bouncer.
"I'd like to participate in the evening's
next event. Here's my $500.00"

line 970:  "Thanks, suck... uh, er, Sir!
Now if you'll kindly step into the ring,
the beatin... ah, uh, the show will begin."

line 977:  "Thanks, suck... uh, er, Sir!
Now if you'll kindly sit down,
the beatin... ah, uh, the show will begin."

line 1062:  Bouncer

line 1109:  Lana

line 1167:  the stage

line 1168:  The stage is where all the action takes place.

line 1174:  Of course, you want to go on stage, Larry; but
first you must pay the bouncer his due.

line 1193:  the runway

line 1194:  You wonder what sort of babes must lie in
wait down that runway.

line 1201:  You can't get on the runway, Larry.
At least not yet!









740.SC 
------

line 47:  Audience

line 127:  Hang in there, Larry. She looks like she's slowing down!

line 133:  Hint: click the hand on any body part you can reach.

line 139:  "Ha, ha, Larry!" Lana cries, "I knew I could take you!"

line 163:  Gosh, Larry! Are you sure you want to go through with
this? Why, your leisure suit might get dirty!

line 178:  She must be waiting for you to take the offensive.
You decide to grab whatever parts of her body you can!

line 180:  (Heh, heh, heh!)

line 266:  her

line 274:  It's her arm! Grab it!

line 277:  It's her arm! Grab it!

line 280:  It's her leg! Grab it!

line 283:  It's her leg! Grab it!

line 286:  It's her head! Grab it!

line 289:  It's her... WHOA! Yeah, grab that!

line 292:  You'd love to grab her there!

line 302:  Oh!

line 305:  Wow!

line 308:  Ooh!

line 311:  Woah!

line 314:  Eeee!

line 317:  Ahhhhh!

line 320:  Gasp!

line 374:  you and Lana

line 375:  You can't see anything down there.

line 380:  You can't grab anything down there!









750.SC 
------

line 143:  As you become more and more aggressive,
Lana becomes more and more passionate,
until the two of you,
oblivious to the hundreds of men staring at you,
roll off the ring onto the floor and begin shedding clothes!

line 271:  How embarrassing!

line 288:  "Oh Lana, I just don't understand!
I suppose it's because Bucephalus has never performed
in front of 900 people before!"

line 291:  You

line 300:  Now you're sorry you even started that camcorder.
What will the boys back in Hollywood think
of your less than stellar performance?

line 306:  You're so glad you didn't get this on videotape!
That's all you need--more humiliation back at the office!

line 324:  You slink out of the ballroom to the hisses and boos
of hundreds of men, each of which is thinking,
"Thank God that wasn't me!"

line 348:  Lana

line 349:  How Lana has changed!
Outside, she was just a beautiful young lady.
In here, she's an animal!









760.SC 
------

line 132:  The commercialization of the lovely Tramp Boardwalk
seems complete.
Businesses line every inch of the far side of the boardwalk.
At least the near side has been kept open for
fishermen and skaters.

line 284:  Be careful, Larry!
You nearly skated right off the boardwalk.

line 659:  Lana Luscious

line 684:  There she is! It's Lana Luscious!!
She looks just like that photo you saw in her resume!

line 711:  There she is! It's Lana Luscious!!
She looks just like that photo you saw in her resume!

line 757:  Mister Z

line 758:  Isn't he the cute one?

line 787:  the old man

line 788:  He's a little old for a rollerskater, eh?

line 818:  Hot Wheels

line 819:  This kid's a real showoff!

line 848:  Rockin' Roller

line 849:  What's he listening to, anyway?

line 878:  Roller Pig

line 879:  What talent! He can eat AND skate at the same time!

line 908:  Bill the Suit

line 909:  He's way overdressed for THIS boardwalk!

line 938:  Kid Dork

line 939:  What a dorky lookin' little guy!
You immediately take a liking to him!

line 969:  the skater

line 970:  You had no idea the boardwalk would have so many skaters!

line 999:  the skater

line 1000:  Never straying far from the shops on the other side
of the Boardwalk, a skater finds true happiness,
blading his little heart out!

line 1051:  the building

line 1060:  This shanty reminds you of "The Shack,"
your favorite collegiate hangout!

line 1064:  What a strange location for a
rocket fuel manufacturing plant.

line 1068:  You haven't seen a slot-car raceway in
years!

line 1072:  The "Salty Dog Saloon" is built upon the
very same location as the old "Pepper Dog Saloon,"
which burnt down years ago in the Great Tramp
Boardwalk Fire of '06.

line 1079:  Wow! In this place you can watch movies
for only 25 cents! What a bargain!

line 1083:  This is one of the last of the juke joints!

line 1086:  You wonder what they sell inside the
"Love Shack."

line 1090:  This house was built here many years ago,
before there even was a Tramp Boardwalk!

line 1094:  Recliners are a very popular item among
any Atlantic City tourists that can still walk!

line 1102:  A sign on the front door reads,
"Shirts? No shoes. No service."

line 1106:  Carlos Escobar has been running this taco
stand ever since he wrecked his van staring at
sidewalk scenery!

line 1111:  You wonder if they have your favorite
poster--the large-size, full-color,
"Bobby Vinton Perspiring!"

line 1116:  The owners of the "Live Girl" shop faring
much better financially since they changed the
name from the "Dead Girl" shop!

line 1121:  If you wanna have fun,
this is the place to do it.

line 1125:  Contrary to popular rumor,
this is NOT a jukebox recycling center.

line 1129:  If you want a CD real bad, this is the place!
They've got some CDs that are real bad!

line 1133:  No boardwalk is complete without the
requisite salt-water taffy store.

line 1139:  Look! It's the skate shop of the
supermarket-famous Ivana Tramp!

line 1151:  Sorry, Larry.
A sign on the door clearly reads,
"No shirt, no shoes, no service".
You're going to have to remove your skates
before entering.

line 1161:  A small sign near the front door of the shop reads,
"Closed in Honor of The Donald's Birthday!"

line 1163:  (You had no idea Donald Tramp's birthday was
a local holiday!)

line 1211:  Lana's right eye

line 1225:  Lana's left eye

line 1240:  Lana's nose

line 1258:  Lana's mouth

line 1276:  Lana Luscious

line 1304:  Lana Luscious

line 1465:  catch

line 1491:  "Oh, Lana," you say in your friendliest voice,
"Lana Luscious!"

line 1493:  "Yes," she replies, hesitantly.
"Who are you?"

line 1500:  "My name is Larry; Larry Laffer," you purr.
"I've come a long way to meet you!"

line 1502:  "And meet me you have, Larry," says Lana.
"Whaddaya say we sit down on that bench over there.
These skates are killing me!"

line 1510:  "It would be my pleasure."

line 1915:  "Skate here often?" you ask.

line 1919:  "Only when I'm trying to find a man,"
she says with a smile.

line 1930:  "So, does that happen often?" you ask.

line 1934:  "Only when I'm here skating,"
she says with a smile.

line 1945:  "I must tell you how much I love your skating
technique," you tell Lana.

line 1951:  "If you like that, you should drop by the
`Tramp This! Mud Wrestling' Show.
I go on in just a few minutes!"
she says with a wink.

line 1964:  "Where is the mud wrestling held?"
you ask.

line 1970:  "Why, it's in the Tramp Ballroom.
The entrance is at the rear of the casino!"
she says.
"And if you bring a few hundred dollars with you, I'll
make sure it's an experience you'll never forget!"

line 1980:  (You now understand why Lana made the top three
finalist back at PornProdCorp!)

line 1992:  "I'll be there, Lana!" you exclaim.
"See you there!"

line 1998:  "Okay, Larry; I'll look forward to it!"
she concludes, standing up.
"Gotta go get out of my makeup!"

line 2006:  (Doesn't she mean "into?")

line 2032:  Lana Luscious

line 2037:  You are sitting on the boardwalk staring directly
into the eyes of a gorgeous, oversexed blond!
If only you could think of something to say!

line 2050:  "Oh, Larry! You know that just drives me crazy!"

line 2055:  "Larry! Here?" says Lana.
"Why don't you come by the Casino later when I'm
mud wrestling?"

line 2062:  "Oh, I have no use for anything you could
possibly offer me, Larry," says Lana.
"Why, when I have total access to this sun-drenched boardwalk,
the fresh ocean breezes caressing my hair,
my smell of the salt water
and ready access to all the mud I want to roll in!"

line 2086:  the boardwalk buildings

line 2087:  The far side of the Tramp Boardwalk is lined
with tawdry, tacky tourist traps.
A bit of blue sky peeks through the buildings.

line 2095:  Almost every building on the boardwalk closed in honor
of a long celebrated local holiday--Donald Tramp's birthday.

line 2115:  the bench

line 2116:  A long row of park benches await your sitting pleasure
along the ocean side of the boardwalk.

line 2163:  the post

line 2164:  These posts hold up the boardwalk.

line 2179:  the post

line 2180:  These posts hold up the boardwalk.

line 2193:  the post

line 2194:  These posts hold up the boardwalk.

line 2207:  the post

line 2208:  These posts hold up the boardwalk.









780.SC 
------

line 34:  Now you've done it!
You're swimming along under the beautiful Tramp Boardwalk,
having a wonderful time.
The question is: how far from shore are you?

line 218:  the sky

line 219:  Looking at the sky, you remember a better time, 
just a few minutes ago in fact,
when you were much closer to the sky
than you are right now.

line 236:  the boardwalk

line 237:  You have a strange sensation--almost 
like you're looking up someone's skirt!

line 251:  the post

line 252:  These posts look much taller than they did from above.

line 258:  You are unable to climb the slimy, 
slippery surface of the pilings.

line 277:  the post

line 293:  the post

line 309:  the post

line 320:  You are swimming beneath the boardwalk!

line 323:  There's no need to dive, Larry.









790.SC 
------

line 47:  You are inside the only open shop along the entire
boardwalk.
You wonder why this place doesn't join in the celebration
of Donald Tramp's birthday.

line 167:  "Hiya, Cutie!" says the older woman behind the
counter.
"Welcome to `Skates, Etc.'
I'm your hostess for your visit, Ivana Tramp."

line 202:  "Hello," you say. "I'd like to rent some skates."

line 205:  "Good idea; you've come to the right place.
My rental fee is quite reasonable,
but there's no use quibbling over such details now.
When you return the skates, we'll settle up based
upon the number of minutes you actually skate."

line 215:  "But, first, I'll need a small deposit
for such valuable equipment.
Let's say (sizing you up), oh, $%d, okay?"

line 226:  "I don't have any money," you say.

line 229:  "Oh? Well, I suppose I'll accept some more of
those damned `silver dollars' from the casino."

line 247:  "You have an inspiration.
"Instead of money, would you accept
this "auto-focus, auto-level, auto-color balance,
auto-zoom, auto-pan, .5-lux,
Complete-Video-Studio-in-a-Pocket-Protector?"
It's called `The Rob Lowe Model,' you know!"

line 255:  "It's the very latest model and was very
expensive," you continue.
"But you've got to promise to give it
back when I return your skates."

line 262:  "Hmmmm," she muses,
"`The Rob Lowe Model?'
Yeah, I suppose that'll do for a deposit."

line 270:  And she takes it from you.

line 286:  "Here's my skates, ma'am," you say,
handing them across the counter.
"May I have my deposit back now?"

line 291:  "Well, I dunno," she hesitates.
"First, lemme inspect 'em for damages."
And she diligently inspects every inch of your skates.

line 303:  "Hey, looky here!
Ya scuffed this wheel!" she shrieks.
"I'm gonna haf'ta dock yer refund %d bucks!"

line 317:  "Hmmm. Well there's a small nick in this
one wheel,
but I guess you can have your camcorder back
anyway, although I was kinda hopin' you'd jes'
keep the skates."

line 351:  Ivana Tramp

line 352:  Ivana Tramp (known locally as "Wheels, The Blademaster")
has plummeted several social levels since her divorce
from The Donald.

line 364:  There's no need to shove her around, Larry;
she's been shoved enough already!

line 368:  Perish the thought!

line 374:  "So, didja have a good time on
them blades, my little `Chicken Fat?'" says Ivana.

line 379:  "Happy rolling!" says Ivana.
"Remember: `keep your tips up!'"

line 386:  "Come back any time!" says Ivana.

line 395:  "I've already quoted you a price,
young man!
Take it or leave it!"

line 407:  "Oh, no money is necessary yet.
We'll settle up when you return the skates!"

line 412:  ERROR--this shouldn't be happening!

line 421:  "Oh, no money is necessary yet.
We'll settle up when you return the skates!"

line 427:  "Thanks for the offer, Cutie-pie,
but I never accept tips!"

line 437:  Would you be willing to settle for
$%d.00?" you ask.
"That's all the money I have!

line 443:  "Hardly," she sniffs.
"But, do you have anything else of value?"

line 449:  "Here you are," you say,
"here's %d of those heavy silver dollars."

line 456:  "Thank you, sir!" she replies,
accepting your money.
"And remember: keep your skates as long as
you wish; enjoy them as you would any other
fine mechanical object.
Just don't wear them off the boardwalk,
for any reason."

line 476:  "Oh, no," says Ivana Tramp.
"that's yours! But, thanks anyway."

line 482:  "Yes? Isn't that cute?" says Ivana.
"You've got your skates.
Why are you showing that to me?"

line 499:  "What's the matter, little buddy?"
asks Ivana. "Are you afraid you'll go outside
on the boardwalk and get `stuck in a crack?'"

line 533:  the skates

line 534:  From the many pairs of in-line skates on this rack,
you feel safe in predicting that this store rents skates.

line 541:  You can't reach the skates, but even if you
could, the owner would break your finger if you tried to
take them without paying.

line 558:  the curtain

line 559:  A beaded curtain blocks your view of the
skate shop's back room.

line 570:  You can't reach the beaded curtain.

line 587:  the poster

line 588:  You presume this poster advertises an amusement park
for insects.

line 602:  the poster

line 603:  So that's what Ivana looked like when she was a redhead!

line 616:  the poster

line 617:  To demonstrate how good these skates are,
the lady in the poster is eating one.

line 631:  the poster

line 632:  This poster advertises roller skate odor eaters.

line 645:  the poster

line 646:  "Keep your in-line skates in line with the all new
`Edlin,' from Ed's Skate Aligning Corp."

line 660:  the poster

line 661:  "Better skating, no waiting."

line 674:  the poster

line 675:  "Nuclear Blades" for those that want to go REALLY fast!

line 688:  the light

line 689:  Ivana has thoughtfully replaced the standard 60-watt
bulb with this new 250-watt halogen.

line 703:  the counter

line 704:  Across this counter pass the world's sharpest
`blades!'

line 718:  the box

line 719:  A wooden crate resides incongruously in the center of the
floor.

line 726:  Although you find the small wooden crate precious,
you really have no desire to carry it with you throughout
the rest of the game.

line 746:  Ivana

line 796:  There's no place here to sit down-- except
that dirty box which might very well soil your
pure white leisure suit.
Perhaps you could find a place outside?









800.SC 
------

line 55:  You are outside the studios of `K-Rap Radio.'
It appears to be an amazingly small building for a
station of such importance.

line 167:  your limousine

line 168:  Your limousine awaits your return.

line 190:  the K-RAP sign

line 191:  High above your head, K-RAP's neon sign illuminates
the Baltimore night.

line 218:  the door

line 219:  K-RAP's doors are always open.

line 230:  the left speaker

line 231:  K-RAP's loudspeakers broadcast the station's current
programming.

line 251:  the right speaker

line 252:  K-RAP's loudspeakers broadcast the station's current
programming.

line 275:  the bush

line 276:  Someone planted these bushes right in the middle of
this busy sidewalk!

line 292:  the bush

line 293:  Someone planted these bushes right in the middle of
this busy sidewalk!

line 308:  the bush

line 309:  Someone planted these bushes right in the middle of
this busy sidewalk!

line 324:  the bush

line 325:  Someone planted these bushes right in the middle of
this busy sidewalk!

line 339:  the mural

line 340:  K-RAP radio has a mural of musicians on their wall.

line 354:  the tower

line 355:  The tower holds the antennas that broadcast K-RAP's
stereo multiplexed signal to millions of people
(some of whom listen!).

line 371:  the trees

line 372:  A clump of white birch trees grows just outside K-RAP.

line 453:  Although you can't see it, 
the K-RAP building is quite impressive when viewed
from the opposite side.

line 463:  From the tiny top floor you just entered,
it stretches hundreds of feet down the hillside,
in a series of cascading terraces, gardens, and patios.

line 473:  Obviously, there's more to this place than
meets the eye!

line 495:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Patti.

line 497:  Save

line 498:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 499:  AL says









820.SC 
------

line 44:  The lobby of K-RAP Radio is quite impressive,
especially for such a small building.

line 107:  You hear the door's lock click.

line 109:  You hear no sound from the door.
That must not have been the correct number.

line 124:  You hear footsteps! Hurry, Patti!
; It's the receptionist returning from her break.

line 148:  the door

line 154:  You hear footsteps! Hurry, Patti!
It's the receptionist returning from her break.

line 161:  The door's tasteful brass plate reads...

line 162:  Mr. John Krapper 
Founder 
Owner 
President 
C. E. O.

line 187:  the plate glass window

line 188:  Through the window you see the night skyline of beautiful
downtown Philadelphia.

line 202:  the receptionist's desk

line 203:  This is the receptionist's desk.
Luckily for you, she seems to be absent right now.

line 217:  the plant

line 218:  A potted plant adds so much to office ambiance.

line 235:  the keypad

line 236:  This keypad obviously controls access to John Krapper's
office door.

line 264:  the potted tree

line 265:  There must be more light in here in the daytime.

line 279:  the planter

line 280:  This planter is near the front door.

line 294:  the rear counter

line 295:  This counter almost looks like a window seat.

line 309:  the lamp

line 310:  You really like this lamp's style.

line 324:  the lights

line 325:  Subtle wall washer floodlights cast a lovely glow over
the supergraphics on the lobby wall.

line 343:  the chair

line 344:  The receptionist's chair is empty,
but still warm to your touch.
She's only been gone a short while,
and may soon return.









840.SC 
------

line 60:  Mr. Krapper's office

line 61:  John Krapper's Office is beautifully decorated in
the latest high-tech look.
Numerous halogen narrow-beam spotlights bathe the otherwise
dark room with small brilliantly-white pools of light.

line 177:  Whew! You made it!

line 208:  the desk

line 216:  John Krapper's granite and stainless steel
desk is spotless.
It holds only a computer and a telephone...

line 220:  ...and a imitation gold-plated needle-sharp
letter opener.

line 223:  ...and a locked file drawer.

line 244:  Never knowing when you might get some mail,
you decide to take Krapper's
letter opener from his desk.

line 251:  Trying the drawers of Krapper's desk,
you find them securely locked.

line 274:  The drawer is already open.

line 277:  You carefully return the letter opener
to the exact same location on Krapper's desk and
make sure the drawer is securely locked.
He'll never even know you touched it.

line 295:  The drawer is already open.
; Perhaps you should return the key to
; where you found it.

line 309:  xxxYou would like to return the folder
but the desk is locked.

line 337:  the potted plant

line 345:  Hmm. This tree could use a good watering.

line 348:  Look!
There's a key almost hidden in the plant's humus.

line 352:  You see a glint of metal coming from the humus
in the pot at the base of the tree.

line 392:  the copier

line 393:  It's a genuine ZeroZ 9000, the lastest in personal
copiers.

line 402:  The copier is now broken!
You should know; you broke it!

line 405:  "To use the `Zeroz 9000,' simply insert the pages
you wish to copy."

line 413:  The copier is now broken!
You should know; you broke it!

line 441:  the copier

line 442:  It's a genuine ZeroZ 9000, the lastest in personal
copiers.

line 459:  the bathroom door

line 460:  A sign on the door says "Krapper's Crapper."
A smaller sign below it says "John's John".

line 473:  Mr. Krapper will surely miss his file folder,
Patti! You'd better return it.

line 477:  Mr. Krapper will surely miss his desk key, Patti!
You'd better return it.

line 481:  Mr. Krapper will surely miss his letter opener,
Patti! You'd better return it.

line 511:  the lobby door

line 512:  This is the door through which you entered.
If you walked out it, you would return to the lobby.

line 546:  the table

line 547:  Krapper has a beautiful glass coffee table.

line 561:  the chair

line 562:  This is the kind of furniture you would buy if you
ever settled down.

line 577:  the sofa

line 578:  What an unusual sofa! You so love modern furniture.

line 594:  the telephone

line 595:  John Krapper's telephone has very few buttons.
He must be REALLY important!

line 602:  You'd better not use this telephone, Patti.
You might get caught by the switchboard operator.

line 624:  the desk computer

line 625:  Look at the dust on that keyboard!
He must never use his computer!

line 632:  You briefly consider booting up John Krapper's computer
in an attempt to contact Inspector Desmond,
but realize there's no way he'd be connected to FBI-net!

line 653:  the window

line 654:  Krapper's office has a giant window looking out over
beautiful downtown Philadelphia.

line 670:  the shelves

line 671:  Krapper's bookcase is filled with items,
all of them useless to your mission.

line 686:  the lamp

line 687:  The small halogen spotlights cast a pure white light.

line 701:  the lamp

line 702:  The small halogen spotlights cast a pure white light.

line 716:  the lamp

line 717:  The small halogen spotlights cast a pure white light.

line 731:  the lamp

line 732:  The small halogen spotlights cast a pure white light.

line 748:  the letter opener

line 753:  There's a needle-sharp letter opener lying on
Krapper's desk.

line 757:  Never knowing when you might get some mail,
you decide to take Krapper's letter opener from his desk.

line 804:  Opening the doorway to carefully peek outside,
you notice the receptionist has returned.
You decide you cannot exit the room that way!

line 847:  Bending over at the base of the tree,
you dig into the humus and find the metallic object
that you saw earlier.
It looks like a desk key.

line 880:  You carefully return the key to its hiding place
in the humus.

line 915:  Peering through John Krapper's personal
(formerly-locked) file drawer, you notice a number
written on a small blue stickum!
Why in the world would he want to remember %u?

line 962:  Where's that little blue stickum?
Oh, here it is! %u

line 1004:  Peering through John Krapper's personal
(formerly-locked) file drawer, you notice a number
written on a small blue stickum!
Why in the world would he want to remember %u?

line 1051:  Where's that little blue stickum?
Oh, here it is! %u

line 1089:  Prying away at the desk's inefficient lock with
Krapper's letter opener, you find a weak spot and
carefully pry the drawer open.

line 1127:  Trying the key you found buried in the tree's pot,
you insert into the desk and turn it carefully. It opens.

line 1163:  xxxYou lock the desk.

line 1206:  Before closing the desk drawer you find some
folders marked "Personal."

line 1236:  Carefully searching through the many drawers
of Krapper's desk,
you find a folder marked "Personal."

line 1242:  For a moment, you wonder if you should take it.

line 1247:  But of course you do!

line 1292:  You return the folder of evidence to Krapper's desk,
close and lock his desk drawer,
being careful to leave everything exactly as you found it.

line 1331:  You place John Krapper's personal papers in his copier,
and press the "Start" button.

line 1366:  "Hey, what's the matter with this thing?" you think.
"Why did it stop working?
What did I do, jam this thing?"

line 1383:  "Oh well, at least I got the most important evidence
copied before it jammed," you think,
grabbing your copies from the machine.

line 1396:  "What does this switch here do?" you wonder,
pulling on something that doesn't belong to you.

line 1401:  (An experience not wholly unfamiliar to you!)

line 1456:  "GREAT!" you think.
"Now just look at me!
I'm covered with toner from head to toe!"

line 1480:  xxx"Oh no," you think, "how am I ever going to
get this stuff off?"

line 1484:  You look yourself over. You like what you see.
"Although, I could stand to lose a few pounds," you think.









850.SC 
------

line 59:  John Krapper's bathroom

line 60:  John Krapper's bathroom lives up to expectations.
Gold fixtures are scattered everywhere.
There are even a pair of gold statuettes on either
side of the "crapper."

line 160:  the shower

line 161:  What appears to be a lovely glass shower rests against
the wall.

line 173:  You don't need a shower right now, Patti.
You're not dirty.

line 175:  (That is, you're not soiled!)

line 192:  the shower

line 193:  Why, look! A lovely glass shower stands against the wall.

line 217:  the office door

line 218:  This door leads back to John Krapper's office.

line 247:  the shower

line 265:  Krapper's crapper

line 266:  Made of hand-carved, gold-flecked marble with a
gold-plated handle and ermine-covered seat,
it's obvious to you this guy really knows his "K-RAP!"

line 276:  You reach over and give the handle a solid push.

line 280:  You reach over and give the handle a solid push.

line 289:  Wouldn't flushing the photocopies be defeating the
whole purpose of your mission?

line 293:  Hey! You might need that!

line 312:  the window

line 313:  A giant plate-glass window looks out over the lovely
glow of downtown Philadelphia at night.

line 334:  the curtains

line 335:  These curtains are only for show; they do not close.

line 355:  the curtains

line 356:  These curtains are only for show; they do not close.

line 376:  the left sink

line 382:  Made of hand-carved, gold-flecked marble with
gold-plated faucets,
you bet this sink alone is worth more than your grand piano!

line 388:  What you really need is a shower.

line 390:  Your hands aren't dirty.

line 408:  the right sink

line 425:  the skylight

line 426:  The ceiling of John Krapper's bathroom is crowned by
a lovely skylight.

line 442:  the statuette

line 443:  This statuette was presented to K-RAP Radio for
excellence in broadcasting!

line 457:  the statuette

line 458:  This statuette was presented to K-RAP Radio for
excellence in broadcasting!

line 493:  Now, that's a good idea, Patti.
Use Krapper's shower to wash that toner
from your hands and face.

line 524:  As you turn what appears to be a gold-plated faucet,
you feel the "shower" begin to move!

line 546:  Where will you end up on this naked adventure?

line 547:  And without your inventory, too!

line 561:  xxx"Oh no," you think, "how am I ever going to
get this stuff off?"

line 565:  You look yourself over. You like what you see.
"Although, I could stand to lose a few pounds," you think.









860.SC 
------

line 62:  Your "elevator" descends through the K-RAP atrium,
past floor after floor of offices.
At least there are no workers here to see you!
This is just like a recurring nightmare of yours....

line 94:  Oh, Patti! You're so em-bare-assed!!









870.SC 
------

line 48:  The studio floor of the K-RAP building is far underground,
filled with soundproof studios and playback speakers.
A large fountain, complete with giant bronze sculptures,
fills the center of the room.

line 145:  You hear no sound from the door.
That must not have been the correct number.

line 158:  the clothes rack

line 159:  You are so glad there's a clothing rack so near the
elevator.

line 175:  the keypad

line 176:  This keypad is similar to those upstairs.
Unfortunately, you don't know the combination to this one.

line 204:  the studio door

line 205:  This door leads to K-RAP's Studio C.

line 220:  the statue

line 221:  How impressive! K-RAP has a fountain filled with a
huge statue of the King of Rock 'n' Roll -- Bobby Vinton!

line 240:  the elevator keypad

line 241:  This keypad is similar to those upstairs.
Unfortunately, you don't know the combination to this one.

line 248:  Since you have no way of knowing Krapper's
personal code, it appears you are trapped down here!

line 269:  the clothes

line 270:  A set of brightly-colored, over-sized rapper's clothes
hangs on the clothes rack, conveniently placed near the
elevator.

line 299:  that "2 Live 2 Screw" dude

line 304:  Inside Studio C, the members of "2 Live 2 Screw"
are carrying on a lively discussion.
If only you could hear their conversation.

line 309:  You are unable to hear those dudes through the
soundproof glass.

line 313:  Patti! You have no interest whatsoever in these guys!

line 316:  They can't hear your offer, and wouldn't be
willing to deal with you anyway!

line 320:  If only you could find some way to overhear their
conversation.

line 333:  that "2 Live 2 Screw" dude

line 346:  that "2 Live 2 Screw" dude

line 362:  the showervator

line 374:  You are far too familiar with the "showervator"
already!
You hope that somehow, some way, you'll be able to
find your way back up to Krapper's office and
to your own clothes!

line 381:  From down here, Mr. Krapper's private elevator
requires his personal access number through the keypad
to the left.

line 386:  While you might want to undress and re-enter the
shower, you can't, as the door is firmly locked.

line 390:  That doesn't seem to unlock the shower door.

line 393:  The showervator is off-limits to you at the moment.

line 407:  the showervator

line 429:  the showervator

line 452:  your naked body

line 453:  Down you come!

line 526:  Checking as much of the downstairs as you can see,
you make sure that no one is coming.
Cautiously leaning out of the showervator,
you grab the set of clothes conveniently hanging on
the nearby clothes rack.

line 569:  Wow! Look at you! It's the all-new,
all-what's-happenin' "Rappin' Patti P!!"

line 571:  With that outfit and your impromptu copier make-up job,
you're all set to blend right in down here!

line 601:  You briefly consider doing what you often do when
you're in the shower,
but soon decide this is neither the time nor the place.

line 606:  You attempt to hike up those Hammerpants you're wearing,
but it does no good!

line 613:  You briefly consider doing what you often do when
you're in the shower,
but soon decide this is neither the time nor the place.

line 618:  Maintaining your cool,
you surreptitiously check the zipper on your giant pants.
It's fine.









880.SC 
------

line 58:  The studio floor of the K-RAP building is far underground,
filled with soundproof studios and playback speakers.
A large fountain, complete with giant bronze sculptures,
fills the center of the room.

line 153:  It's locked.

line 166:  You hear the door's lock click.

line 168:  You hear no sound from the door.
That must not have been the correct number.

line 183:  the door to Control Room A

line 184:  This door leads to Control Room A.
You can see a man working inside.

line 193:  You really don't want to open this door.
Your mission is NOT get caught!

line 213:  the Control Room B door

line 214:  This door leads to Control Room B,
which appears to be empty.

line 231:  the Studio C door

line 232:  This door leads to Studio C.
It appears to be unoccupied at the moment.

line 241:  You really don't want to open this door.
Your mission is NOT get caught!

line 261:  the keypad

line 262:  Each of the doors has a keypad to limit access to
only those with authorization.
This keypad controls access to Control Room A.

line 290:  the keypad

line 291:  Each of the doors has a keypad to limit access to
only those with authorization.
This keypad controls access to Control Room B.

line 320:  the keypad

line 321:  Each of the doors has a keypad to limit access to
only those with authorization.
This keypad controls access to Control Room C.

line 349:  the window of Control Room A

line 350:  Through this window you can see Control Room A.

line 371:  the window of Control Room B

line 372:  Through this window you can see Control Room B.
It appears to be currently unoccupied.

line 394:  the window of Studio C

line 395:  Through this window you can see Control Room C.
It appears to be currently unoccupied.

line 418:  the statue

line 419:  How impressive! K-RAP has a fountain filled with a
huge statue of the Queen of Rock 'n' Roll -- Connie Stevens!

line 436:  the recording sign

line 437:  This sign is illuminated when Studio A is recording.

line 452:  the recording sign

line 453:  This sign is illuminated when Studio A is recording.

line 465:  P. C. Hammer

line 470:  P. C. Hammer is the man Desmond says is linked to
much of the evil doings here at K-RAP radio!

line 472:  It's a good thing your disguise is working out so well.
You certainly wouldn't want him to notice you.

line 476:  You may wish to talk with P. C. Hammer later,
but now is not the time.

line 480:  Stay away from the window, in case P. C. realizes
you're not the woman you seem to be.

line 484:  Patti! Is that all you have on your mind?

line 485:  (Although, he IS kind of cute!)

line 501:  the microphone stand

line 506:  A large, heavy, microphone stand waits for a gig.

line 509:  You really have no use for a microphone stand.

line 510:  (Especially one that must weigh a ton!)

line 513:  Patti!

line 514:  (Besides, wouldn't that steel be cold!?)

line 529:  the recording sign

line 530:  Control Room B's recording indicator lamp is presently off.

line 543:  the recording sign

line 544:  Control Room A's recording indicator lamp is presently off.

line 556:  You attempt to hike up those Hammerpants you're wearing,
but it does no good!

line 561:  Maintaining your cool,
you surreptitiously check the zipper on your giant baggy pants.
It's fine.









890.SC 
------

line 88:  You are inside K-RAP radio's Control Room B.
For such a large room, it certainly looked smaller
from the outside.
The walls are filled with a myriad of recording equipment,
electronic gear, mixers, microphones, recording tape,
etc. etc.

line 179:  Someone has jammed the door shut with a
large, immovable object!

line 240:  Oh, no! P. C. Hammer has noticed the "Recording"
sign over the window of Control Room B,
realized you are not an engineer,
and is heading for your room!

line 273:  Blocking the only way out of the control room with
that heavy microphone stand,
he heads for the elevator!

line 276:  You're in trouble now, Patti!

line 308:  Wait! What's that!!

line 309:  By carefully staring across the lobby through the
control room window, you notice P. C. Hammer punching
his access code into the shower elevator.
From the angle of finger and the movement of his hand,
you learn his secret access code.
Knowing that code, you could escape this area and
return upstairs!

line 316:  Now if you could only find a way out of this
control room!

line 337:  the giant speaker

line 338:  You could swear these are genuine Altec
"Voice of the Theatre" speakers.
You haven't seen these babies in years!

line 356:  the electronic equipment

line 357:  Everywhere you look, you see buttons, switches,
lights, reels of tape, and tape drives.

line 374:  the electronic equipment

line 375:  Everywhere you look, you see buttons, switches,
lights, reels of tape, and tape drives.

line 392:  the left large-hub reel-to-reel recorder

line 398:  This recorder will not operate without a reel of tape.

line 401:  You haven't seen a 2", 24-track, 3"-hub reel-to-reel
recorder in years.
What antiquated equipment!
Where's K-RAP's digital equipment?

line 409:  You are unable to mount your reel's tiny hole
onto this recorder's massive spindle!

line 435:  the right large-hub reel-to-reel recorder

line 452:  the electronic equipment

line 453:  Everywhere you look, you see buttons, switches,
lights, reels of tape, and tape drives.
Unfortunately, they are much too high for you to reach.

line 470:  the electronic equipment

line 471:  Everywhere you look, you see buttons, switches,
lights, reels of tape, and tape drives. Unfortunately,
they are much too high for you to reach.

line 489:  the monitor speaker

line 490:  You could swear these are genuine Altec "Voice of the
Theatre" speakers.
You haven't seen these babies in years!

line 506:  the monitor speaker

line 507:  You could swear these are genuine Altec "Voice of the
Theatre" speakers.
You haven't seen these babies in years!

line 524:  the monitor speaker

line 525:  You could swear these are genuine Altec "Voice of the
Theatre" speakers.
You haven't seen these babies in years!

line 541:  the monitor speaker

line 542:  You could swear these are genuine Altec "Voice of the
;wjh Theatre" speakers.
;wjh You haven't seen these babies in years!

line 560:  the equipment rack

line 561:  This shelf contains a lot of electronic equipment,
most of it old, plus a shelf filled with blank
reel-to-reel tapes.

line 579:  the rack filled with blank tapes

line 580:  Why, here's what you need!
A rack filled with blank, reel-to-reel recording tapes.

line 588:  You have no use for another tape.
Use the one you have!

line 613:  the rack filled with blank tapes

line 614:  Why, here's what you need!
;wjh A rack filled with blank, reel-to-reel recording tapes.

line 622:  You have no use for another tape.
;wjh Use the one you have!

line 647:  the microphone mixer

line 655:  Before you lies an elaborate microphone mixer and
studio control panel console.
The names of the various downstairs studios are
engraved on the potentiometers.

line 661:  This volume control says, "Studio D."

line 664:  This potentiometer says, "Studio C."

line 667:  This slider says, "Control Room B."

line 670:  This pot is labeled, "Studio A."

line 673:  The rest of these are labeled "Carts (A-F),"
"Tables (A-C)," "CDs (A-R)."

line 680:  The console contains many knobs, sliders,
meters and buttons.
Which one will you choose?

line 706:  the microphone

line 707:  A professional-quality, high-fidelity, studio ribbon
microphone hangs from a boom over the studio console.

line 714:  You carefully aim the microphone so it's pointing
just below your mouth.

line 722:  You hear your voice echo through the room's
moniter speakers.
The speakers are amazingly loud;
loud enough to break glass.

line 728:  You carefully check the level of your voice on the
mixer. It's okay.

line 750:  the reel-to-reel tape recorder

line 771:  What's the use of recording silence?
There no signal currently being fed to this deck.

line 777:  The recorder's automatic shut-off prevents it
from operating without a properly mounted tape.

line 785:  The recorder is capturing every nuance of
"2 Live 2 Screw's" conversation.

line 791:  The recorder contains a tape full of
incriminating evidence.

line 795:  This tape is half on the take-up reel.
It needs to be rewound before you can remove it
from the recorder.

line 800:  There is a blank tape on the recorder.

line 805:  A large Studer console recorder is all
warmed up and ready to record--except there's
no tape upon which to record!

line 816:  Your tape is already recorded.

line 843:  the tape

line 844:  A large Studer console recorder is all warmed up and
ready to record -- except there's no tape upon which
to record!

line 859:  P. C. Hammer

line 860:  P. C. Hammer is working in the next Control Room.

line 873:  the glass window

line 874:  A heavy, soundproof, plate-glass window separates you
from the outside--and your freedom!

line 890:  the microphone mixer

line 943:  Taking your biggest possible diaphragmatic breath,
you lean back and belt out your most powerful high C,
directly into the microphone, through the powerful amplifiers
and out through the control room monitor speakers!

line 960:  Is it Patti...

line 961:  ...or is it Memorex?

line 1014:  Punching in the access code you learned by watching
P. C. Hammer, you are able to ride the showervator back
to John Krapper's bathroom.
Luckily, no one noticed your clothes lying on the
floor there.

line 1022:  Putting on your dress and gathering your possessions,
you sneak back to the receptionist's lobby door and wait
for her to take a break before making for the safety of
your patiently waiting limo.

line 1074:  You grab a blank reel of tape from the rack.

line 1104:  You turn on the reel-to-reel tape recorder.

line 1109:  As you record "2 Live 2 Screw,"
you giggle with delight as they thoroughly
incriminate themselves.

line 1121:  What's that? What's P. C. Hammer doing?
He looks like he's seen your "Recording" sign!
And he doesn't look too happy about it.

line 1134:  Oh, oh! Where did Hammer go?

line 1175:  You turn off the recorder.

line 1215:  The tape is now fully rewound.

line 1260:  You remove the reel-to-reel tape.

line 1296:  You bring up the volume control labeled
"Studio D."

line 1299:  You hear nothing but hiss.

line 1302:  You bring up the potentiometer labeled
"Studio C."

line 1305:  You hear nothing but hiss and a little
air conditioner bleed-through.

line 1309:  You pull up the slider labeled "Control Room B"
and hear what sounds like a female breathing.

line 1312:  (Oh, wait! That's you!
You're in Control Room B!)

line 1321:  Since you've cranked it up to the point
of feedback, you can't go any louder!
Besides, it's almost loud enough to
break glass.

line 1326:  You crank up the volume on your control
room's monitor speakers to an
ear-piercing level.

line 1332:  You are eavesdropping on the conversations
from Studio A and to you it sounds just like
"2 Live 2 Screw!"

line 1352:  You fade up the volume on "Studio A" and...
listen to that!

line 1358:  Why, that's "2 Live 2 Screw!" Patti! You did it!
Now you can overhear their conversation!

line 1364:  But how can you bring back evidence to
prove what you are hearing!?

line 1405:  You place your tape on the recorder,
carefully threading it around the tension arms,
over the heads and past the capstan,
finishing by treading the leader onto the takeup reel
with a professional flourish.

line 1429:  the Control Room A door

line 1430:  Be careful, Patti! Inside that door stands the man
you've come here to investigate: P. C. Hammer!

line 1440:  You don't want to try that door, Patti!
The direct approach won't work with P. C. Hammer.

line 1461:  the Control Room B door

line 1462:  A sign on the door reads "Control Room B."
It is currently unoccupied.

line 1479:  P. C. Hammer

line 1480:  Through the control room window,
you see P. C. Hammer mixing his "live" radio broadcast
for tomorrow morning's drive time show.

line 1493:  the microphone stand

line 1494:  A large boom microphone stand sits just outside
the door to Control Room B.

line 1507:  the recording sign

line 1508:  This sign is illuminated whenever anyone is recording
inside this control room.

line 1519:  You attempt to hike up those Hammerpants you're wearing,
but it does no good!

line 1524:  Maintaining your cool,
you surreptitiously check the zipper on your giant baggy pants.
It's fine.









900.SC 
------

line 151:  You vow to get in shape!

line 160:  From up here, you can see the Atlantic Ocean.

line 161:  But looking through the windows, all you can see
is dental equipment and a lot of people wearing smocks!

line 164:  A closed gymnastics studio is on the ground floor,
while a dentist's office occupies the second floor.

line 215:  the palm trees

line 216:  Miami is filled with exotic palm trees just like these.

line 231:  the gymnastics studio

line 239:  It looks like there is no one inside the gymnastics
studio, although the mini-blinds severely handicap your view.

line 243:  You are unable to part the mini-blinds to see inside
since the blinds are commonly placed on the INSIDE of
the glass!

line 264:  the sign

line 265:  The sign reads,
"Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven."

line 281:  the gymnastics studio door

line 289:  The door leading to the gymnastics studio is locked.

line 292:  You try the door and find it is locked.

line 310:  the dentist's office door

line 311:  The door leading to Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven
is unlocked.

line 338:  the building

line 339:  You are outside the building where Chi Chi Lambada
is employed: "Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven."
Immediately below it is a closed gymnastics studio,
"The Gym-Dandy Gymnastics Center."

line 357:  the sidewalk

line 358:  Carefully inspecting the sidewalk,
you conclude Doc Pulliam doesn't spend much on
filling cavities out here!

line 375:  the fence

line 376:  A stone wall decorates an otherwise
perfunctory building.

line 393:  the gymnastic studio sign

line 394:  The sign says, "Gym-Dandy Gymnastics Center."

line 400:  The "Gym-Dandy Gymnastics Center's" sign is made
of virgin polyvinyl chloride.

line 422:  the window

line 423:  You don't need to peek in those windows!

line 440:  the window

line 441:  You don't need to peek in those windows!

line 458:  the stairway

line 459:  A flight of stairs leads up to Doc Pulliam's office.

line 488:  the revolving tooth

line 489:  Take the Ventura Freeway to the Fontainebleau Freeway
to the Eisenhower Turnpike to the Slaussen Cutoff.
Get out of your car and cut off your slaussen.
Get back in your car and continue on until you reach
the Beach Front Highway. Take the Beach Front Highway
to 22nd Street Southwest and stop when you come
to the giant revolving tooth!
You're there! Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven!

line 507:  the limousine

line 508:  It's your limousine, awaiting your entrance.

line 536:  the building

line 537:  There are many buildings in a city as large as Miami.

line 708:  Now would be an excellent time for you to save your
game, Larry.

line 710:  Save

line 711:  Nah, Why Bother?

line 712:  AL says

line 790:  the dentist's office door

line 791:  The door leading to Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven
is unlocked.









905.SC 
------

line 98:  You are inside the waiting room of Doc Pulliam's Dental
Hygiene Heaven.
You love the carpet motif;
in fact, you feel sure you seen something a lot like
it before... somewhere.

line 212:  There is nothing you need to do there.

line 227:  Your teeth feel so clean
you won't need to floss for a month!

line 247:  You would be too embarrassed to walk outside
with that silly doily wrapped around your head.

line 276:  the magazines

line 277:  After glancing at a few of the magazines,
you decide you have no interest in learning
what the stock market will do in 1969!

line 289:  Being totally bored with the AeroDork In-Flight
Magazine, you shove it into Doc's magazine rack,
where it is sure to delight and amaze his primarily
Spanish-speaking customers.

line 318:  the palm

line 319:  You wonder if that palm tree will ever require a
"root canal?"

line 328:  The palm tree feels rough to your touch.

line 365:  the painting

line 366:  You've always been a big fan of the
"Happy Tooth School" of art.

line 381:  the painting

line 382:  You've always been a big fan of the
"Happy Tooth School" of art.

line 397:  Doc's diplomas

line 398:  Funny. You've never heard of a dentist specializing in
"String and Doorknob" dentistry.
And where exactly is the "School of Hard Knockers?"

line 414:  the table

line 415:  You can tell that Doc's wife decorated this place.
She's suffering from terminal cuteness!

line 432:  the chair

line 433:  This chair looks just right!

line 459:  the chair

line 460:  This chair looks too hard.

line 466:  You briefly consider sitting there,
but decide that chair will be much too hard!

line 485:  the chair

line 486:  This chair looks too soft.

line 492:  You briefly consider sitting there,
but decide that chair will be much too soft!

line 511:  the table

line 512:  This table contains a telephone,
placed here for the convenience of Doc's customers.

line 532:  the table

line 541:  There's nothing left on this table
since you took Doc's doily!

line 544:  The only thing on this table is a long, lacy doily.
It reminds you of those long runners your Grandmother
had on her table.

line 552:  You've already taken the doily.
You have no use for the table.

line 592:  the receptionist

line 593:  You thought this might be the babe you've
been searching for. Obviously, she's not.
Not even you could consider this one sexy
(and you know what low standards YOU have!).

line 612:  the waiting room telephone

line 613:  The long table contains a telephone,
placed here for the convenience of Doc's customers.

line 660:  Alberta

line 769:  message= %d

line 787:  Ah! Good idea. This chair looks just right!

line 894:  "Hello, North Beach Limousine Service."

line 895:  "This is Mr. Laffer," you say.
"Would you please send my limousine over to
Doc Pulliam's right away?"

line 901:  "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Laffer.
All of our drivers are on break right now.
Could you call back again in a few minutes?"

line 908:  "Why, yes sir, Mr. Laffer.
In fact, one of our drivers is in that vicinity
right now.
Just look outside.
I bet you'll see her!"

line 916:  "You again?
Why don't you just go outside and get it?!
She's waiting for you!"

line 927:  "Good afternoon.
You've reached Dr. Pulliam's exchange.
I'm sorry, but everyone in their office has
gone home for the evening.
But please feel free to call back tomorrow.
This has been a recording."

line 938:  "Good afternoon.
Dr. Pulliam's office."

line 941:  "Hello?
This is, uh, umm, ah, Dr. `Payne.'
I'm going to have to send over one of my
emergency patients over for Doc Pulliam.
Something's come up and I won't be able to see
him this afternoon.
Could you please see him right away?
Thanks ever so much.
Gotta go; it's tee time!"

line 953:  You already did that.

line 957:  You change your mind and hang up the phone.

line 960:  Hmmm. Wrong number.

line 961:  "Now where did I put that telephone number?"
you ask yourself.

line 987:  the sliding glass window

line 997:  First, hang up the phone.

line 1003:  There is no answer from beyond the sliding
glass windows.
Either they're avoiding you or they've all gone home.

line 1015:  "Go away," a voice cries through the glass.
"You already have an appointment.
We'll see you then!"

line 1024:  Ghostly shapes seem to float on the other side of a
set of frosted sliding glass windows.
There must be someone working back there.
On the window a small Dymo label reads,
"Knock on window for service."

line 1032:  Doc's office is already full of Doc's business cards.

line 1048:  the door

line 1049:  This door leads to the inner offices of Doc Pulliam,
including (you hope) the cubicle of Chi Chi Lambada,
the woman you traveled all this way to "interview."

line 1141:  You rap your knuckles gently on the textured
sliding glass window.

line 1167:  "Oh," she growls, "and
just what do we think we're doing here,
eh, little man?"

line 1175:  "Yeah, what is it?"

line 1191:  "Hello," you say in your most pleasant tone,
"my name is Larry; Larry Laffer.
I wonder if I might get an appointment with one of your
dental hygienists?"

line 1198:  "Hello," you say to the receptionist.
"I'd like an appointment to see one of your
dental hygienists.
I think I'm due for a little oral cavity work
(if you know what I mean)."

line 1212:  "No!" she says, closing the window.

line 1220:  "Yeah, maybe," she replies,
"but first, let's do your paperwork."

line 1240:  "Wait!" you cry, but it's too late.

line 1250:  And she grabs a large piece of paper,
covered with tiny type.

line 1255:  "Okay, sweetie,
let's fill out this lil' ol' admission form together,
now shall we?"

line 1264:  Question #%d

line 1271:  "Do you have dental insurance?"

line 1272:  Yes

line 1273:  No

line 1280:  "Do you have LOTS of dental insurance?"

line 1281:  Yes

line 1282:  No

line 1289:  "Are your teeth overly sensitive?"

line 1290:  Yes

line 1291:  No

line 1298:  "Are you allergic to pain?"

line 1299:  Yes

line 1300:  No

line 1307:  "Do you ENJOY pain?"

line 1308:  Yes

line 1309:  No

line 1316:  "Do you enjoy sharing your pain with others?"

line 1317:  Yes

line 1318:  No

line 1325:  "Do you enjoy mechanical objects in your mouth?"

line 1326:  Yes

line 1327:  No

line 1334:  "Do you enjoy other people's hands
in your mouth?"

line 1336:  Yes

line 1337:  No

line 1344:  "Do you enjoy rubber in your mouth?"

line 1345:  Yes

line 1346:  No

line 1353:  "Do you swallow?"

line 1354:  Yes

line 1355:  No

line 1362:  "Have you ever even heard of AIDS?"

line 1363:  Yes

line 1364:  No

line 1371:  "Do you know anyone who has ever hired a lawyer?"

line 1372:  Yes

line 1373:  No

line 1380:  "Do you know the definition of `malpractice?'"

line 1381:  Yes

line 1382:  No

line 1392:  "Since this is not an emergency,
I'll go ahead and set you up with an appointment for,
uh, let's see... how about nine months from today?
Ten o'clock is good for me!"

line 1415:  "Oops! Well, gosh, I'm sorry,
but I just realized we'll be unable to accept you as a client.
I just remembered...
we have no more openings this century!"

line 1434:  "Wait!" you cry, but it's too late.

line 1445:  "Hepowafww, mmapwffoj," you mumble with
your jaw tied shut,
while you pretend to be unable to speak,
"maywppf asqd waf ffvppf?"

line 1451:  "Oh, you poor dear!
You look like you're in terrible pain!
Why, just go right on in.
I'll have one of our technicians attend to you
right away!"

line 1461:  "Excuse me, ma'am," you say, hoping she
doesn't recognize your voice.
"My name is Larry; Larry Laffer."

line 1465:  "Well, Larry, that was a quick trip!
Please, just walk through the door to the right!
I'll have one of our technicians attend to you
right away!"

line 1516:  the doily

line 1527:  The only thing on this table is a long, lacy doily.
It reminds you of those long runners your Grandmother
had on her table.

line 1541:  There is nothing here.

line 1622:  You take the lace doily from the waiting room table,
but you really don't know why.









910.SC 
------

line 125:  Wow, what a babe!
Chi Chi Lambada is the perfect name for this Latin beauty!

line 128:  Chi Chi Lambada's Dental Hygiene Heaven cubicle
is far from typical.
Instead of Muzak, hot salsa music plays over a powerful
stereo system.
And how strange: the center of the carpet shows signs
of extensive wear.

line 142:  "You know, Chi Chi, 
I bet a girl like you could use something like this," 
you say, offering her the green card you "found" 
at the airport.

line 146:  "Could I?" says Chi Chi. 
"Oh, Larry!
You've made me the happiest woman in Miami.
Now I'll be able to move to Central California!"

line 157:  Try establishing eye contact first.

line 161:  She's not interested in that, Larry.
Talk to her; use your charm.

line 176:  Try establishing eye contact first.

line 181:  Is that the only thing on your mind?

line 182:  (Don't answer that!)

line 188:  "You know, Ms. Lambada,"
you say as she inserts her hands into your mouth,
"I wmwpafz fqpzvi uht cpwexf kpazxccxwq!"

line 194:  "I can't take any more of this, Ms. Lambada,"
you cry, "I hate the taste of latex gloves!"

line 206:  You can't do that while lying in a dentist's chair.

line 221:  "If you've stared at me long enough,
Mr. Laffer, it's time for me to get back into your mouth!

line 239:  the faucet

line 240:  The faucet is drip-, drip-, dripping,
right in time to the music that's playing!

line 253:  her eyes

line 256:  From this distance, you feel as though you could fall
right into Chi Chi's beautiful brown eyes!

line 275:  the happy tooth poster

line 276:  If you maintained a regular schedule of oral hygiene 
with Chi Chi Lambada, your teeth would be happy too!

line 291:  the drill

line 292:  Whenever you see a high-speed dental drill,
you make a silent vow to floss more often!

line 307:  the sink

line 308:  You love it when a woman orders you to "Spit!"

line 322:  the tray of dental tools

line 323:  You've always believed dental professionals have
latent masochistic tendencies.

line 338:  the dentist's chair

line 339:  You just love electric furniture!

line 353:  the window

line 354:  Through the window you see children laughing, skipping,
running, playing; all oblivious to their oral hygiene!

line 369:  Chi Chi's degree

line 370:  Interesting. You never knew the Columbia School of
Broadcasting even HAD a dental college!

line 385:  the spotlight

line 386:  You love to peer at the reflection of your mouth
on the surface of the dental spotlight.

line 398:  Chi Chi Lambada

line 438:  Chi Chi Lambada

line 449:  "Hey! What do you think you're doing?!"

line 452:  "Now, Larry! Stop that!!"

line 458:  Wow!
You can now readily understand how she got that name!
Take a look at those Chi Chi's!

line 471:  "Gulp!"

line 475:  Wow!
You can now readily understand how she got that name!
Take a look at those Chi Chi's!

line 484:  "Gulp!"

line 492:  Try establishing eye contact first.

line 499:  "Gulp!"

line 503:  "Don't rush me, Big Guy!
You've still got a little plaque on those bicuspids."

line 509:  "Well, I might be interested, Larry,"
says Chi Chi.
"But, what about a little conversation first?"

line 518:  Try establishing eye contact first.

line 593:  "Oh, Chi Chi," you say,
"has anyone ever told you you're beautiful?"

line 599:  "Does the name `Bucky Beaver' mean anything
to you?" you ask Chi Chi.

line 605:  "Oh, I do hope illegal actions don't
bother you, Larry!" says Chi Chi.

line 612:  Waiting until your mouth is full of equipment,
Chi Chi asks you a question.

line 619:  "I hope it doesn't bother you if I 
occasionally rub up against your elbow... like this.
Sometimes when I hear that salsa music,
I get so excited I just can't control myself!"

line 635:  "Yes."

line 641:  "Well, I suppose I've heard worse!"
she reponds.

line 648:  "Well, I dunno," you respond.

line 653:  "Have you ever considered dental floss as an aphrodisiac?"

line 659:  "I know what you mean," you say.

line 668:  (You're going to have to do better than that line,
Larry!)

line 679:  "Oh, nothing much, I suppose.
I really meant to jump in on that
amnesty deal a few years ago,
but I just forgot, I guess."

line 688:  "Owefggh wfqqafd," you reply.

line 707:  "Amnesty? Chi Chi?" you interject.
"Are you an `undocumented worker?'"

line 720:  "Yes, I guess I am," she replies.
"Although I'd do anything for the man who could help 
me become a citizen."

line 731:  "Say," she pauses and looks deep into your eyes,
"you wouldn't have any ideas about this, would you?"

line 741:  "Uh, no, I can't think of anything right now,"
you say with a grin.
"But if something pops up, I feel certain I'll think of you!"

line 777:  Please hold still Mr. Laffer,
while I get my pliers, er, I mean dental floss!

line 800:  her chi chis

line 818:  her button

line 819:  As much as you try to prevent it, 
your eyes are attracted to the vicinity of that button; 
is her thread straining?

line 840:  Chi Chi Lambada

line 912:  You think to yourself,
"Where else do you pay someone lots of money to insert metal 
objects into your mouth in order to inflict lots of pain?"

line 929:  You hear someone coming.

line 961:  "Well, Mr. Laffer, shall we get started?"

line 976:  "Oh, I don't know," you protest.
"I hate dental work so much,
I think I'd rather have a baby!

line 983:  "Well, make up your mind," says Chi Chi.
"I've gotta adjust the chair!"

line 1013:  Something about the sound of that suction hose
excites you!

line 1028:  "Say, Larry.
Have you ever considered dental floss as an aphrodisiac?"

line 1057:  "Just a few more seconds and I'll have that nasty
old tooth of yours pu..., er, uh, cleaned!"

line 1081:  "I'm all done, Mr. Laffer!"

line 1118:  "Why don't we go downstairs to my apartment
behind the gymnastics studio where I'll be able to express 
my appreciation in a more acceptable manner!"

line 1126:  (All right, Larry!
It sounds like you're going to get a home-cooked meal
for a change!)

line 1139:  A few minutes later, 
downstairs in the 
gymnastics studio...

line 1186:  her chi chis

line 1208:  "Hey! Just a minute here!
If anybody's going to undo my button, it's me!"









920.SC 
------

line 138:  "Chi Chi!" you cry. "What are you doing?"

line 143:  "Come on, my little Tito Puente," she cries,
"I am ready and waiting!"

line 145:  Chi Chi

line 192:  "UGH!"

line 276:  "Oh, Larry!" cries Chi Chi,
"I bet you've never done it THIS way!"

line 278:  Chi Chi

line 303:  "Larry! Watch out for my trampoline!"

line 304:  Chi Chi

line 329:  "ARGGHH!"

line 330:  You

line 423:  "Now it's your turn, Larry!"
says Chi Chi, the blood rushing to her brain.
"Come and get it, Big Fella!"

line 426:  Chi Chi

line 465:  "AAWWWH!"

line 466:  You

line 519:  What a humiliating experience this has been!
Finally, your lack of athletic ability has emerged
to haunt you!

line 525:  Well, at least you recorded Chi Chi on your videotape.
The boys in the office will be proud of you!

line 527:  (But so much for those fantasies you've
had about you and gymnasts!)

line 531:  What a shame you didn't get that scene on tape!

line 548:  Chi Chi Lambada

line 549:  Chi Chi loves doing sexually-explicit gymnastics
routines.

line 563:  the venetian blinds

line 564:  If it weren't for these venetian blinds,
we'd all have a perfect view!

line 578:  the rope

line 579:  Hang on to this!









ABOUT.SC 
------

line 2:  about

line 23:  "Leisure Suit Larry 5: 
Passionate Patti Does A Little Undercover Work" 
 
Executive Producer 
Ken Williams 
 
Creative Director 
Bill Davis 
 
Director 
Al Lowe 
 
Producer 
Guruka Singh Khalsa 


line 41:  Sierra Presents

line 45:  Game Designer 
Al Lowe 
 
Production Designer 
Andy Hoyos 
 
Art Designer 
Jane Cardinal 
 
Lead Programmer 
Brian K. Hughes 
 
Composer 
Craig Safan 
 
Art Team Manager 
Cheryl Loyd 


line 67:  The Bosses

line 71:  Animators 
Cheryl Loyd, Barry T. Smith, 
Roger Hardy, Jr., Dana M. Dean, 
Karin Young, Marc Hudgins, Eric Kasner, 
Richard Powell, Phyllis Cucchiara, 
Terry Falls, Michael Hutchison, 
Desie Hartman, and Willis Wong 
 
Background Artists 
Jane Cardinal, Maurice Morgan, 
Andy Hoyos, Cheryl Loyd, Jay Friedman, 
Jennifer Shontz, and Gloria Garland 
 
Programmers 
Brian K. Hughes, Carlos Escobar, 
Steve Conrad, John Hartin, 
Oliver Brelsford, and Al Lowe 


line 93:  The Workers

line 97:  Music Director 
Mark Seibert 
 
Composer 
Craig Safan 
 
Additional Music 
Chris Braymen 
 
Theme Song Composed by 
Al Lowe 


line 113:  The Boys in the Band

line 117:  Written Exclusively in S.C.I. 
"Sierra's Creative Interpreter" 
 
System Programmers 
Jeff Stephenson, Robert E. Heitman, 
Day Foy, Larry Scott, John Retting, 
J. Mark Hood, Chris Smith, 
Terry McHenry, Eric Hart, Chad Bye, 
Mark Wilden, Ken Koch, John Crane, 
Steve Coallier, and Randy Moss 
 
Quality Assurance 
Robin Bradley 
 
Additional Written Material 
Josh Mandel 
 
Version %s %s


line 144:  The Hackers

line 147:  If you're having a good time playing this game and would
like to order other fun products from the Sierra family of
computer games, just give our Order Desk a telephone call at 
%s. 
(International customers call 209 683-4468.) 
 
Our friendly and courteous order takers are probably sitting around
doing nothing right now and would love to have someone to talk to! 


line 162:  A Paid Commercial Announcement

line 165:  You'll also want to order spare copies of all these 
other lovable Larry Laffer mis-adventures: 
"Leisure Suit Larry In the Land of the Lounge Lizards," 
"Leisure Suit Larry Goes Looking for Love 
(in Several Wrong Places)," 
"Leisure Suit Larry 3: Passionate Patti 
in Pursuit of the Pulsating Pectorals," 
"Leisure Suit Larry 4: The Missing Floppies," and 
"The Laffer Utilities," a collection of silly little programs
designed just for fun at the office. 
 
(Well, maybe you shouldn't order your copies of Larry4 just yet;
we seem to have misplaced our master disks.) 


line 182:  More Laffer Laughs

line 185:  Besides the Larry series, Al Lowe has written these
other fine Sierra games: "Bop-A-Bet," 
"Dragon's Keep," "Troll's Tale," 
"The Gelfling Adventure," "The Black Cauldron," 
"Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Woods," 
and "Donald Duck's Playground." 


line 195:  Discontinued Products









CHARGER.SC 
------

line 90:  Cleverly spotting an empty electrical outlet,
you bend down and stick your battery charger in the socket.

line 138:  Bending over, you insert your Pocket Camcorder into
the battery charger and watch the "Charging" lamp
illuminate.

line 191:  You bend down and remove your battery charger and
camcorder from the electrical socket.

line 254:  YEEE-OUCH!

line 273:  the battery charger

line 285:  ______Battery Strength: %d%c

line 291:  Camcorder Battery Strength

line 294:  Your lonely battery charger sits all by itself,
with plenty of power to suck from the wall, 
but with no place to push it!

line 313:  You want to stick it WHERE???!!!!









DOOR.SC 
------

line 147:  This door is locked.









HOLYWOOD.SC 
-----------

line 22:  demo

line 42:  "Where am I?" you wonder.
"What's happened to me?
What am I doing here?"

line 45:  The last you remember,
you were writing your life story as a computer game,
sitting on a deck with a half-naked woman,
overlooking a beautiful lake nestled
high in the Sierra Nevada.

line 53:  "I remember a woman named Patti;
something about an island;
and, a gig as a computer game programmer?" you think.
"What's going on?"

line 57:  "How did I end up in Hollywood --
and what am I supposed to be doing here?" you sigh.
"I'm so confused!"

line 60:  (Of course, you're quite accustomed
to being confused!)

line 65:  "And what am I doing in Larry 5?" you think.
"And whatever happened to Larry 4?"

line 67:  Slowly you come to the realization that you
must be suffering from amnesia,
although how a computer game character gets
amnesia you do not understand!

line 74:  "Who was that Patti woman?
Does she still exist?
Did she ever exist?" you think.
"Or is she just a series of partially-toggled bits
in my memories?"

line 79:  You remember her most deeply in your heart,
not to mention several other major organs.

line 81:  But where is she?
Will you see her again?
Does she ever think of you?

line 87:  Suddenly, your memories stir again,
"Patti was Passionate Patti, the famous pianist/entertainer.
I remember: I loved her!"

line 90:  "And wait! She loved me, too!
Will I ever find her again?"









INVENTRY.SC 
-----------

line 32:  January

line 33:  February

line 34:  March

line 35:  April

line 36:  May

line 37:  June

line 38:  July

line 39:  August

line 40:  September

line 41:  October

line 42:  November

line 43:  December

line 181:  Click here to close this window and return to the game.

line 199:  To look more closely at one of your inventory items,
first click here, then click on the item.

line 218:  To do something to one of your inventory items,
first click here, then click on the item.

line 237:  To learn about the other icons in this window,
first click here, then click on the item.

line 255:  To use one of your inventory items in the game,
first click here, then click on the item,
then click on OK.

line 276:  Camcorder

line 284:  the camcorder

line 290:  Auto-focus, auto-level, auto-color balance, auto-zoom,
auto-pan, .5-lux, Complete-Video- 
Studio-in-a-Pocket-Protector. 
'The Rob Lowe Model'

line 297:   Power: %s  
Charge: %d min %d sec  

line 299:  On

line 299:  Off

line 313:  Delicately exchanging your blue ballpoint with
your yellow highlighter, you switch the camcorder off.

line 315:  Charge: %d min %d sec 

line 324:  Slipping your green felt-tip between the
.5-mm lead mechanical pencil and the blue ink
rolling ball pen, you switch the camcorder on.

line 327:  Charge: %d min %d sec 

line 334:  Your camcorder's batteries are exhausted.

line 337:  The camcorder will not operate without a videotape
inside.

line 346:  Before installing another videotape,
you first remove the tape in the camcorder.

line 353:  Because of its tiny size,
your camcorder has no erase heads.
It requires tapes that have been previously degaussed.

line 356:  (You DID degauss them, didn't you, Larry?)

line 362:  You insert the tape into "The Rob Lowe."

line 385:  Battery Charger

line 391:  the battery charger

line 396:  "Insert into any 110-volt, 20-amp GFI-protected circuit.
Recharges most batteries in one minute!"

line 402:  You open the battery charger and discover there's
no battery inside!

line 408:  The battery recharger must be plugged into a wall
socket before the camcorder may be installed in it.

line 425:  A Blank Videotape

line 431:  the videotape

line 438:  Genuine pretty-good quality 
Highly biased 
Degauss before using 
Floss before brushing 
 
T-10

line 449:  The videotape is already degaussed.

line 454:  You had no idea financial concepts could be so
"physically" rewarding!

line 460:  You had no idea mud wrestling could be so
spiritually rewarding!

line 466:  You had no idea dental pain could be so rewarding!

line 473:  You wriggle the tiny door on the videotape just to
make sure it still works. It does.

line 488:  A Blank Videotape

line 494:  the videotape

line 501:  Genuine pretty-good quality 
Highly biased 
Degauss before using 
Floss before brushing 
 
T-10

line 512:  The videotape is already degaussed.

line 517:  You had no idea financial concepts could be so
"physically" rewarding!

line 523:  You had no idea mud wrestling could be so
spiritually rewarding!

line 529:  You had no idea dental pain could be so rewarding!

line 536:  You shake the videotape violently,
seeking to prevent premature shell stickage.

line 551:  A Blank Videotape

line 557:  the videotape

line 564:  Genuine pretty-good quality 
Highly biased 
Degauss before using 
Floss before brushing 
 
T-10

line 575:  The videotape is already degaussed.

line 580:  You had no idea financial concepts could be so
"physically" rewarding!

line 586:  You had no idea mud wrestling could be so
spiritually rewarding!

line 592:  You had no idea dental pain could be so rewarding!

line 599:  You smooth down the label on the videotape with your
hand.

line 614:  Michelle Milken's Resume

line 620:  Michelle's resume

line 625:  NAME________Michelle Milken 
AGE_________28 
HAIR________Black 
EYES________Brown 
HEIGHT______6'_1" 
WEIGHT______131 


line 637:  OCCUPATION__junk bond sales 
HANGOUTS____Wall Street, 
____________computer stores 
TURNONS_____anything covered 
____________with whipped cream 
TURNOFFS____strong moral fiber 


line 650:  Inside her folder, you find a napkin.

line 661:  You open Michelle Milken's resume and look inside.

line 676:  Hard Disk Cafe Napkin

line 682:  the Hard Disk Cafe napkin

line 687:  If computers are your life, 
grab a quick byte in our cafe! 
In the Heart of the Fabulous 
Times Square Wine Country 
920 W. 42nd Street 
New York City

line 699:  Exploring for a secret message from someone in New
York City, you unfold the Hard Disk Cafe napkin.
Alas, you find nothing written on the napkin.

line 715:  Aerodork Gold Card

line 721:  the Aerodork Gold Card

line 726:  "Whether in the U.S.A. or the South Pacific,
it's Nontoonyt for you on Aerodork!"

line 732:  You scratch the Aerodork Gold Card and find it isn't
made of solid gold.

line 747:  Boarding Pass

line 753:  the boarding pass

line 762:  This boarding pass good for one First
Class Seat on Aerodork Flight #1, %s to %s, seat %d%c,
%s %d, %d only.

line 767:  L.A.

line 770:  New York

line 773:  Atlantic City

line 776:  Miami

line 781:  L.A.

line 784:  New York

line 787:  Atlantic City

line 790:  Miami

line 802:  You open the boarding pass and discover it looks
just like the one that came in the box with this game!

line 817:  AeroDork's In-Flight Magazine

line 823:  the magazine

line 828:  Good idea;
save this in case the restroom runs out of paper!

line 834:  Opening the magazine, you discover an interesting
article. It says computer punch cards are descendants
of a long line of mechanical products dating all the
way back to the music box.

line 839:  You promise to remember this information,
in case you ever run across a music box in a computer store.

line 854:  Some Change

line 860:  the quarter

line 865:  You always were a %d-bit game player!

line 871:  You flip the quarter in the air.
It comes up %s.

line 872:  heads

line 872:  tails

line 888:  DayTrotter05

line 894:  the DayTrotter05

line 900:  You always wanted to have one of these,
but you never had anything to schedule!

line 906:  Inside you find: some folding money with more than two
digits in the corners, many credit cards, some mutual fund
account access codes, and a Swiss bank account number.

line 924:  You thumb through the pages looking for anything
that might help you, but find nothing except
some alphabetical page dividers, which you rip out of the
binder in disgust and throw away!

line 946:  Money

line 952:  the money

line 957:  This is even better than having your own
savings and loan (as you think you may have had in
"LSL4: The Missing Floppies!"

line 964:  You really enjoy running your money through your
fingers. However, counting that high is beyond your
limited mathematical skills.

line 980:  Credit Cards

line 986:  the credit cards

line 991:  Whoever this Pat Patterson guy was, he was sure loaded!

line 996:  You carefully count the credit cards.
There are more than you ever imagined having.

line 1011:  Membership Tape

line 1017:  the membership tape

line 1024:  What an interesting way to make a
club membership card!
No one uses this antique, 9-track, paper tape any more!

line 1031:  Whoever said you're not a man of credit!

line 1036:  How clever you are!
A few extra holes and you're a new man!

line 1044:  You briefly consider folding, spindling or mutilating
this tape, but remembering your early training,
decide not to do it--at least not here.

line 1060:  DataMan

line 1067:  the DataMan

line 1074:  You are amazed the Japanese didn't come up
with this product first!

line 1080:  Reverse Biaz 
des Rever Records 
Suite 900 
Shill Building 
1000 Upson Downs Lane 
Baltimore, MD 


line 1094:  P. C. Hammer 
K-RAP Radio 
1709 Hillview Vista 
Philidelphia, PA 
Access code: 45954 
 
often in Control Room B 
Access code: n/a 


line 1112:  The DataMan has no on/off switch
as it is always on.
However, right now it is empty.

line 1118:  You remove Reverse Biaz' DataPak from your
DataMan.

line 1130:  You remove P. C. Hammer's DataPak from your
DataMan.

line 1147:  You insert Reverse Biaz' DataPak into your
DataMan.

line 1158:  The DataMan already contains a DataPak.

line 1164:  You insert P. C. Hammer's DataPak into your
DataMan.

line 1175:  The DataMan already contains a DataPak.

line 1192:  Reverse Biaz DataPak

line 1199:  the Reverse Biaz DataPak

line 1204:  Reverse Biaz 
 
Insert one end first

line 1212:  You check the DataPak carefully for any signs of
damage. You find none.

line 1227:  P. C. Hammer DataPak

line 1234:  the P. C. Hammer DataPak

line 1239:  P. C. Hammer 
 
Insert one end first

line 1247:  You check the DataPak carefully for any signs of
damage. You find none.

line 1262:  Lana Luscious' Resume

line 1268:  Lana's resume

line 1274:  NAME________Lana Luscious 
AGE_________21 
HAIR________Blond 
EYES________Blue 
HEIGHT______5'_10" 
WEIGHT______123 


line 1286:  OCCUPATION__professional mud wrestler, 
____________former "Miss Wet T-Shirt 
____________of Atlantic City" 
HANGOUTS____Tramp's Boardwalk 
TURNONS_____polyurethane, mud 
TURNOFFS____high IQ's 


line 1299:  Inside her folder, you find a matchbook.

line 1310:  You open Lana Luscious' resume and look inside.

line 1325:  Tramp Casino Matchbook

line 1331:  the Tramp's casino matchbook

line 1336:  "Visit beautiful Tramp Casino
on the beautiful Tramp Boardwalk
outside the luxurious Tramp Hotel
near the palatial Tramp Overscale Miniature Golf Course
right off filthy Tramp Beach! 
 
777 High Roller Drive 
Atlantic City"

line 1349:  Just for fun you strike a match and hold it between
your fingers as long as possible, until it burns down so
far that you think you're about to burn yourself.
Then you drop it and rub it out with your toe.

line 1353:  (Thus you amuse yourself greatly!)

line 1367:  Silver Dollar

line 1373:  the silver dollar

line 1378:  You have %d silver dollar%s,
but you desire much, much more. 

line 1381:  s

line 1381:  

line 1384:  Hey, wait a minute! 
 
These aren't real silver dollars.
Every single one of them has Donald Tramp's picture on it!

line 1390:  You enjoy the clinking sound these silver dollars make.

line 1404:  Rollerblades

line 1410:  the rollerblades

line 1415:  With these on your feet you feel as though you could
fly... right off the boardwalk.

line 1424:  You can't skate here, Larry!

line 1439:  Reverse Biaz Fax

line 1445:  the fax on Reverse Biaz

line 1450:  Reverse Biaz 
des Rever Records 
Suite 900 
Shill Building 
1000 Upson Downs Lane 
Baltimore, MD 


line 1463:  This fax paper sure is flimsy!

line 1477:  Champagne

line 1483:  the champagne

line 1488:  You do so love a nice wet Brute!

line 1493:  You begin to pop the cork, but decide to wait
for a more opportune moment.

line 1508:  Gold Record

line 1514:  the gold record

line 1520:  Excellent detective work, Patti!

line 1524:  For years you've wondered what happened to
"The Four Shabangs!"

line 1531:  You have your doubts that this record is solid gold.

line 1545:  Cassette Tape

line 1551:  the cassette tape

line 1556:  A smoking gun of the subtle degradation of our nation's
youth by those filth-mongering blasphemers,
wouldn't you say, Patti?

line 1563:  You hold the cassette tape up to your ear and listen
carefully. You do not hear the ocean roar!

line 1578:  Chi Chi Lambada's Resume

line 1584:  Chi Chi's resume

line 1589:  NAME________Chi Chi Lambada 
AGE_________24 
HAIR________Raven 
EYES________Chestnut 
HEIGHT______5'_8" 
WEIGHT______101 


line 1601:  OCCUPATION__dental hygienist and 
____________former gymnast 
HANGOUTS____the gym; the office 
TURNONS_____locker room odor, 
____________dental irrigators 
TURNOFFS____burning rubber 


line 1614:  Inside her folder, you find a business card.

line 1625:  You open Chi Chi Lambada's resume and look inside.

line 1640:  Doc Pulliam's Card

line 1646:  Doc Pulliam's card

line 1652:  "Can Doc Fixem? 
Nope, but can 'Doc Pulliam!!'" 
 
Doc Pulliam's Dental Hygiene Heaven, 
169 Lower Wacker Drive 
Miami, FL 
Dial 554-3627 
 
Our Motto: 
"Beats a doorknob and string!"

line 1668:  You turn the business card over expecting to find
a secret clue on the back.

line 1670:  You don't.

line 1684:  Green Card

line 1690:  the green card

line 1695:  Official U. S. Government Alien Resident Permit

line 1700:  Whatever possessed you to "purchase" one of these?

line 1714:  Doily

line 1720:  the doily

line 1726:  Isn't this sweet!
It would look great back home in your apartment.

line 1730:  (If you HAD an apartment!)

line 1733:  (If you had a HOME!)

line 1740:  You'd be too embarassed to wear the doily now!

line 1750:  Sadly, you remove the doily from your head.

line 1760:  Feeling rather silly,
you wrap the doily around your head in a classic
"3 Stooges-toothache" style.

line 1779:  P. C. Hammer Fax

line 1785:  the fax on P. C. Hammer

line 1790:  P. C. Hammer 
K-RAP Radio 
1709 Hillview Vista 
Philidelphia, PA 
Access code: 45954 
often in Control Room B 
Access code: n/a 


line 1804:  This fax paper sure is flimsy!

line 1818:  Letter Opener

line 1824:  the letter opener

line 1829:  This is merely a razor-sharp letter opener;
don't try anything funny with it like picking locks!

line 1835:  You nearly cut your hand on the needle-like
letter opener.

line 1850:  Desk Key

line 1856:  the desk key

line 1861:  Did you know that one key will fit the lock of every
piece of pressed-cardboard furniture in the world!?

line 1878:  Folder Of Evidence

line 1884:  the folder of evidence

line 1889:  Examining the papers inside the folder carefully,
you find one with some references to gangster activities.
It is signed only with a scrawled name you make out
to be "Julius."

line 1895:  These papers provide proof positive of Mob payola
at K-RAP Radio! But how will you get them out of here
without Krapper finding out?

line 1904:  xxxThe papers in the folder have already been
copied.

line 1908:  Checking through these papers makes you realize
you need some way to photocopy them.

line 1924:  Photocopied Evidence

line 1930:  the photocopies

line 1935:  These copies provide proof positive of Mob payola
at K-RAP Radio!

line 1941:  Good job sneaking these photocopies out of K-RAP,
Patti!

line 1956:  Reel To Reel Tape

line 1962:  the reel-to-reel tape

line 1968:  tttt"D D D" 
 
This tape is filled with digitally recorded
incriminating evidence!

line 1975:  If you could look closely enough,
you could see billions of magnetic particles
pointing in random directions.

line 1980:  (In other words, this tape is still blank!)

line 1984:  You really need a tape deck to use this, Patti.

line 1998:  Hooter Shooter

line 2004:  the "Hooter Shooter" bra

line 2010:  Commander Twit's boys may be into explosives,
but they know nothing about comfort or adequate support.









LARRY.SC 
--------

line 17:  Larry

line 20:  Larry

line 21:  You give yourself a thorough once over and
remember why you love polyester!

line 37:  A guy never looks as good as he does on
polystyrene wheels!

line 40:  You give yourself a thorough once over and
remember why you love polyester!

line 45:  And to think you used to laugh at your Mother when she
would talk to herself!

line 49:  You carefully smooth the wrinkles from your clothes.

line 50:  (And spend quite a bit longer in some locations
than others!)

line 54:  After a careful check to be sure no one is watching,
you slyly "adjust your clothing."

line 60:  You adjust your camcorder to make sure it
has a clear view out of your pocket.

line 64:  You mop your brow with the napkin.
Fortunately, it's still readable.

line 68:  You pay yourself all your money!

line 71:  You attempt to set yourself on fire.

line 72:  (You fail.)

line 78:  You pick your teeth with the business card.

line 84:  You don't need to give yourself %s, Larry;
you already have it!

line 122:  You have nothing.









PASSWORD.SC 
-----------

line 46:  NONE

line 59:  I'm sorry, but you have failed to enter the correct
password for this game.
Please try again when you know the password.

line 62:  Five Strikes and You're Out!

line 68:  Please enter your new password:

line 72:  Your password is now %s. 
 
Don't forget it!

line 76:  Write this down!

line 81:  Would you like to restore 
a previously saved game?

line 83:  Restore

line 84:  Continue

line 85:  Welcome back!

line 98:  MEMORY.DRV

line 103:  NONE

line 105:  If you would like to password 
protect this game, select 
'Password' below.

line 109:  Who cares?

line 110:  Password

line 111:  An ounce of prevention...

line 119:  Please enter your password, 
exactly as you typed it:

line 124:  Ok

line 125:  Change

line 126:  Hey! Is that you again?

line 166:  NONE

line 176:  %d

line 179:   









PATTI.SC 
--------

line 17:  Patti

line 20:  Patti

line 21:  You look yourself over. You like what you see.
"I could stand to lose a few pounds," you think.

line 39:  You look yourself over. You like what you see.
"Although, I could stand to lose a few pounds," you think.

line 43:  "I really enjoy these little talks,"
you say to yourself.

line 48:  You begin to adjust a bra strap before remembering
you'd need a crowbar!

line 51:  You begin to adjust your bra strap before
remembering you'd need a bra!

line 56:  Maintaining your cool,
you surreptitiously check the zipper on your dress.
It's fine.

line 63:  As much as you'd love to celebrate,
you hate to drink alone!

line 67:  You can't listen to the gold record--without
equipment.

line 71:  You slide the letter opener inside the back of
your dress and scratch that itch that's been driving
you crazy!

line 74:  "Ahhh!"

line 79:  You gladly remove your double-barrelled bra.

line 83:  You slip your genuine F.B.I. bra over
your shoulders.

line 85:  "YOW! That sucker's cold!"

line 90:  You don't need to give yourself %s, Patti;
you already have it!

line 128:  You have nothing, Patti.









TTDIALER.SC 
-----------

line 248:  !!!!!

line 344:  "We're sorry, your call cannot be completed.
Please hang up and try your call again. 
If you are having trouble, 
please hang up and dial your operator."

line 349:  "This is a recording."

line 350:  (As if you didn't know!)

line 353:  "Thank you for using U. S. Sprint!"

line 370:  "You have reached Directory Assistance for the
Greater %s Area.
We're sorry, but we're unable to come to the phone 
right now.
We're presently busy (yeah, busy %s!).
Let us assure you that your call IS important;
it's just not important to us!"

line 378:  Washington, D. C.

line 382:  New York City Metropolitan

line 385:  Atlantic City Non-Tramp Infested

line 388:  Dade County

line 391:  `Enter Your City Here'

line 396:  floating down the Potomac

line 400:  getting mugged

line 403:  feeding the slots

line 406:  lying on the beach

line 409:  sitting on the can!

line 440:  x

line 500:  !

line 504:  #

line 507:  *

line 510:  %d

